A question for the learned folk here

[Miss Maisie]

Hello, I have a bit of a tricky question for y'all. My Momma and Daddy were watching a program on the tv about them dinosaur bones, all of them, that they done dug up over time. They were talking about how they dated them, how old they are and also about these things called neanderthal men, and other moldy old bones which they say show proof of 'evolution'.

Now how come there are those bones? My Daddy says the devil done put them bones there to deceive the faithful and to encourage the wicked. Same with those old so called neanderthingys and 'older human remains. Is that so? Are those bones placed there by the devil? Why would the devil waste time making bones and putting them in places so hard to find?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A question for the learned folk here

For years, Creation Scientists have disputed how Noah was able to quickly collect millions of indigenous animals from remote, inaccessible regions of the world for a 40-day ride in his ark. New evidence from an archeological find in China supports the long held Christian belief that Noah's sons rode giant flying dinosaurs to transport duck billed platypuses from Australia, and penguins and polar bears from the Antarctic, to name a few. "Those must have been some mighty big flying dinosaurs," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "Imagine the look on Noah's face when his sons flew in for a landing with a pair of Hippos strapped to the back of one of them things! Glory to God!"

"The Lord is just amazing," says Creation Scientist, Dr. Jonathan Edwards. "Whenever Atheist scientists make a new find, they think it will hack away at our Christian beliefs. They must get pretty peeved at how sneaky our Lord is, because whenever they unearth something, it only provides more support for the historical accuracy of the Holy Bible And these flying dinosaurs they keep finding are no exception!"

Dr. Edwards explains that it would have been impossible for Noah's sons to travel to the four corners of the earth to areas that were previously inaccessible on foot. "Noah and his sons had to collect two of every single creature on the face of the planet," he says. "We're talking about a big haul here. At first we just attributed it to what Creation Scientists call, the Holy Finger Snapping Theory. That's where God snaps his fingers and just makes it so." Edwards points out that Creation Scientists are still unanimous in attributing the fact that Noah was able to load 100 million plus animals onto a 450 foot ark "in the selfsame day" (Genesis 7:13-14) to the Finger Snapping Theory. In the case of how the animals were collected from remote regions of the world in the first place however, recent archeological finds indicate that Noah's sons were able to tame giant flying dinosaurs and in turn, load them up with food supplies and hitch rides for long trips around the world to China, South America, Australia, Greenland, and the North Pole.

Creation Scientists estimate that since the Earth is only ten-thousand years old, human beings were living among dinosaurs and had plenty of time to tame them. "I would have loved to have been around to see Cain and Abel rolling around in the grass outside the Garden of Eden playing with the pet raptors their father, Adam, gave them for their birthdays," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "What a glorious time that must have been!"

Through tithing donations from Landover Baptist Church members, the Center for Creation Research was able to secure several fossilized remains of flying dinosaurs valued at over $14 million. The remains will be studied exhaustively for evidence of the leather harnessing used to secure Noah's sons for their long transcontinental journeys.

[Miss Maisie]

Re: A question for the learned folk here

That's very interesting, Pastor. But how come those science-folk talk about the vastly different gaps in age in their dating? Are those dating methods deceived by the devil? Are those folk just plain lying?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A question for the learned folk here

That's very interesting, Pastor. But how come those science-folk talk about the vastly different gaps in age in their dating? Are those dating methods deceived by the devil? Are those folk just plain lying?

Well both really. Most of these monkey-worshiping scientists are joos, who as you know take their orders directly from satan. That whole "DNA" and "carbon dating" thing is just pulled right out of their behinds. All made up to make Jesus look bad.

Brother Remy has dealt with this subject extensively. You might want to look through the various threads under this topic.

[Miss Maisie]

Re: A question for the learned folk here

Oh, I had noticed that, sir. He and some witch who kept arguing about dating and all that nonsense she kept claiming. I merely wanted to know what a simple girl like me could tell those people when they talk about those things. I don't have all the education to use the words and wisdom of a professor, being a lady and all.
But thank you, sir, for your patience with me.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: A question for the learned folk here

Oh, I had noticed that, sir. He and some witch who kept arguing about dating and all that nonsense she kept claiming. I merely wanted to know what a simple girl like me could tell those people when they talk about those things. I don't have all the education to use the words and wisdom of a professor, being a lady and all.
But thank you, sir, for your patience with me.

Perhaps Miss Maisie the correct course for a proper Lady like yourself when dealing with the likes of tree bothering, baby eating witches is to tell them "God did it". The reason they go from nice girls in pretty dresses at Sunday service to baby gore covered witches running naked threw the woods is because they start worrying about dates and other such nonsense and their female brains couldn't handle it. Thinking about things too much makes a woman a bit "manish" and you should point that out to ladies who do it.

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: A question for the learned folk here

Hello, I have a bit of a tricky question for y'all. My Momma and Daddy were watching a program on the tv about them dinosaur bones, all of them, that they done dug up over time. They were talking about how they dated them, how old they are and also about these things called neanderthal men, and other moldy old bones which they say show proof of 'evolution'.

Now how come there are those bones? My Daddy says the devil done put them bones there to deceive the faithful and to encourage the wicked. Same with those old so called neanderthingys and 'older human remains. Is that so? Are those bones placed there by the devil? Why would the devil waste time making bones and putting them in places so hard to find?

Well aren't you the inquisitive little sweetheart.

You shouldn't worry your pretty little head over such things. Science, math, and objective thinking are skills tailored to the male gender. We have larger brains for a good reason, Miss. But because you are such a sweetie I am willing to share the knowledge I've been gifted with from the Academy.

Job 40: 15-18
Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox.
Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.

We know that dinosaurs(i.e. Behemoths) existed alongside mankind. The Allied Atheist Agenda invented the concept of carbon dating as a direct attack against morality, order, and justice. We can never let ourselves forget that atheist have no morals and guiltlessly engage in rapes, murders, theft, etc. in the name of "free thought". Because you are a woman and incapable of fully comprehending the illogical nature of the carbon dating theory I will attempt to simplify it for your benefit.

Atheist claim that there are atoms. Hydrogen, the simplest and most basic atom, is supposedly made up of one electron and one proton. All other atoms are supposedly just hydrogens added together. Perhaps you've heard of water being referred to as H2O. This represents one hydrogen atom and two oxygen atoms. For argument's sake we'll just say an oxygen atom is two hydrogens placed together; thus two protons and two electrons.

Here is the problem: Given what we know about atoms, that they are supposedly all made up of the same particles, protons and electrons, it strikes any keen intellect as absurd to state that completely different forms of matter can form out of the same parts. Water and Iron are made of the same material according to atheists.

That is akin to stating that if you put a basketball and a marble together it forms hydrogen, but if you place two basketballs and two marbles together you get oxygen. And to top it all off if you place five basketballs and five marble together you get water. But any rational person can clearly see that they are all still basketballs and marbles no matter how many of them you have or how they are arranged.

On this basis alone one can complete rule out the very possibility of carbon dating. The entire concept of atoms, much less carbon dating, is evidently a hoax designed by atheists to promote homosexuality, lawlessness, and the collapse of civilization.

P.S. Check out this website. They honestly expect us to believe that we and everything around us is mostly made up of empty space.

[zanyzany89]

Re: A question for the learned folk here

why do you call them joos when most religions came from the jewish was jesus not jewish himself

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: A question for the learned folk here

Jesus (Praise Him) is God and the son of God, and a manifestation of the Holy Trinity indivisible.

Now unless you're saying that God is jooish, I don't rightly see how you can suggest Christ is jooish.

Amen

Bathfire E.