Which golf club should I beat my children with?

[Gary Templeton]

I've always used a nine-iron, as the slanted head digs into the flesh in a way that is very satisfying and causes immense pain. How ever, I've recently been trying the five-iron, which is more flat faced, and it produces a resounding smack which is truly a joyful noise. Which of these clubs do you reccommend, or maybe I should use a different one all together, like the seven-iron? I'm just not sure.

Gary

[Ixi]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I've always used a nine-iron, as the slanted head digs into the flesh in a way that is very satisfying and causes immense pain. How ever, I've recently been trying the five-iron, which is more flat faced, and it produces a resounding smack which is truly a joyful noise. Which of these clubs do you reccommend, or maybe I should use a different one all together, like the seven-iron? I'm just not sure.

Gary

I heard parents that beat thier kids with Bibles, but with GOLF CLUBS? That just shows how sick your religon is.

[Gary Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Well I could say the same thing about yours.. oh wait, ATHIEST is not a religion, just a greased up track to Hell.

[Brother Love]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I never played golf so I never hit my kids with golf clubs. However, I did use a BELT and BIBLE on them and once I used a HOLY baseball bat on my eldest son who had decided as a young man to take a walk down HEATHEN WAY! Now, having kids go to a closet and pray is also good DISCIPLINE if a good whooping isn't in order (but it usually is).

[Gary Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Yes but do be care full, apparently the closet is where many people go before choosing to succum to the homo-sexual life style. At least this is what I am told, I can't be sure since I am not a fag my self!!

Gary

[ProdigalSon]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I've always used a nine-iron, as the slanted head digs into the flesh in a way that is very satisfying and causes immense pain. How ever, I've recently been trying the five-iron, which is more flat faced, and it produces a resounding smack which is truly a joyful noise. Which of these clubs do you reccommend, or maybe I should use a different one all together, like the seven-iron? I'm just not sure.

Gary

As an aspiring True Christian™ , I would never think of impregnating a lady outside of the bonds of holy matrimony. However, when the time comes, I would never think of ruining my expensive lucky golf clubs to correct my child ('beating' is the un-Godly act of savages). I would think a broom handle would suffice in most cases, but perhaps a True Christian™ has a better suggestion?

[Gary Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Spare the rod and you spoil the child! I am sorry if I am offending you, but the bible does clearly state that you should beat your children.

[Gary Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Oh I see what you meant, please dis-regard my post above. But perhaps you could purchase used golf clubs from one of those Hebrew re-sale establishments, they really do make a wonderous sound and are very painful to unruly children.

[ProdigalSon]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Oh I see what you meant, please dis-regard my post above. But perhaps you could purchase used golf clubs from one of those Hebrew re-sale establishments, they really do make a wonderous sound and are very painful to unruly children.

Also, make sure to keep the marks from your 'correction' away from the prying eyes of lie-beral teacher and guidance counselor types, who are all too eager to report you to un-Godly secular authorities. Go for the torso.

[Ixi]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Well I could say the same thing about yours.. oh wait, ATHIEST is not a religion, just a greased up track to Hell.

Excuse me, but I am a proud Pagan. AND, normal sober people don't hit thier kids with golf clubs.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I like a traditional 3 iron with a high launching graphite shaft and oversized grip. I know many of you will claim a 3 iron is harder to hit and that I should consider a hybrid, but I prefer accuracy over distance.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I've always used a nine-iron, as the slanted head digs into the flesh in a way that is very satisfying and causes immense pain. How ever, I've recently been trying the five-iron, which is more flat faced, and it produces a resounding smack which is truly a joyful noise. Which of these clubs do you reccommend, or maybe I should use a different one all together, like the seven-iron? I'm just not sure.

Gary

Such queries are really too silly for this, God's Favorite Forum. The fact that you burden us with such trivial matters among your first posts is rather disappointing, Gary.

The answer should be apparent. Which golf club?

YOUR WIFE'S.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I believe that things should be used for the purpose Jesus intended them for. Golf clubs are for playing golf. Louisville sluggers are for playing baseball.

I am somewhat of am aficionado and collector of various paddles and rods of discipline. Some call me a spanking buff. My father got me interested. And of course Jesus did too.

These are hand made by my grandfather. Family heirlooms.


These are for the serious collector. A paddling they won't soon forget!


If any of you are interested, this is the best paddle enthusiast magazine published. You can order paddles from all over the world.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Those are beautiful. I've tried telling Gary that golf clubs were created specifically so that we could play golf and assert our socioeconomic superiority over the Negro, but years of Popish brainwashing have warped his mind in many ways. I still pray every night for his salvation, and I'm confident that Jesus will welcome him with open arms when the time comes.

[Enobarbus]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Excuse me, but I am a proud Pagan. AND, normal sober people don't hit thier kids with golf clubs.

And if you had been properly thrashed as a young child, you wouldn't have grown up into the heathen demon that you are, ripping Christian Babies' throats out with your teeth, romping in the woods with the horned demon, and sacrificing cats skinned alive to lucifer.