[jordannewton]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

They are not proofs in any objective sense. Are you twelve?

YIC

Prove god exists. No, I am not 12.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Prove god exists. No, I am not 12.

The evidence is in the Bible. Would it be too much to ask for you to read it before mocking our most cherished beliefs?

What if I started criticising Choujin Densetsu Urotsukidouji? How would you like that?

Prove you are not some know nothing punk kid.

YIC

[Des]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

A Jew is any person whose mother was a Jew.
Mary was Jewish.
You may have grounds to say he was not a practising Jew, but he was still a Jew, sort of like Woody Alan or Ayn Rand.

So you're saying that if a couple decide to offend God by converting to Judaism, their children will magically develop filthy Jew blood just because the mother is a practicing Jew. What are you, some kind of sick racist?

[WWJDnow]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Here are 50 simple proofs

Thanks for this excellent list of 50 simple proofs that True Christian™ belief is true:

Try praying -- that's what makes me the awesome person I am today
Statistically analyze prayer -- 100% of my prayers come true if they reflect God's will
Look at all historical gods -- demons, every one
Think about science -- I don't trust liars who claim the Earth is warming
Read the Bible -- AMEN!
Ponder God's plan -- God made an entire Universe, in exquisite detail down to each individual blade of grass, just for us Christians. Shout glory!
Understand religious delusion -- yes, Muslims are strange
Think about Near Death Experiences -- especially the ones where the people come back from Hell!
Understand ambiguity -- that's pretty straightforward
Watch the offering plate -- that's what Landover Baptist Deacons are for
Notice that there is no scientific evidence -- what need does God have for scientific evidence?
See the magic -- then kill the witch performing it
Take a look at slavery -- it's about time we brought it back, as the Bible commands
Examine Jesus' miracles -- pretty awesome
Examine Jesus' resurrection -- even more awesome
Contemplate the contradictions -- what contradictions?
Think about Leprechauns -- demons, every one
Imagine heaven -- just as the Bible described it
Notice that you ignore Jesus -- I don't think so
Notice your church -- best damned Church money can buy
Understand Jesus' core message -- Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division. Luke 12:51
Count all the people God wants to murder -- I added one to the total for you
Listen to the Doxology -- wasn't it wonderful of God to give this too us? God is awesome!
Ask why religion causes so many problems -- because most people follow the wrong ones
Understand evolution and abiogenesis -- lies created by East Coast liberals
Notice that the Bible's author is not "all-knowing" -- that's true, for Catholic translations
Think about life after death -- I do, brother, I do
Notice how many gods you reject -- demons, every one
Think about communion -- disgusting, cannibalistic Catholic idolatry
Examine God's sexism -- where do you think our sexism comes from
Understand that religion is superstition -- yes, other religions are superstitious
Talk to a theologian -- that's what Landover Baptist Pastors are for
Contemplate the crucifixion -- I do, brother, I do
Examine your health insurance policy -- mine isn't a Government-controlled handout with death panels
Notice Jesus' myopia -- Jesus didn't wear glasses
Realize that God is impossible -- and yet, there He is, in all His glory
Think about DNA -- lies created by East Coast liberal elites
Contemplate the divorce rate among Christians -- True Christian™ women obey their husbands, so they would never get divorced
Realize that Jesus was a jerk -- He had a lot on his mind
Understand Christian motivations -- to stamp out sin
Flip a coin -- heads God wins, tails the Devil loses
Listen when "God talks" -- I do, brother, I do
Realize that a "hidden God" is impossible -- and yet, there He is, hiding in all His glory
Think about a Christian housewife -- obedient women are the best
Consider Noah's Ark -- as soon as we find it, you atheists will be eating crow
Ponder Pascal's Wager -- not to shabby an argument for a Catholic
Contemplate Creation -- pretty awesome
Compare prayer to a lucky horseshoe -- horseshoes aren't lucky, unless you pray for them to be lucky first
Look at who speaks for God -- that's what our Landover Pastors are for
Ask Jesus to appear -- Jesus is a busy guy, and, anyway, He'll be here soon enough
Bonus!

Compare God and Baal -- Creator of the Universe and a demon
Watch your Minister, Pastor or Priest -- best people on the planet
Think about Marriage in the Bible -- between a man and one or more women

[Des]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Flip a coin -- heads, God wins! Tails, Satan loses! Glory!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

These pasta freaks seem to like thought experiments, so let's vape » »

No I wouldn't, but if for example I was researching The Menominee for example it would be valid to go to the Menominee to find out how they define themselves.

. . .1
BMW
Jaguar
Mercedes Benz
Porsche
Aston Martin
Select any 1 from the above list (to be renewed annually with your choice of model)


. . .2
Any $1,500 per week you like


. . .3
Lifetime tax-exempt status


. . .4
Free drugs, alcohol and tobacco


. . .5
Only applies to members of the Alphabet tribe


. . .6
Tick box
I am a member of the Alphabet tribe
I am not a member of the Alphabet tribe
I am not a member of any tribe
OTHER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[Jo Freddie]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

I think I read yours started in Kansas.

I have posted about this before, while The Great Prophet, Bobby Henderson (Pasta Be Upon Him) did indeed write the letter to the Kansas school board in 2005, there is much evidence to show that Pastafarians existed long before that.
There is also evidence that the people of South America knew of Our Lord Noodle in accent times.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

[QUOTE=Ecneis;1009345]The worst false religion....

How about all religion as none of it exists.

It is easy to prove to yourself that God is imaginary. The evidence is all around you. Here are 50 simple proofs:


[Drivel removed]

If God does not exist explain the existence of Noodles, a representation of Our Lord in edible form!

Swashbuckling Pirates are Our Lord Chosen people, lees of them in the world more global warming, another proof of Our Lord Noodle for those whose care to look!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Pastafarianism is the worst false religion! Worse than the joos!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

What is the Hot Dog seller talking about? There is no fence there! Is it imaginary just like Jesus?

[Attila's Wife]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

There should be a special section for the demonic Church of England, which is not so much "liberal" as no less than institutionalised atheism! Or do I mean no more? The very memory of it has fried my use of my own language.

I was raised in that establishment, if you can call it raised. Dragged up might be closer to the truth. Unsaved and monstrous child that I was, I did not believe in God, but did they even care if I burned in Hell? I strongly suspect that these fiends do not even acknowledge the existence of Hell.

I thank Jesus every day for leading me to Landover Baptist and away from the fiery furnace that might otherwise have been my fate.

[robin__24]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Them scientologists win ,bunch of nutjobs.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

There should be a special section for the demonic Church of England, which is not so much "liberal" as no less than institutionalised atheism! Or do I mean no more? The very memory of it has fried my use of my own language.

I was raised in that establishment, if you can call it raised. Dragged up might be closer to the truth. Unsaved and monstrous child that I was, I did not believe in God, but did they even care if I burned in Hell? I strongly suspect that these fiends do not even acknowledge the existence of Hell.

I thank Jesus every day for leading me to Landover Baptist and away from the fiery furnace that might otherwise have been my fate.

Praise Jesus! He can be found in the most depraved human cults!

[Oneofakind]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

I have posted about this before, while The Great Prophet, Bobby Henderson (Pasta Be Upon Him) did indeed write the letter to the Kansas school board in 2005, there is much evidence to show that Pastafarians existed long before that.
There is also evidence that the people of South America knew of Our Lord Noodle in accent times.

Tell me more of this flying spaghetti monster.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Tell me more of this flying spaghetti monster.

You "worship" it by being insane and then get to go to an antiparadise where the air smells like a slops tray and there's all these real dodgy looking characters having fits.