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I have let slip earlier that we have secured a few dolphins pups which we intend to ship to the Mojave Desert to see if they die. The point being that if evolution worked, and these are creatures that once lived on land, they should retain the wherewithal to exist quite happily in these conditions. As True Scientists, we chose the young ones so that they had not really had a chance to get really used to water – so the results should be accurate, and one in the eye for evilutionists!
So to the trip and the surprise (and Godly) diversions!
PART 1
Our cargo was 10 dolphin calves. The mothers were left behind in the Landover Aquarium and Sea Life World to act as the controls in the experiment.
The calves are a lot heavier than you would think and they are slippery little devils, wriggling all the time. After 2 or 3 were dropped on the way to the choppers, we eventually found that the best way to get them to the crafts was to drag them by the tail. Once aboard, 2 per aircraft, they were bound up with baling twine and secured to various parts of the choppers.
We took off at dawn in 5 of the UH-60 Blackhawks of The Landover Security Force (Photo) and headed southwest. Ahead of me was Nephew Zebulun in the lead craft, co-piloted by his personal assistant Miss Honey Chevrolet.
With the long-range fuel tanks, we didn’t have to put down for over 3 hours and by that time we were over Lane County, Kansas. The calves were looking a bit peaky, so we put down and bought a couple of stone of Purina fish-flavor cat chow and fed them. The result was an unholy mess over the deep-pile carpets. [Hint – if you intend transporting dolphins by air, cat-chow probably isn’t the best idea.]
Once refueled, we set off SW again. I was surprised to see that we crossed into New Mexico and headed south to Santa Fe, an area heavily infested by Catliks. All weapons were taken off safety and I was regretting the decision not to keep in Colorado. Worse was to come.
Over the Radio Zebulun’s disembodied voice announce “Operation Apocalypse commences!” Immediately, we dropped to 100 foot. I called to the pilot to see what was happening, he replied, “We’re heading for The Church of St Mary of The Bleeding Heart.”
(If anyone had told me when I was 5 years old, that I would be flying in a helicopter with two baby dolphins to a Catlik church, I’d have said they were possessed by demons.)
Our ‘hawk did a rece of the church (Photo) and then rejoined the main group. Zebulun then gave the order “Music!” and, perfectly timed as the congregation were out in front of the church, all 5 choppers came in over the rooftops with loudspeakers blaring out “My Country,‘Tis of Thee.” Ha! You should have seen the minions of the antichrist scatter and run, their false faith destroyed! Glory! (Just try and stop yourself screaming “YeeeHaaaw!)
But the day was not over, and we flew west to St Xavier’s School of The Holy Sepulchre, where we witnessed the chopper from Colorado’s Trinity Baptist Church bombing the pupils with Chick Tracts (Photo). Praise!
An unfortunate consequence of the event was that one of the dolphins fell out of Blackhawk number 2. If anyone finds the body, it will be quite edible for the next few days, and very nice with Tuna. (Have you noticed how hard it is to get Tuna with Dolphin nowadays? It’s much better than the plain stuff.)
So to the trip and the surprise (and Godly) diversions!
PART 1
Our cargo was 10 dolphin calves. The mothers were left behind in the Landover Aquarium and Sea Life World to act as the controls in the experiment.
The calves are a lot heavier than you would think and they are slippery little devils, wriggling all the time. After 2 or 3 were dropped on the way to the choppers, we eventually found that the best way to get them to the crafts was to drag them by the tail. Once aboard, 2 per aircraft, they were bound up with baling twine and secured to various parts of the choppers.
We took off at dawn in 5 of the UH-60 Blackhawks of The Landover Security Force (Photo) and headed southwest. Ahead of me was Nephew Zebulun in the lead craft, co-piloted by his personal assistant Miss Honey Chevrolet.
With the long-range fuel tanks, we didn’t have to put down for over 3 hours and by that time we were over Lane County, Kansas. The calves were looking a bit peaky, so we put down and bought a couple of stone of Purina fish-flavor cat chow and fed them. The result was an unholy mess over the deep-pile carpets. [Hint – if you intend transporting dolphins by air, cat-chow probably isn’t the best idea.]
Once refueled, we set off SW again. I was surprised to see that we crossed into New Mexico and headed south to Santa Fe, an area heavily infested by Catliks. All weapons were taken off safety and I was regretting the decision not to keep in Colorado. Worse was to come.
Over the Radio Zebulun’s disembodied voice announce “Operation Apocalypse commences!” Immediately, we dropped to 100 foot. I called to the pilot to see what was happening, he replied, “We’re heading for The Church of St Mary of The Bleeding Heart.”
(If anyone had told me when I was 5 years old, that I would be flying in a helicopter with two baby dolphins to a Catlik church, I’d have said they were possessed by demons.)
Our ‘hawk did a rece of the church (Photo) and then rejoined the main group. Zebulun then gave the order “Music!” and, perfectly timed as the congregation were out in front of the church, all 5 choppers came in over the rooftops with loudspeakers blaring out “My Country,‘Tis of Thee.” Ha! You should have seen the minions of the antichrist scatter and run, their false faith destroyed! Glory! (Just try and stop yourself screaming “YeeeHaaaw!)
But the day was not over, and we flew west to St Xavier’s School of The Holy Sepulchre, where we witnessed the chopper from Colorado’s Trinity Baptist Church bombing the pupils with Chick Tracts (Photo). Praise!
An unfortunate consequence of the event was that one of the dolphins fell out of Blackhawk number 2. If anyone finds the body, it will be quite edible for the next few days, and very nice with Tuna. (Have you noticed how hard it is to get Tuna with Dolphin nowadays? It’s much better than the plain stuff.)
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