[Levi Jones]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Spaghetti is for gays. Why is our favorite tomato sauce addicted Jo Freddie still not in this thread?

Last I heard, he was being boiled on earth as a warning from God to repent his sins.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the one path to salvation.
You cannot disprove the existance of this divine sentience, therefore it exists.

My body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. Not for defiling with obese making foods such as spaghetti.

1 Corinthians 6:19 9 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

Jeremiah 7:9 Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not;

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Spaghetti facts;
► Your false religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has only been around for 5 years.

I have already covered this

Have a Listen to this

This clearly a Pastafarian Hymn and it originates from 1963 written and originally performed by folk singer Tom Glazer with the Do-Re-Mi Children's Chorus.

The Great Prophet Bobby Henderson was born in 1985 and 20 years later The Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster was relieved to him. Throughout time the FSM has made himself known to many, there are examples of Cave Paintings all around the world that depict him.

Was well as this Hymn The One True God, Blessed be His Noodly Appendages, brought this Forum's Favourite Pastafarian preacher into this world in 1963, I do not think this is any coincidence.

So the answer to the Question "Does Pastafarianism Pre-Date Bobby Henderson?" is most defiantly YES.

► Spaghetti appeared in Italy in the 12 century.

Proof your false religion appeared after Jesus came to earth, and God making the world.

And I covered that too

Oldest Noodles found pre-date that Hippie by at least 2000 years...



October 12, 2005—A 4,000-year-old bowl of noodles unearthed in China is the earliest example ever found of one of the world's most popular foods, scientists reported today. It also suggests an Asian—not Italian—origin for the staple dish.
The beautifully preserved, long, thin yellow noodles were found inside an overturned sealed bowl at the Lajia archaeological site in northwestern China. The bowl was buried under ten feet (three meters) of sediment.
"This is the earliest empirical evidence of noodles ever found," Houyuan Lu of Beijing's Chinese Academy of Sciences said in an e-mail interview.
The scientists determined the noodles were made from two kinds of millet. Modern North American and European noodles are usually made with wheat.
Archaeochemist Patrick McGovern at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia said that if the date for the noodles is correct, the find is "quite amazing."
Even today, he said, deft skills are required to make long, thin noodles like those found at Lajia.
"This shows a fairly high level of food processing and culinary sophistication," he said.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I have already covered this And I covered that too

I was already wondering why you did not post here yet. How is it to be on topic for once?

I wonder if hell has a special section for all these spaghetti worshipers where they will be boiled in tomato sauce for all eternity.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

As I mentioned before, you cannot disprove that spaghetti didn't exist in a form of a supernatural being before the Earth was made, therefore making it irrelevant as for when we feeble humans discovered Spaghetti. jesus appeared in the middle east some centuries ago, are you saying that he didn't exist before then? such blasphemy even within this 'devout board'

There are 2 verses (at least) from KJV1611 that lay the myth of his noolyness

Ti:1:2: In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;

This reveals that (a) God never lies and (b) God was here before the world began and we have written proof about what happened before the Earth was created.

1Ki:14:9: But hast done evil above all that were before thee: for thou hast gone and made thee other gods, and molten images, to provoke me to anger, and hast cast me behind thy back:

This reveals that God knows men will just make up gods without the slightest provocation. (Somehow, these false prophets and deluded fools know what their so-called god looks like and make graven images of them, just like Catlix.)

And what should be done with those gods and their temples?

Deu 12:2 Ye shall utterly destroy all the places, wherein the nations which ye shall possess served their gods, upon the high mountains, and upon the hills, and under every green tree:
Deu 12:3 And ye shall overthrow their altars, and break their pillars, and burn their groves with fire; and ye shall hew down the graven images of their gods, and destroy the names of them out of that place.

Thus we see that God was the first one ever, everything after Him is simply made up. God knew that deluded ones would see the profit and power in religion and try and cash in, so he ordered the destruction of all so called gods for they won't answer your prayers or get you to heaven.

The conclusion can only be that the competition is an inferior product and, if you pay your money to them, you'll go to Hell. This is because God is like the Better Business Bureau and does not want you wasting your wealth when you could give to Him.

I hope this puts an end to all this bickering.

[Levi Jones]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

As I mentioned before, you cannot disprove that spaghetti didn't exist in a form of a supernatural being before the Earth was made,

How dare you mock God with your blasphemies!

Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

I'm sure Jesus will have a special place for you during the rapture for trying to lead man from the True Word of God.

Isaiah 9:17-20 Therefore the LORD shall have no joy in their young men, neither shall have mercy on their fatherless and widows: for every one is an hypocrite and an evildoer, and every mouth speaketh folly. For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still. For wickedness burneth as the fire: it shall devour the briers and thorns, and shall kindle in the thickets of the forest, and they shall mount up like the lifting up of smoke.
Through the wrath of the LORD of hosts is the land darkened, and the people shall be as the fuel of the fire: no man shall spare his brother.
And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm:

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I wonder if hell has a special section for all these spaghetti worshipers where they will be boiled in tomato sauce for all eternity.

