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  • Wu Ling
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Oct 2006
    • 12

    #16
    Re: And I had thought I saw it all

    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
    You aren't by any chance the owner of that restaurant that cooks kittens, are you???
    I do not have restaurant but cat is great delicacy in China but must be prepared properly. Chinese people demand food that is fresh not like american who eat burger moths old. Live cat must be thrown into boiling water and left to almost stop struggling then put in cold water and skinned soon as possible while still a little bit alive. Then can be chopped up eaten. Chinese restaurants always provied cat for Chinese but don';t tell torist. Cat and dog good food just like pig cow and other animal aninmal like vegetabele to be eaten. Only silly westerner think not.

    Comment

    • Wu Ling
      Unsaved trash
      Under Investigation
      • Oct 2006
      • 12

      #17
      Re: And I had thought I saw it all

      Originally posted by Sister Talitha View Post
      Listen you yellow slanty eyed Gook, we at Landover ARE NOT RACIST!

      For your information, Jesus© died, yes, he died for OUR Sins but only temporarily.
      All you slants are going to get trashed when he does come back for not following the word of our Lord and Saviour™.

      Now leave the poor Kitty's alone and start eating some real food. Burgers and Donuts will do for a start. Buy yourself a Bible(KJV1611) and read it before Jesus© gets real mad!
      Burgers ad donuts bad food make westerners ill and fat. american burger hardly any meat just fat. Cat good proteing and lean meat. All you round eyes get fatter all teh time and lazier. Chinese and India economies grow faster than american. China once rule the world and will to again.

      Comment

      • Wu Ling
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • Oct 2006
        • 12

        #18
        Re: And I had thought I saw it all

        Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
        LANDOVER DOES ~NOT~ TOLERATE RACISM, YOU DUMB SWEDE!
        Who you call dumb swede mr Pastor? Westerners are vegetabell head not Asian people who are intelligent an can do math.

        Comment

        • robert12345
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Oct 2006
          • 69

          #19
          Re: And I had thought I saw it all

          Burgers ad donuts bad food make westerners ill and fat. american burger hardly any meat just fat. Cat good proteing and lean meat. All you round eyes get fatter all teh time and lazier. Chinese and India economies grow faster than american. China once rule the world and will to again.
          And when exactly has your "country" ruled the world? And I don't mean ruled by exporting rice and nuddels all over the GLOBE. If I'm not wrong it was Marco Polo who firs introduced you "culture" to Europe.

          Perhaps you meant Mongolia, country you built that wall of yours against. But they never ruled the World. Only few imperial forces got near, Britain or France for instance. But today, it's America who runs the world. True.

          I know that Indians and Chinese breed like mice, so there is a chance you'll populate the entire world, but that's not ruling. That's only stealing pies.

          You may have fancy fireworks and nice skyscrapers but it's still communism. You're just another country where Marx's wonderful ideas were exploited by selfish rulers.

          Enjoy your stay.

          Comment

          • Pastor Al E Pistle
            Christ's Cōnsiliārius
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 9323

            #20
            Re: And I had thought I saw it all

            Originally posted by Wu Ling View Post
            Who you call dumb swede mr Pastor? Westerners are vegetabell head not Asian people who are intelligent an can do math.
            Yes, I know all about it. I paid a thousand US dollars for my chink housekeeper, Ching Lee, and I was ripped off by her parents who sold me bad goods. SHE WON'T WORK. All she does is yap on a cellphone all day in that heathen language and sass me when I tell her to do something! Last week I caught her watching some disgusting HELLYwood TV show full of homers instead of the Christian Broadcasting network!

            "Don't watch that trash, you yellow heathen!", I yelled. "It's full of homers".

            "Aaya Pasture Puddle (the dumb chinee cannot prounounce my name ) prancing boy cute, like sister-o."

            "Homers are not like your SISTEERO, you yellow monkey!" Would YOU like Michael Jackson in YOUR bathroom?"

            "Mikuru Jackson haba plenty makeup! Not riku me, Pastur Oldu Cheap-a-skate, you!"

            "Why you sassy chink, I'll horsewhip you in a minute for your impertinence!"

