[Attila's Wife]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

Sister Daisy Mae is a shoo-in for the prize, yet again! But - as some would do well to remember - it's not all about winning, it's about taking part. And I assume the rule is still that it has to be all your own work, not the work of the staff?

Sister Basilissa, that is a gorgeous effort, who could resist such a delicious-looking combination of white purity and chocolate!

Ma-of-7, such a wonderful effort from your little one and your boys' antics always make me smile.

One of my great-granddaughters (4) made this, and dusted it with icing-sugar.



I don't know the significance of the bell round the neck. Anyway, she was going to ice it properly when she got back from Bible study for pre-schoolers. Unfortunately, one of her older brothers had other ideas.

As Ma-of-7 so wisely says:

Marzipan can be very difficult to work with.

Poor little Charity was inconsolable, but we are going to have another try tomorrow.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

Poor Charity. Inconsolable and uneducable. Such a terrible combination.


Dear Sisters: I assure you that my entry was 99.9% my work. It amazes me that True Christian(TM) women would balk at the fact that a couple of my employees helped ensure the ears were sticking up straight while I worked on my red velvet cross that bleeds pudding on the kneeling penitents below.


Sister Kate would never speak evil of me - she and I our bound by our love in Jesus (and our appreciation of the many ways aluminum foil can be used). We share tastes in music, Bible verses, and dresses. One day, when she finds the glory of serving Jesus to be consuming her soul like nothing else, I know we will be true sisters in the LORD. Speak not untruths of her, for as we are taught in 1st Corinthians, we will always defend those for whom we feel true love and charity. (1 Corinthians 13)


I have no doubt that our judges will be honest in the selection of the best entry. By the way, exactly whom would that be?


I must get back to my housewarming party for now. Put petty jealousies aside, ladies. I have nothing but love for each of you.


NRL


PS: Oh, my - Basilissa and Heather - did your invitations get lost again?

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

tl; dr

PS: Oh, my - Basilissa and Heather - did your invitations get lost again?

Who knows? Maybe, like me, they never open envelopes with unidentifiable stains on them? Or perhaps, again like me, they had a subsequent engagement?

I hope your party is all that we expect of it, dear. We're certainly having fun here!

Bless you,
AW

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

Who knows? Maybe, like me, they never open envelopes with unidentifiable stains on them? Or perhaps, again like me, they had a subsequent engagement?

I hope your party is all that we expect of it, dear. We're certainly having fun here!

Bless you,
AW

Hun,

It just breaks my heart SO that you aren't here with us. I know your husband would have had to control his natural urges but you would have been the perfect guest - like the other 250 or so that are enjoying a relaxing massage or a cool Christini in the solarium. I wanted very much to welcome you. I am sure we'll get together - sometime.

In CHRIST, my strength, my Savior, my soon-coming King,
NRL

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

I hope your party is all that we expect of it, dear. We're certainly having fun here!

Bless you,
AW

I'm pleased you're having a great time AW, at the party here. So pleased you could fly over for it. But at least ours goes until midnight and everyone knows they'll go home without a rash. Lots of us here, but no riff-raff. Loads to eat and drink. Nothing grandiose - but honestly, who wants all that bling - unlike that Hellywood party around the corner. Some people left that party - complaining that it was full of wannabes, leery old men, and women trying to outdo each other - and decided to come to the one here instead

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

I know your husband would have had to control his natural urges

Why are you so cruel and vicious, even to those few of us who have not yet completely shunned you? You know perfectly well that the only urge that my dear, late husband would have had to control would have been the urge to throw one of your nauseating pies in your face. And, being the perfect gentleman that he was, he would have done so.

But shouldn't you be attending to your imaginary guests, dear?

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

Why are you so cruel and vicious, even to those few of us who have not yet completely shunned you? You know perfectly well that the only urge that my dear, late husband would have had to control would have been the urge to throw one of your nauseating pies in your face. And, being the perfect gentleman that he was, he would have done so.

But shouldn't you be attending to your imaginary guests, dear?

I just ran a check of JesOS, and found someone with administrative powers in that system wrote a message to you that was full of vitriol and hatred. I suspect I know who it was, but I won't mention his name or his rainbow colored avatar. That would be indiscreet.

Oh, my DEAR, KIND, LOVELY Mrs. Attila, accept my apology and the small gift I will be sending by special messenger - your favorite shade of purple in a crinoline nightgown. The DOF is looking into who may have done this. Do tell me we are still loving sisters in He whose temporary death means we shall spend eternity together. I know just how much you look forward to that, sweetheart.

Your friend in HIM,
NRL

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

I just ran a check of JesOS, and found someone with administrative powers in that system wrote a message to you that was full of vitriol and hatred. I suspect I know who it was, but I won't mention his name or his rainbow colored avatar. That would be indiscreet.

