Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Brothers and sisters,

Now those of you who know me well know that I am never impressed by the work of those godless zoos and their so-called exhibits.

However, today is different. Those Israelis are at it again, but this time I think that perhaps their idea should be considered for our Creation theme park. The idea: ass-enabled wifi.

Think about it: you can tweet, look up your favorite Bible verse or you simply want to figure out how to make that ass talk, you can do it right from the comfort of your very own ass.

This is potentially revolutionary! I know that I often find myself inspired when riding an ass (occasionally I feel that I have become Balaam!). This is finally a way to spread that joy to the rest of our congregation!

[WWJDnow]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

Those Israelis are at it again, but this time I think that perhaps their idea should be considered for our Creation theme park. The idea: ass-enabled wifi.... I know that I often find myself inspired when riding an ass (occasionally I feel that I have become Balaam!)!

This is an excellent idea, Dr. Ville. In fact, with modern telecommunications technology, why not have a Balaam exhibit where the donkey actually talks, just as it did in the Bible? I can see the slogan now:

COME TALK TO AN ASS AT THE LANDOVER BAPTIST CREATION THEME PARK!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

My grandsons love riding ass. This would indeed be a great addition to our Creation theme park! I have submitted an idea of my own a few years ago, "kill that dog", bit I still have to hear back from them.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

I'm not sure I'd want wi-fi coming out of my ass. What about the risk of infections from the surgery?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

Don't get me wrong here Brothers – I am enamored of this Wi-Fi enabled ass, at least the overall concept. It just strikes me that Wi-Fi is becoming what you would say passé. Sure, I've got one around the house (Wi-Fi that is, not the ass), and everyone is familiar with the heathen Starbucks, but we're really in the age of 4G here, LTE, UMTS, and don't forget Wi-Max.

Coming from the joos, I'm not surprised – they are at least 2,000 years behind the times, Jesus has already come and they missed the boat. We don't call it the "New" Testament for nothing. Ann Coulter is not the only one that thinks the joos need to be perfected.

[Dr. Zaius]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

I don't know what you're talking about, but the Landover zoo already has free wi-fi. You can get it in the cafeteria.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

Do we have to feed it carrots?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

Do we have to feed it carrots?

The wi-fi?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

The wi-fi?

The ass, I think. What good is an ass without a carrot or two inside of it?

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

The ass, I think. What good is an ass without a carrot or two inside of it?

I know my ass just gobbles up carrots one after another. It can't get enough.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

I know my ass just gobbles up carrots one after another. It can't get enough.

My ass can literally swallow three whole carrots at a time, as though it was a suppository!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

I don't have an ass, but Widow Helen does. It prefers a nice, spiny cucumber.



Seems it finds them tasty.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Ass-enabled Wifi: Landover Creation Zoo Idea?

I am pleasantly surprised by the response received for this idea! I will make sure to bring this up with a Pastor within the next week. Think of the possibilities! We will have the highest ass-connectivity in the western hemisphere! Glory!