[Enobarbus]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Those are beautiful. I've tried telling Gary that golf clubs were created specifically so that we could play golf and assert our socioeconomic superiority over the Negro, but years of Popish brainwashing have warped his mind in many ways. I still pray every night for his salvation, and I'm confident that Jesus will welcome him with open arms when the time comes.

Wet towels are very useful for younger children in particular, Virginia. They help avoid the outright bruises that can alert liebral school-teachers, etc, to the fact that they are dealing with a True Christian™ child.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Those are beautiful. I've tried telling Gary that golf clubs were created specifically so that we could play golf and assert our socioeconomic superiority over the Negro, but years of Popish brainwashing have warped his mind in many ways. I still pray every night for his salvation, and I'm confident that Jesus will welcome him with open arms when the time comes.

If he doesn't explain to you what the cute username he gave you means, I doubt JESUS is going to have much use for the poor, emasculated boy.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I've always used a nine- blah, blah, blah.

Gary

Dear Gary. From your dom's posts, it appears that you are a girly-man and probably only dream of beating children, you homer! Please don't end sentences on this GODLY board in prepositions, or you will be trashed worse than Virgin Dentures has already accomplished.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I heard parents that beat thier kids with Bibles, but with GOLF CLUBS? That just shows how sick your religon is.

ICKY! These people are obviously Catholics! You KNOW what deviants THEY are! GODLY Christians like ourselves would never hit anyone with a golf club! My God, suppose you bent it?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Excuse me, but I am a proud Pagan.

No way is anyone actually proud of being a Pagan. That's like saying "I am a proud VD-infested negro crackhead." It just doesn't sound plausible, does it?

[hellion]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

And if you had been properly thrashed as a young child, you wouldn't have grown up into the heathen demon that you are, ripping Christian Babies' throats out with your teeth, romping in the woods with the horned demon, and sacrificing cats skinned alive to lucifer.

Eno, 'properly thrashed' children usually grow up to be serial killers or lunatics. After years of being traumatized by their 'loved ones' who are supposed to care for them, they learn to either go on the basic instinct of the human way of thinking, and live only to merely survive. Or they commit suicide in an attempt to free themselves from their terrible way of living. They might turn rebellious and either take their pain and suffering out on their peers, or on their tormentors (i.e. their parents). The older ones usually take up drugs to mentally escape their pain, atleast for awhile that is.

And if they survive their childhood, they usually have to go to therapists on a daily basis, or possibly a mental hospital. They live in constant fear, terrors, nightmares. It makes it increasingly difficult to function in society. Let alone finding a girl/boyfriend. Most abused children grow up to become anti-social.

Beating children causes nothing but pain and suffering for the victim. You're ruining their lives.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Eno, 'properly thrashed' children usually grow up to be serial killers or lunatics. After years of being traumatized by their 'loved ones' who are supposed to care for them, they learn to either go on the basic instinct of the human way of thinking, and live only to merely survive. Or they commit suicide in an attempt to free themselves from their terrible way of living. They might turn rebellious and either take their pain and suffering out on their peers, or on their tormentors (i.e. their parents). The older ones usually take up drugs to mentally escape their pain, atleast for awhile that is.

And if they survive their childhood, they usually have to go to therapists on a daily basis, or possibly a mental hospital. They live in constant fear, terrors, nightmares. It makes it increasingly difficult to function in society. Let alone finding a girl/boyfriend. Most abused children grow up to become anti-social.

Beating children causes nothing but pain and suffering for the victim. You're ruining their lives.

More lies and nonsense. The Bible tells us that WITHHOLDING a beating from a child will ruin their life, and cause them to roast in the flames of hellfire along with you and your sodomite buddies. God commands us to lay on the rod with gusto, not even fearing that the child might die from the beating he or she deserved.