            "Hoosuwhip THIS (makes disgusting Italian hand gesture) old numbah ten coot, I say so!"

            By the time I got back with my whip she had disappeared in the Mercedes. Damn all chinks!
            Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
            "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
            Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


            Comment

            • Hushed_Agony
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Sep 2006
              • 105

              #21
              Re: And I had thought I saw it all

              Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
              Yes, I know all about it. I paid a thousand US dollars for my chink housekeeper, Ching Lee, and I was ripped off by her parents who sold me bad goods. SHE WON'T WORK. All she does is yap on a cellphone all day in that heathen language and sass me when I tell her to do something! Last week I caught her watching some disgusting HELLYwood TV show full of homers instead of the Christian Broadcasting network!

              "Don't watch that trash, you yellow heathen!", I yelled. "It's full of homers".

              "Aaya Pasture Puddle (the dumb chinee cannot prounounce my name ) prancing boy cute, like sister-o."

              "Homers are not like your SISTEERO, you yellow monkey!" Would YOU like Michael Jackson in YOUR bathroom?"

              "Mikuru Jackson haba plenty makeup! Not riku me, Pastur Oldu Cheap-a-skate, you!"

              "Why you sassy chink, I'll horsewhip you in a minute for your impertinence!"

              "Hoosuwhip THIS (makes disgusting Italian hand gesture) old numbah ten coot, I say so!"

              By the time I got back with my whip she had disappeared in the Mercedes. Damn all chinks!

              Pastor Pistle,
              If I may suggest, during my days of heathenism, I acquired a assortment of many types of whips. If one such chink would return, I would be happy to lend these (now whips of our Saviour) to you if you would like. They vary from a slight "tickle" to "make you stand up and shout your love and adoration for our Saviour Jesus Christ!" These are now collecting dust in my home and are ready actually for the auction block if anyone is interested.

              I do hope that your housekeeper does return, that you may show her the hand of (whip too) Our Saviour. They need some kind of sense whipped into them. Everyone around here talks about having one, I am goin' to have to get me one.
              And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

              Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
              Pslams 51:7

              Comment

              • Brother V
                True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 3481

                #22
                Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                Originally posted by Hushed_Agony View Post
                Pastor Pistle,
                If I may suggest, during my days of heathenism, I acquired a assortment of many types of whips. If one such chink would return, I would be happy to lend these (now whips of our Saviour) to you if you would like. They vary from a slight "tickle" to "make you stand up and shout your love and adoration for our Saviour Jesus Christ!" These are now collecting dust in my home and are ready actually for the auction block if anyone is interested.

                Friend, Jesus can make his own whips!

                John 2:15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;

                And he takes as good as he gives.

                John 19:1 Then Pilate therefore took Jesus, and scourged him.

                Praise Jesus, He's a doer of the Word... well, He's the Word, and He's Him, so He's a doer of Himself.

                Praise Jesus!!!

                YIC
                V
                Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

                Comment

                • Hushed_Agony
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 105

                  #23
                  Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                  Originally posted by Brother V View Post
                  Friend, Jesus can make his own whips!

                  John 2:15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;

                  And he takes as good as he gives.

                  John 19:1 Then Pilate therefore took Jesus, and scourged him.

                  Praise Jesus, He's a doer of the Word... well, He's the Word, and He's Him, so He's a doer of Himself.

                  Praise Jesus!!!

                  YIC
                  V

                  Thank you Brother V, I am still being taught the Word of Our Saviour daily, through the book and from God's Favorite Forum. I am still not wise to the ways of our Lord, but am makin' my way towards His ways.

                  Praise Jesus!!!!!!