Nonsense. You know perfectly well that I was referring to this message on the public forum, in this very thread, and that messages here cannot be "hacked" even by people with the very highest administrative privileges. That would be dishonest - rather like you, in this case.

And how dare you direct semi-veiled insults at Brother Faith Machine, a close personal friend who is even now entertaining us (at Ma-of-7's fabulous soirée) with his witty impersonations of some of the more dried-up and raddled spinsters in the congregation.

Oh, my DEAR, KIND, LOVELY Mrs. Attila, accept my apology and the small gift I will be sending by special messenger - your favorite shade of purple in a crinoline nightgown.

Typical of you to choose such a very vulgar color.

But now I must give my full attention to the party. Mother-of-7's children are about to delight us with a beautifully choreographed pageant illustrating Deuteronomy 23:18. Such a shame you can't be here with us, to benefit from the education.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

Nonsense. You know perfectly well that I was referring to this message on the public forum, in this very thread, and that messages here cannot be "hacked" even by people with the very highest administrative privileges. That would be dishonest - rather like you, in this case.

And how dare you direct semi-veiled insults at Brother Faith Machine, a close personal friend who is even now entertaining us (at Ma-of-7's fabulous soirée) with his witty impersonations of some of the more dried-up and raddled spinsters in the congregation.

Typical of you to choose such a very vulgar color.

But now I must give my full attention to the party. Mother-of-7's children are about to delight us with a beautifully choreographed pageant illustrating Deuteronomy 23:18. Such a shame you can't be here with us, to benefit from the education.

As I have let go of the past, I pray that you will, too.
In Christ,
NRL

[Basilissa]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

Dear Sisters: I assure you that my entry was 99.9% my work. It amazes me that True Christian™ women would balk at the fact that a couple of my employees helped ensure the ears were sticking up straight while I worked on my red velvet cross that bleeds pudding on the kneeling penitents below.

My beloved Sister, I've just seen the picture of that horrifying pagan thing your slaves baked, and I would like to remind you that this is a CHRISTIAN cake contest, and Easter has absolutely nothing to do with some pagan celebration of spring and fertility!

[TaraAnne]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

Sister Daisy Mae, what a beautiful cake! Really, why bother having a contest, when we all know (and it's proven once again) that your skills are absolutely superior!

Sister Mo7, what talented children you have! Maybe one of these cakes will earn your Godly family the second place in this competition!

Sister Tara, what a lovely cake, but where is Jesus on it? I'm afrait it may get disqualified by the judges.

I see that some of you have put a lot of effort into baking these cakes, while some bitter and hateful old maids are bragging about themselves and criticizing others, but are not able to produce an actual entry for the contest.

Well, anyway, I know that my skills are nowhere near those of Daisy Mae, but here it is - my entry:

Sister Basilissa,

I just did not want to offend anyone. During my younger years my father did not allow any images of Jesus. He was very strict on that. So I always just did what he said. I once made a cake with Jesus surrounded by flowers and I got whipped for it. He made me recite Exodus 20:4. I hope you understand my father was very strict and I have a little love scar to prove it! So I just follow Exodus 20:12 and that kept me out of trouble.


Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Exodus 20:12


Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
Exodus 20:4


I did not expect to win there are some pretty cakes here! Plus I can see it is a pretty competitive group

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

Sister Basilissa,

I just did not want to offend anyone. During my younger years my father did not allow any images of Jesus. He was very strict on that. So I always just did what he said. I once made a cake with Jesus surrounded by flowers and I got whipped for it. He made me recite Exodus 20:4. I hope you understand my father was very strict and I have a little love scar to prove it! So I just follow Exodus 20:12 and that kept me out of trouble.


Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Exodus 20:12


Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
Exodus 20:4


I did not expect to win there are some pretty cakes here! Plus I can see it is a pretty competitive group

Dear Tara, your cake is beautiful Unfortunately, there is one disruptive element - a barren old maid, who constantly tries to pit us against each other for her own amusement. Fortunately, it's not working, and we are united, except for her. I hate conflict and disruption. We are all supposed to be working for the greater good - the worship of our Lord, yet we are constantly having to step over this pesky little terrier that keeps biting our heels.

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

My beloved Sister, I've just seen the picture of that horrifying pagan thing your slaves baked, and I would like to remind you that this is a CHRISTIAN cake contest, and Easter has absolutely nothing to do with some pagan celebration of spring and fertility!

Basilissa. It would seem that someone cannot read. At the top of the page in it's only little box is this

Easter is About Jesus - Period! A seasonal forum where we celebrate the true meaning of Easter. No bunnies allowed!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

Ladies,

I hereby withdraw my entry from the competition.

In Jesus,
NRL

[Skyfall]

Re: Easter Bake Off!

What wonderful creations! Praise our Lord!