PLEASE! SAVE ME!

[dingo minors]

Please, LBC I come to you groveling on my hands and knees. Please, save me from my satanic, evil, gothic lifestyle. The first step is admitting I have a problem... I'm there! What can I do to change it? Please, Help me bring Jesus into my life!

[dingo minors]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

As you say, not worshipping god Is satanic...so I obviously have accepted satan into my life. Please, show me the way to god. What do I need to do?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

As you say, not worshipping god Is satanic...so I obviously have accepted satan into my life. Please, show me the way to god. What do I need to do?

You see the pay pal button at the bottom of this webpage? Show Jesus you love Him A LOT.

[dingo minors]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

Actually, Now that i've thought more on it, I still like the idea too much of just exploring the worlds of religion still. Sorry. I was thinking really hard on it, though.

[StreetPreacherLew]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

As you say, not worshipping god Is satanic...so I obviously have accepted satan into my life. Please, show me the way to god. What do I need to do?

First, you need to capitalize God.

Second, you need to stop cutting yourself with dull razors "just so you can prove that you "feel"". Use a sharp one. Up the tracks, not across.

Third, get on your knees and pray to JESUS. Have the Lord cc: us on the Salvation Confirmation.

[Bob4God]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

Now that you've admitted that you're an unsaved piece of garbage at the foot of the cross, now you can ask our loving savior into your heart.

Simply read this prayer to JESUS:

"Dear JESUS in Heaven,

Please forgive me for being a lustful, lying, cheating, vain, idolotrous, sexually perverted, heathenistic, lost sheep. Please, come into my life and change my heart. Do away with my old aspirations, dreams, and thoughts, my temptations to rely on myself and other humans to solve my own problems, and cope with life and death. Please help me replace these sinful humanstic tendencies towards self-reliance with the faith I need to know that you have my whole life in your hands now, and will always work things out according to your will, not mine, for the best. You are my saviour, you are just, and I know that you love me. Please guide me in your way, so that I may one day sit on your righthand side in the Kingdom in Heaven.

In your precious name, I pray."

[StreetPreacherLew]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

I'm just wondering...who's sitting on Jesus' left hand side?

[Bob4God]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

Matthew 25:33 says that the unsaved will be on the left of GOD in the judgement.

Also of interest: The democrats and liberals are considered the left-wing. Coincidence?

[dingo minors]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

I don't really like cutting myself, that's not for me, but I'm glad your worried about me! Thanks for trying to save me anyway.

[snottyduck]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

Please, save me from my satanic, evil, gothic lifestyle.

So, you claim to be a Satanic Goth?? That's a rare breed. Tell me how you became a Goth?? Did you became Goth first or Satanist first?? I'm rather curious about it, I'm a Goth myself (although not satanic nor evil) so I would like to know why you became a Goth in the first place. Enlighten me.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

So, you claim to be a Satanic Goth?? That's a rare breed. Tell me how you became a Goth?? Did you became Goth first or Satanist first?? I'm rather curious about it, I'm a Goth myself (although not satanic nor evil) so I would like to know why you became a Goth in the first place. Enlighten me.

Chances are that he did it because his friend did it - much the same as you.

[ExGay Alex]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

The fact that you are on your knees is a good start. I have a certain amount of experience converting gays I find in the parks of Moscow to a straight lifestyle through bringing them to my apartment, laying on hands and casting out and rebuking their demons in the name of Jesus. You are attracted to Goth because you are attracted to weakwristed young men (or you are one). So, if you are having homersexual thoughts, let me know and I will help you, or better yet, send me your picture so I can pray over it. (Unless you are a girl, in which case I am not sure I can help).


What a thrill it is to be a child of God and to help the lost sheep of the world. 2 Corinthians 5:20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God.

[snottyduck]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

Chances are that he did it because his friend did it - much the same as you.

Wrong, When I became Goth, it was because I was sitting around in my bedroom sniffing glue, when Satan appeared to me and told me to strap on a gas mask and waste my life in the most pointless fashion imaginable. Being a blithering imbecile, I obeyed his every word.


PS: You think I have friends?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

Wrong, When I became Goth, it was because I was sitting around in my bedroom sniffing glue, when Satan appeared to me and told me to strap on a gas mask and waste my life in the most pointless fashion imaginable. Being a blithering imbecile, I obeyed his every word.


PS: You think I have friends?

Mr. Duck, I'm glad to see you finally coming clean. It truly warms my heart to read your words which demonstrate that you finally realize that you, like all unsaved humans, are wasting your life as a blithering imbecile.

Don't you want to smarten up? I think you do.

Why not try something new . . . listening to Jesus! His words can be found in the Bible. It's truly the only book you need!

Close your mind, S. Duck, and open your heart. Let Jesus guide you, instead of that ridiculous "rational thought" nonsense. That's how Satan gets you!!

When you , Satan says

[GOD ISNT REAL (Quarantined)]

Re: PLEASE! SAVE ME!

Your clearly just an attention seeking prat.. still its better than being a biggoted narrow minded bible nut


<---lulz