[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Tell me this - if I gave money to Landover and bought your salvation package, and then went to hell after I died, how exactly would I go about getting my money back?

You would applie to the Church Office for a refund, they would then confirm your denial of Salvation with The Almighty and your account would be refunded.

You see, we all ready have that covered.

I would like to add that in the 385 years Landover has been ministering to the world we have never been asked to give a refund to one of our members.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

You would applie to the Church Office for a refund, they would then confirm your denial of Salvation with The Almighty and your account would be refunded.

You see, we all ready have that covered.

I would like to add that in the 385 years Landover has been ministering to the world we have never been asked to give a refund to one of our members.

And how would a dead person file an application for a refund?
And how would LBC gain access to the Almighty's Big Book of Who's Who in Heaven?

[Deaner]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

And how would a dead person file an application for a refund?
And how would LBC gain access to the Almighty's Big Book of Who's Who in Heaven?

With Jesus all things are possible. That's the single most thing you seem to have difficulty understanding.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

With Jesus all things are possible. That's the single most thing you seem to have difficulty understanding.

I think I'll just go ahead and buy that ticket to Disneyworld.

[G-Baby]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

I think I'll just go ahead and buy that ticket to Disneyworld.

Yeah, I would do the same...
There is no chance that either God or Satan will urinate on me They aren't there xD

And how does anybody of LBC knows that if you die and go to hell you can go to heaven by just buying a Salvation Pack. Did anybody came back to tell it to you? So who is the one who believes in zombies and undead people...

[WickedWitch]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

You know, I once, rather subtly, suggested that LBC might be a cult; waaay back when I was You Disgust Me. I listed all the warning signs one sees in a cult, and then someone said something that to this very day still makes me laugh: "You're right Alie! The Democratic Party is a CULT! And Ted Kennedy is poised, like a drunken walrus on roller skates, ready to lead us into Armageddon!"

*Sighs* I love OEJ.

What was the purpose of this post?? *Shrugs* Oh well, it's here now.

[Deaner]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

And how does anybody of LBC knows that if you die and go to hell you can go to heaven by just buying a Salvation Pack.

Retard. Do you have any confirmed reports of when it didn't work?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

You know, I once, rather subtly, suggested that LBC might be a cult; waaay back when I was You Disgust Me. I listed all the warning signs one sees in a cult, and then someone said something that to this very day still makes me laugh: "You're right Alie! The Democratic Party is a CULT! And Ted Kennedy is poised, like a drunken walrus on roller skates, ready to lead us into Armageddon!"

*Sighs* I love OEJ.

What was the purpose of this post?? *Shrugs* Oh well, it's here now.

So you back to reclaim the soul of Aethereal/Denis? He claims to have escaped your spell and turned to Christianity, but no one belives him so I expect we will find the dried husk of his body soon.

[G-Baby]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Retard. Do you have any confirmed reports of when it didn't work?

Why are you ignoring my question?
Yes, you know why? Because there is no heaven and there is no hell. So nobody could go to hell and then pay off his "crimes" to go to heaven, because those things don't exist. If you would think critically, you would know that too.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

So you back to reclaim the soul of Aethereal/Denis? I don't deal in souls. I'm much more interested in the bodies that house them. *Winks* He claims to have escaped your spell and turned to Christianity, but no one belives him so I expect we will find the dried husk of his body soon.

Are you implying that I'm a soul-sucker? I don't appreciate that, you know. And it's just not true; I don't suck souls... And besides, I wouldn't hurt dear Daniel, he's one of my own now.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Are you implying that I'm a soul-sucker? I don't appreciate that, you know. And it's just not true; I don't suck souls... And besides, I wouldn't hurt dear Daniel, he's one of my own now.

Well what ever you wickers do with your' guy types, what do you call them drones? Dance around with their flayed skins, bite his head off or something. Anyway Daniel is acting up so you probably need to yank his leash or what not.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Well what ever you wickers do with your' guy types, what do you call them drones? Yes. Drones. Dance around with their flayed skins, bite his head off or something. I don't skin my Drones, nor do I bite off their heads. They're my toys, and I play with them. A little roughly sometimes, but hardly enough to cause permanent damage. Anyway Daniel is acting up so you probably need to yank his leash or what not.

He certainly does have spirit, doesn't he? I rather like him that way. I'm going to let him act out for a while more and see what comes of it. If he gets too out of control, I'll remind him of his place. Don't worry, Booby-Joe, I'm quite in control of the situation.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

I'm much more interested in the bodies that house them. *Winks*

Are you implying that I'm a soul-sucker? I don't appreciate that, you know. And it's just not true; I don't suck souls...

Whoa!
I bet I know just what Alie is needing right about now..

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Whoa!
I bet I know just what Alie is needing right about now..

Me too. An apron and a mop and pail of soapy water. Maybe a scrub brush too.

Same with you, VanLardbutt...

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Me too. An apron and a mop and pail of soapy water. Maybe a scrub brush too.

Same with you, VanLardbutt...

I bet I know what you need too, Zeke!