                  Hushed
                  And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

                  Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
                  Pslams 51:7

                  Comment

                  • hellion
                    Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                    • Nov 2006
                    • 564

                    #24
                    Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                    Originally posted by Hushed_Agony View Post
                    Jesus joins MySpace
                    Jesus Christ has joined MySpace with an online page advertising his love of beards, extreme water-skiing and the Life of Brian.
                    it's part of a campaign by the Churches' Advertising Network to provoke debate about God among young people this Christmas.
                    Posters showing the face of Jesus in beer foam in a pint glass will be accompanied by the question: "Where will you find him?"
                    The adverts will direct readers to myspace.com/isthisjesus - a page on the social networking site MySpace.
                    "It may be very arrogant to set up Jesus's MySpace," said Simon Jenkins, of Churches' Advertising Network. "But it is a voyage of exploration. Let's hope God is guiding it in the right direction.
                    "MySpace is hugely culturally significant. It is the place where young people are most likely to meet up and we need to go to our audience."
                    The charity, which has teetotal Salvation Army representatives and Methodists as well as members of the Church of England, denied that the pint-glass posters would encourage drinking.
                    Tony Miles, a Methodist minister, said: "Binge-drinking is a huge problem but this is an image that young people are familiar with and is meant to illustrate that you find God in unexpected places."
                    The group, which has no formal links with the Roman Catholic Church or the Church of England, has ruffled feathers in previous years by depicting Jesus as Che Guevara.
                    It has also portrayed the Last Supper as a boardroom meeting of multinational companies, with Judas as Microsoft.

                    I thinks that Satan may have a hand in this. Your thoughts?
                    Oh yeah, sorry, that was me...
                    "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                    Moderatio est Figmentum

                    Comment

                    • Mrs. Rogers
                      compassion personified
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 2692

                      #25
                      Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                      Originally posted by hellion View Post
                      Oh yeah, sorry, that was me...
                      Thank you for that sterling contribution, young witless wonder. Please be careful; your Dark Master doesn't take kindly to his infernal name being bandied about by the Angsty and the Acne-riddled, and will pop your pimply head the moment you are tossed into Hell.

                      I will pray for you, dear.
                      True Christians are Perfect!

                      Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                      Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                      For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

                      Comment

                      • Enobarbus
                        Professor of English Landover University
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 3496

                        #26
                        Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                        Originally posted by hellion View Post
                        Oh yeah, sorry, that was me...
                        Be serious please, or we may have to look at wether your account's status shouldn't be restricted.
                        Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                        Comment

                        • hellion
                          Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                          • Nov 2006
                          • 564

                          #27
                          Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                          Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                          Thank you for that sterling contribution, young witless wonder. Please be careful; your Dark Master doesn't take kindly to his infernal name being bandied about by the Angsty and the Acne-riddled, and will pop your pimply head the moment you are tossed into Hell.

                          I will pray for you, dear.
                          You'll pray for me? Don't bother. Or I'll curse you with that brand new invoke Satan ritual I got. Mwahahahaha (saracasm)
                          "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                          Moderatio est Figmentum

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 78556

                            #28
                            Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                            Originally posted by hellion View Post
                            You'll pray for me? Don't bother. Or I'll curse you with that brand new invoke Satan ritual I got. Mwahahahaha (saracasm)
                            Spew all the hatred toward God that you like, you empty-headed female. Do you think that you are the first fool to come stumbling in to God's favorite forum intending to mock Jesus and persecute us?

                            Think about it like this: Jesus has called you here for a reason. Get on your knees and beg Him to accept your perverted life.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • hellion
                              Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                              • Nov 2006
                              • 564

                              #29
                              Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              Spew all the hatred toward God that you like, you empty-headed female. Do you think that you are the first fool to come stumbling in to God's favorite forum intending to mock Jesus and persecute us?

                              Think about it like this: Jesus has called you here for a reason. Get on your knees and beg Him to accept your perverted life.
                              Why would I bow to someone that doesn't even exist? I wouldn't even bow to a person that does exist because it insults my dignity. And all the people (even Christians) that I know think that your forum is retarded, sexist, illegal, and well...just a bunch of moronic cultists who think they know everything...
                              "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                              Moderatio est Figmentum

                              Comment

                              • Pastor Al E Pistle
                                Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                                 
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 9323

                                #30
                                Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                                Originally posted by hellion View Post
                                Why would I bow to someone that doesn't even exist?

                                Because He will kill you if you don't.

                                I wouldn't even bow to a person that does exist because it insults my dignity.

                                Trashmouths like you have no dignity. Only reputations.


                                And all the people (even Christians) that I know think that your forum is retarded, sexist, illegal, and well...just a bunch of moronic cultists who think they know everything...
                                No worries. We will find them one by one and change their minds.
                                Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                                "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                                Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                                Comment

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