Heaven not your non-existent version of Hell is a subject I have covered so many time on this forum, but for those of you who are hard of thinking I will yet again show you what the Most Holy texts have to say on this matter:

REVELATIONS OF ST. JASON

1.8 "Many of the living believe that there is a Heaven for those who are to be rewarded, and a Hell to punish. This is not His way. He gathers all the best and brightest to Him at the Crater. The coolest pirates. The hottest strippers. The sauces there would blast away your mortal mouth. And the beer? Sweet Spaghetti Monster..." Seeing that words had failed him, I turned to the volcano, and looking up saw the top was lost in Alfredo-white clouds. "It is a long walk." I observed. "Not really. This be Heaven, after all." he said. "Well, less so this part, which be the outskirts. As the Flying Spaghetti Monster gathers those most worthy to him, those deserving of heaven inhabit all parts, according to their virtues." "And which virtues are these?" I asked. And Saint James gave me the Second Truth.

1.9 "Any who believe" said St. James "Are saved. There is a spot in Heaven for them. While it is possible to a complete douche bag and still get into Heaven, you will not be invited to the parties, nor on the pillaging crews, nor to swim in the cauldron. Some get over it and knock off the crap. They slowly get accepted further up the mountain. Others accept their place and set about making it better. They quickly find themselves very busy far up the slopes. And others still can't give it up. They find their place down here, and grumble about the beer, and complain about the ugly strippers, yet do nothing to improve their situation. They may spend eternity down here." he explained. "Are they doomed? Will they never partake of the Holy Font of beers? Never taste the Perfect Alfredo? Never set eyes upon the Most Beautiful Strippers?" I asked shocked. "Don't be an ass." said St. James. "They can go wherever they want. This is Heaven, after all! But like in real life, people don't like to hang out with chowder heads. And more and more, those who deserve find themselves accepted for who they are up the slopes, and those who remain without virtue, find themselves accepted farther down." "Ugh." Said I. "It sounds like high school." "It is like high school," replied St. James. "But unlike that flawed copy, in Heaven, you are actually valued by what you are worth, rather then by who you are dating or who is on the football team." "So what are these virtues, then?" I asked. "Oh, sorry. I got sidetracked there." Said St. James. And proceeded to give me the Second Truth for real this time.

An Announcement Regarding the Afterlife

2 It is my contention that a loving God of any kind would not Damn someone to Hell.
3 Darning them to Heck would be a problem for a supposedly intelligent creator.

22 Not a real burning-in type hell, no boiling lakes of fire, just an appropriate 'reward'.
23 No more lunatics and sadists, please.
24 The current administration's quite enough.
25 Other people have other ideas, but then again other people are promoting Holy War, too.
26 Don't do that in the name of our FSM.
27 That's not the Way to Do Things Right.

Muellers I
a letter to the Macaronians

48 The Flying Spaghetti Monster who is Our Lord did not create us that we might simply then be condemned for failing to believe in Him.
49 What kind of crazy scheme is that;
50 to bestow his Creatures with life, then to throw that life he bestowed into eternal torment?
51 That is the way of evil deities, not good ones.
52 Our One Who Flies and is Saucy understands that life among beings with free will, on a planet with natural systems that cause tumult, and Scientifically Intelligently Designed by a deity who is prankish and can be peevish, should not end in eternal misery.
53 That‟s insane.
54 What kind of fool would believe such a being worthy of worship?

[Nobar King]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I'm too tired to read any of this stupid thread, but I suppose if God wanted to dress up on Halloween like a plate of spaghetti, I certainly wouldn't be one to put it past Him. That's only one reason, but who cares? God isn't any kind of flying monster, so the whole point of having a discussion like this is really just a waste of time. You could be eating ice cream or taking a nap instead of wasting your time arguing philosophical nonsense.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I'm too tired to read any of this stupid thread, but I suppose if God wanted to dress up on Halloween like a plate of spaghetti, I certainly wouldn't be one to put it past Him. That's only one reason, but who cares? God isn't any kind of flying monster, so the whole point of having a discussion like this is really just a waste of time. You could be eating ice cream or taking a nap instead of wasting your time arguing philosophical nonsense.

I see you are starting to accept the TRUTH that I speak but a still unable to admit it.

Qwertyuiopasd’s Letter to the Evangelists.

3:3 If you agree with it, believe it, no matter if it comes from the Bible, the Qur‟an, The Buddha, Dave Barry, or any other source imaginable; these are all conduits of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I have already given a logical proof that GOD IS the FSM

Now let us use logic not science.