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. -- Proverbs 13:24

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. -- Proverbs 22:15

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. -- Proverbs 23:13-14

Each of us at Landover Baptist Church has been beaten senseless by our loving Christian parents, and as you can see none of us are serial killers or maladjusted in any way. I thank my father each and every day for bringing me to Jesus through the rod of discipline. Too bad that your parents don't care enough about you or Jesus to give you the beatings you so richly deserve.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Each of us at Landover Baptist Church has been beaten senseless by our loving Christian parents, and as you can see none of us are serial killers or maladjusted in any way. I thank my father each and every day for bringing me to Jesus through the rod of discipline. Too bad that your parents don't care enough about you or Jesus to give you the beatings you so richly deserve.

I do believe, Pastor, that little Miss Hellmouth here has taken on the obscenely LIEberal belief that ANY corporal punishment is child abuse.

"My mommy hit my behind, teacher!" "OH NO! Let's call Child Protective Services, and put you in a foster home with a child molesting pervert . . . and HER HUSBAND!" Yes, that's MUCH better! Surely THAT wouldn't ruin the child's life!

There is a tremendous difference between taking corrective action with an unruly child, and beating it the way you would a snarling dog or back-sassing servant! The former is done with love and a belt, or rod, or switch. The latter is done with a baseball bat!

Miss Hellmouth, which do you consider better, giving a child a well-deserved spanking as needed to teach it to behave, or calling the police because the child won't mind (Like that woman with the vile brat called the cops because he kept gaming with his Playboy!), or maybe letting it grow up running wild with Klowns and male Moms, to become a vile harlot, axe murderer, or (Jesus, forgive me) . . . lawyer?

Surely you can understand the need for discipline in a child. Wouldn't you be happier if YOU'D had some discipline in your life? I've no doubt WE would.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I've always used a nine-iron, as the slanted head digs into the flesh in a way that is very satisfying and causes immense pain. How ever, I've recently been trying the five-iron, which is more flat faced, and it produces a resounding smack which is truly a joyful noise. Which of these clubs do you reccommend, or maybe I should use a different one all together, like the seven-iron? I'm just not sure.

Gary

I think I could tell you where to stick that nine iron, but I'm pretty sure you won't like it....actually, no, check that, you might like it a little too much.
Barbarian.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

As a educator, let me provide some information. Children must be beat. It teaches them manners and respect. It also may keep them out of Hell. If you love your child you will be beat it.
However you don't want to kill it! Golf clubs are too much. Fishing poles are more in order, belts, and other things in that class are also fine.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I think I could tell you where to stick that nine iron, but I'm pretty sure you won't like it....actually, no, check that, you might like it a little too much.
Barbarian.

Finally, Mrs. Van Hell'sBells, you admit that only barbarians -- rather than good upstanding Christian folk -- like that sort of thing.

Could you, perhaps, be starting to see The Light(tm)?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I mean 'barbarian' in the following sense:

bar·bar·i·an n

1. A fierce, brutal, or cruel person.

Possibly not the same meaning you had in mind.

[Hushed_Agony]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I was always partial to the wire coat hanger...the thick ones. At least that is what was used in my unruly days. Make sure they are the old thick ones though. The newer mudslime versions are made of cheaper stuff. Plus with a coat hanger, to the untrained eye, it could be just a wrinkle mark from sitting too long. Easier to hide.

YIC
Hushed

[Ixi]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

"My mommy hit my behind, teacher!" "OH NO! Let's call Child Protective Services, and put you in a foster home with a child molesting pervert . . . and HER HUSBAND!" Yes, that's MUCH better! Surely THAT wouldn't ruin the child's life!

There is a tremendous difference between taking corrective action with an unruly child, and beating it the way you would a snarling dog or back-sassing servant! The former is done with love and a belt, or rod, or switch. The latter is done with a baseball bat!

Well you know what? What if the child never got spanked? They wouldn't be put in a foster home in the first place!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Well you know what? What if the child never got spanked? They wouldn't be put in a foster home in the first place!

No, but they'd be sure to end up in Juvenile Hall, or possibly the AIDS ward of a hospital.