[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

With God™, there is a way!

PRAISE!

I am so glad that you, and potentially millions of others, found my little contribution to this thread in time, before those seeds took root again. This is the real reward of all the time we put in here; When one True Christian™ can help another.

Just to be safe, though, I wonder if you might want to consider some kind of intensive colon cleanse, or something? Ick, I feel so dirty writing that! But, we have to face these things head on and root out evil in its own lair.

[ebilly99]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

We seem to forget the most extreme evidence that cucumbers are from God. They signify the reserection. For three days he laid in the tomb, for three weeks a cucumber will sit in viniger
Jesus rose in a perfected body
A Cucumber is perfected into a pickle.
Explain how evolution could make the cucumber remeber jesus's reserection through scintific means

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Just to be safe, though, I wonder if you might want to consider some kind of intensive colon cleanse, or something?

Don't worry, already had that a few hours ago!
I didn't really have time to go to a hospital, as I'm busy doing Creation Research, but the vacuum cleaner did a tremendous job!

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

We seem to forget the most extreme evidence that cucumbers are from God. They signify the reserection. For three days he laid in the tomb, for three weeks a cucumber will sit in viniger
Jesus rose in a perfected body
A Cucumber is perfected into a pickle.
Explain how evolution could make the cucumber remeber jesus's reserection through scintific means

Are you deliberately misspelling the word "resurrection?"

[ebilly99]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Heaven forbid. I am a bad speller. I am sorry please forgive me

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Heaven forbid. I am a bad speller. I am sorry please forgive me

You are forgiven. Try to learn better English, Brother, to prevent unnecessary confusion.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

We seem to forget the most extreme evidence that cucumbers are from God. They signify the reserection. For three days he laid in the tomb, for three weeks a cucumber will sit in viniger
Jesus rose in a perfected body
A Cucumber is perfected into a pickle.
Explain how evolution could make the cucumber remeber jesus's reserection through scintific means

Godly point friend. We will consider it.

[Science!]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

My atheist friends time taunt me with childish question like “show me any proof, no matter how vague of this existence of God.” While this is utterly disingenuous, proof of God’s existence is in all of our hearts as atheists well know, I suppose for the weak faith it is worth the effort of putting up a good example. So for my friends how there who persist in denying the existence of God here goes.

The cucumber: The cucumber sleek shape is the correct size of the human hand. While one can make the weak argument that cucumbers are just that size because apes eat them and Godly micro evolution caused this them to be convenient to a human sized hand no other primate we are supposedly related to eats the cucumber, only humans. This also makes the cucumber the optimal size to be inserted into a human bodily orifice, again there is no natural reason for this. Only humans are depraved enough to violate themselves with a vegetable. Cucumbers have a tough out skin that allows them to put up to resist repeated rubbing, like what will happen when a cucumber is inserted into a human bodily orifice for purulent reasons. Again, no natural reason for this.

Evolution can not explain the cucumber. So clearly the cucumber has a creator.

Who or what is so obsessed with what humans put into their bodies that it would create a vegetable to enable it? There is only one answer; the God of the Christian Bible. Sticking things into your bum is a major point of Christianity. It is the direst of sins and God is on the constant alert for it, He is utterly outraged by it and tests humanity for it relentlessly. Clearly cucumbers are created by God as a trap for any hidden self sodomites out there.

Game over Atheists.

I suppose bananas are also traps? Cucumbers have a thick prickled skin because they grow on the ground, the thick skin provides minor protection against would be predators.

I think this theory says more about you then cucumbers, i mean who looks at a cucumber and comes to the conclusion that it is used to pleasure oneself?

[livia_warumono]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

That's a very valid point Mrs Roberts.
I remember one time when my dear departed husband was alive.
There was a loud scream from the Bathroom.
My poor husband had somehow slipped on some soap in the shower, and fell backwards on to one of these Demonic Cucumbers (which just happened to be pointing upright).
It took a team of Surgeons quite some time to remove it.
We never had Cucumber sandwiches again, after that day.
I think he re-lived it several times.

why was there a cucumber in your bathroom?
he sounds a bit suspect to me

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

why was there a cucumber in your bathroom?
he sounds a bit suspect to me

Spreading gossip about Godly True Christians™ is not acceptable here, young lady. Especially not when it concerns people who are more moral than you by epic magnitudes! I think Jesus will reserve a particularly hot place in the Lake of Fire for you!

[A Follower]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists



Even child-hating prophylactic manufacturers have started marketing condoms for cucumbers, more proof that even unbelievers know what cucumbers are used for, and that they use them so often that it's worth a billboard and a special product line.

http://wjz.com/watercooler/racy.billboard.cucumber.2.1457293.html

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Even child-hating prophylactic manufacturers have started marketing condoms for cucumbers, more proof that even unbelievers know what cucumbers are used for, and that they use them so often that it's worth a billboard and a special product line.

http://wjz.com/watercooler/racy.bill...2.1457293.html

Right you are, brother! Amazing, how hypocritical atheists keep denying this obvious fact!

[ThrustingBoy]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Right you are, brother! Amazing, how hypocritical atheists keep denying this obvious fact!

This only proves that some people (very few I would assume) would even think about using a cucumber in this way. But you cannot PROVE that they are a trap for homos because it is not in scripture.

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

This only proves that some people (very few I would assume) would even think about using a cucumber in this way. But you cannot PROVE that they are a trap for homos because it is not in scripture.

Genesis 1:11-12:
And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good


You see, the Bible does teach that God created everything there is. And He surely did that for a Reason, which implies that there must be a Reason for everything there is.
Also, God gave us free choice, and offered us the possibility to choose to sin and go to Hell. Therefore, for every sin imaginable, God has created instruments for us to sin with. As explained numerous times in this thread by now, He must have created something to allow us to have intercourse with vegetables, and the cucumber is the most likely candidate for that.

[GOD=life]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

This only proves that some people (very few I would assume) would even think about using a cucumber in this way. But you cannot PROVE that they are a trap for homos because it is not in scripture.

So basically, your argument is that a mathematician cannot prove that 3423423 + 343423 = 3766846 because it's not written in any math book.