PROPOSTION 1. The universe exhibits too much structure to have evolved by chance.
CONCLUSION 1. There was a creator.
PROPOSTION 2. All things are subject to the passage of time.
CONCLUSION 2. The processes of the universe were in action over the time period in which it was created.
PROPOSTION 3. Nothing, not even a God, can know the exact outcome of a situation in the universe, Moreover, the uncertainty increases with the time elapsed since the parameters of the situation were known.
CONCLUSION 3. If the creator wished to make the universe precisely as he pleased, then he would need to do it rapidly.
PROPOSTION 4. Any being that would create a universe for his own pleasure is an egotistical maniac.
CONCLUSION 4. The creator was an egotistical maniac.
CONCLUSION 5. Since an egotistical maniac. Would want things done his way, he must have, by C3, made the universe extremely rapidly; in fact as rapidly as possible.
PROPOSTION 5. If a creator could affect more points of space simultaneously, then he could create the structure in the universe more rapidly.
CONCLUSION 6. A creator with more appendages than another could have created the universe more rapidly.
CONCLUSION 7. Since by C5, the creator made the universe as rapidly as possible, he has as many appendages as possible.
PROPOSTION 6. The universe is discrete.
CONCLUSION 8. There is a minimal thickness to the appendages of the creator.
CONCLUSION 9. A creator with thinner appendages can have more of them.
CONCLUSION 10. By C7 and C9, the creator had as many appendages as possible, all of minimal thickness.
CONCLUSION 11. The creator was a Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Proof of Proposition 3

PROPOSTION 7. The creator made us for his pleasure.
PROPOSTION 8. There is no pleasure to be drawn from us if we do not have free will.
CONCLUSION 12. We have free will
PROPOSTION 9. If the universe was premeditated, then we would not have free will.
CONCLUSION 13. The universe is not premeditated.
PROPOSTION 10. The creator set up the initial conditions of the universe.
CONCLUSION 14. By C13, there is uncertainty in the unfolding of the universe.
CONCLUSION 15. As uncertainty on top of uncertainty brings even more uncertainty, as time passes, the level of uncertainty increses.
CONCLUSION 16. Proposition 3 is true.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Hmmmm...

PROPOSTION 4. Any being that would create a universe for his own pleasure is an egotistical maniac.
CONCLUSION 11. The creator was a Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Proof of Prop 3 - PROPOSTION 7. The creator made us for his pleasure.

Final conclusion thus = The FSM is an egotistical maniac.

[Levi Jones]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

No! That's God's Job!



Job 41:31 He maketh the deep to boil like a pot: he maketh the sea like a pot of ointment.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I have already given a logical proof that GOD IS the FSM

I have a picture of your True Followers.

Gay Atheists

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Hmmmm...


Final conclusion thus = The FSM is an egotistical maniac.

Well at least you accept his existence, that is a start, there is hope your you yet brother.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I can only think of 1 Reason why God is not a flying spaghetti monster!


Spaghetti came after the creation of the earth

Of course it did, the FSM had to first provide the ingredients before we could make Pasta. The Good Lord FSM gave us the ingredients to make Pasta and Noodle so we good honour him with a dish that resembles him.

The Holy Noodle

The Third Day: Land and Vegetation
Then the FSM said, “Let the earth bring forth grass, semolina, rice, and whatever else can be turned into food that resembles my Noodly Appendages,” and He saw that this was an original idea, which was certainly good.

The Olive Garden of Eden
That midget, however, was goddamn noisy. The FSM couldn’t deal with all the complaining down on earth, so the Lord FSM commanded the midget, saying, “Here’s an idea . . . why don’t you collect the semolina, rice and what-have-you, and make pasta in my image. That’s what it’s there for. And fill your mouth with it and be quiet and peaceful. But be careful with the olive tree, for the olive itself is good, but the pit inside is rock hard and you could choke on it or break a tooth, so you should consider it as evil; if you choke you shall surely die. Which would mean I wasted a hell of a lot of time on you, although I’m already having second thoughts.”

The Book of Piraticus

Chapter 1
1 And the Flying Spaghetti Monster called unto Pirate Mosey, and spake unto him out of the pirate ship of the crew, saying,
2 Speak unto the children of the seven seas, and say unto them, if any pirate brings an offering unto the FSM, ye shall bring your offering of spaghetti and meatballs or rum and fish head stew.
3 And he shall consume this offering and rejoice for the FSM will be pleased.
4 He shall not burn his offerings as no one could receive its goodness if it‟s ashes.
5 Also, it would smell really bad.
6 Although I guess burning the rum would be pretty cool.
7 But I think it has to be over 100 proof to burn and I dunno if pirates can get their hands on good stuff like that.
8 But if he can, he should go for it, cause it would be pretty sweet and it would please me.