[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

We seem to forget the most extreme evidence that cucumbers are from God. They signify the reserection. For three days he laid in the tomb, for three weeks a cucumber will sit in viniger
Jesus rose in a perfected body
A Cucumber is perfected into a pickle.
Explain how evolution could make the cucumber remeber jesus's reserection through scintific means

Godly point friend. We will consider it.

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Heaven forbid. I am a bad speller. I am sorry please forgive me

You are forgiven. Try to learn better English, Brother, to prevent unnecessary confusion.

[ebilly99]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Heaven forbid. I am a bad speller. I am sorry please forgive me

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

We seem to forget the most extreme evidence that cucumbers are from God. They signify the reserection. For three days he laid in the tomb, for three weeks a cucumber will sit in viniger
Jesus rose in a perfected body
A Cucumber is perfected into a pickle.
Explain how evolution could make the cucumber remeber jesus's reserection through scintific means

Are you deliberately misspelling the word "resurrection?"

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Just to be safe, though, I wonder if you might want to consider some kind of intensive colon cleanse, or something?

Don't worry, already had that a few hours ago!
I didn't really have time to go to a hospital, as I'm busy doing Creation Research, but the vacuum cleaner did a tremendous job!

[ebilly99]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

We seem to forget the most extreme evidence that cucumbers are from God. They signify the reserection. For three days he laid in the tomb, for three weeks a cucumber will sit in viniger
Jesus rose in a perfected body
A Cucumber is perfected into a pickle.
Explain how evolution could make the cucumber remeber jesus's reserection through scintific means

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

With God™, there is a way!

PRAISE!

I am so glad that you, and potentially millions of others, found my little contribution to this thread in time, before those seeds took root again. This is the real reward of all the time we put in here; When one True Christian™ can help another.

Just to be safe, though, I wonder if you might want to consider some kind of intensive colon cleanse, or something? Ick, I feel so dirty writing that! But, we have to face these things head on and root out evil in its own lair.

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I am so sorry I am not as familiar as I should be on all our church programs, Brother. Tell me about our Summer Camp For Remediating Ungodly Lusts, again?

Are you....a recovering ex-gay? (I'm so sorry to say that, if it's the case!) It would just be a horrible shame if the cucumber seeds set you all the way back to where you started!

Why aren't they covering this potential downfall in the summer classes??? The cucumber-seed-theory has been around for quite a while, as I understand it.

No, no, sister, you got me all wrong.

I am a happy heterosexual!

It's just that I had some disturbed feelings before the summer holidays, and Pastor Ezekiel friendly advised me to join the SCFRUL. I got cured of it there, but I has a slight regression into sin last week. Now I understand that my feelings before last summer holidays were the consequence of 22 years of eating cucumber seeds, and this slight regression from half a year eating it again. Now that I've stopped, I feel better immediately.

God bless you, Sister!

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I need to remember that. The Landover Summer Camp For Remediating Ungodly Lusts last year was a severe drain on my finances!

I am so sorry I am not as familiar as I should be on all our church programs, Brother. Tell me about our Summer Camp For Remediating Ungodly Lusts, again?

Are you....a recovering ex-gay? (I'm so sorry to say that, if it's the case!) It would just be a horrible shame if the cucumber seeds set you all the way back to where you started!

Why aren't they covering this potential downfall in the summer classes??? The cucumber-seed-theory has been around for quite a while, as I understand it.

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

We will have to wait for word from the Pastors and Male Elders, but I would think you have protected yourself by disguising the shape of the object, at least, by dicing it into cubes.

But....you would surely have noticed if the homosexuality had taken root, by now. It's impossible for the homosexual to disguise or ignore its impulses, without intensive professional help.

I need to remember that. The Landover Summer Camp For Remediating Ungodly Lusts last year was a severe drain on my finances!

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Sister, I'm suddenly in doubt. I always made little cubes of cucumbers before putting them into the salad. Is that also acceptable, or should I ask Jesus for forgiveness about this transgression?

We will have to wait for word from the Pastors and Male Elders, but I would think you have protected yourself by disguising the shape of the object, at least, by dicing it into cubes.

The question now is, just how many of the demon seeds you may have ingested, and how frequently.

But....you would surely have noticed if the homosexuality had taken root, by now. It's impossible for the homosexual to disguise or ignore its impulses, without intensive professional help.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Cucumbers originated in South Asia and were first cultivated more than 3000 years ago. The plant by nature was very easy to crop, so its cultivation quickly spreed to various parts of the globe. The wild cucumbers at this time were much much smaller and more round than the ones you would see at the grocery today. The increase in size and shape are due to artificial selection (when a human's preferences or influences have a significant effect on the growth of a population, in this case the preference for larger, more nutritious cucumber). It is unlikely that putting this small, round, and hard crop up the arse was the reason for its cultivation 3000 years ago, but rather the desire for more efficient crops.

Artificial Selection, in other words Intelligent Design?

So you admit the cucumber wouldn't occur naturally???

[True Disciple]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

IF you use cucumbers in a salad, or to serve alongside cold paoched salmon, you must disguise its shape.

First, peel them. Then, slice them lengthwise.

Most importantly, take a spoon and run it down the center of the cucumber halves, creating a furrow, to remove the seeds. These seeds are seeds of homosexual sin, and you wouldn't want them growing inside someone and entering the nervous system.

Now, cut the halves into slices, moving up the length of the cucumber.

Preparing and disguising the vegetable in this way renders it safe. (These slices also look like little arks if you look at them from the side, which is uplifting.)

Sister, I'm suddenly in doubt. I always made little cubes of cucumbers before putting them into the salad. Is that also acceptable, or should I ask Jesus for forgiveness about this transgression?

[ThrustingBoy]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Fact 2: Cucumbers are most likely to be used by filthy sodomites to be stuck in their behinds, because of their shape.

The "most likely" part says it all. And Bradley, don't bother bro, TRUST me, just don't bother.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Thrusting Boy,

We have deleted your posts because we grow weary of your prattle. We, threw the Power of Christ(tm), have PROVED that cucumbers were created by Jesus to trap the sinful into committing auto-sodomy. Since you have presented no argument against our PROOF beyond your childish "I don't want want to listen to Jesus" we will moderate any further posts from you on this threads as signs of being a sour loser.

Be an adult about Thrusting boy, you lost and that is all there is to it.