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  • MAYATOLA
    Unsaved trash
    • Apr 2009
    • 16

    #61
    Re: Help, my mom is masterbating!

    Originally posted by Non-believing Gurl View Post

    Are you really this sexually backwards?
    Yes, they are. And I never met a man, true Christian or otherwise who didn't lie about masturbation.
    All of these true Christians are sinners, and given their level of arrogance will be fortunate to reach the Kingdom of Heaven.

    Comment

    • angels
      Forum Member, lost in space
      Forum Member
      • Jun 2009
      • 794

      #62
      Re: Help, my mom is masterbating!

      I have to agree.Men do get erections.Men also wouldn't say if they've been whacking off.Come on now,be honest.It's a very private thing isn't it.Would you're men actually come to you and tell you?

      Comment

      • James Hutchins
        True Christian™
        Just a Regular Nice Guy
         
        • Jun 2009
        • 29453

        #63
        Re: Help, my mom is masterbating!

        Originally posted by angels View Post
        I have to agree.Men do get erections.Men also wouldn't say if they've been whacking off.Come on now,be honest.It's a very private thing isn't it.Would you're men actually come to you and tell you?
        It is a sin to spill God's seed for any purpose other than to add to the Lords Soliders. A 'stiffy' must never happen unless for that purpose. My own sons are checked regulary by the Missus to ensure this does not happen. Any child that salutes gets a severe correction. Evey touching a long john at all is wrong. We may miss a lot in the bathroom but it is a price our wives have to pay to retain the purity and wholesome goodness of a True Christian™ life.
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556

          #64
          Re: Help, my mom is masterbating!

          Originally posted by angels View Post
          I have to agree.Men do get erections.Men also wouldn't say if they've been whacking off.Come on now,be honest.It's a very private thing isn't it.Would you're men actually come to you and tell you?
          I don't know what kind of wild animals raised you, but around here Christian girls don't use filthy language like that, nor do they even know about such things!

          If you were my daughter I'd wash your mouth out with lyesoap.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • angels
            Forum Member, lost in space
            Forum Member
            • Jun 2009
            • 794

            #65
            Re: Help, my mom is masterbating!

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            I don't know what kind of wild animals raised you, but around here Christian girls don't use filthy language like that, nor do they even know about such things!

            If you were my daughter I'd wash your mouth out with lyesoap.
            Here we go again.I apologise for any offence caused.Am i going to get another telling off?.
            I have spent the morning working on my attitude,with help from the good Reverend.I'll try harder.

            Comment

            • Rev. Jim Osborne
              True Christian™ Televangelist
              Director of Fundraising and Tithing
              On the Look Out for Wife #6!
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2009
              • 8622

              #66
              Re: Help, my mom is masterbating!

              Originally posted by angels View Post
              Here we go again.I apologise for any offence caused.Am i going to get another telling off?.
              I have spent the morning working on my attitude,with help from the good Reverend.I'll try harder.
              I wonder about the sincerity of your acceptance of Christ. Even after your public proclamation, you continue to talk like a dirty little whore that hangs around the docks. The road to the Kingdom of God is narrow, but the highway to hell is an 8-lane expressway. Keep that in mind.

              Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

              Comment

              • TheLordSavedMe
                A young lady servicing the Lord
                True Christian™
                • Jun 2009
                • 579

                #67
                Re: Help, my gramma is masterbating!

                I don't know if it is OK for me to say this, but before I found Jesus, I had a different boy friend. He told me he did it to himself and that it was Ok to touch myself, so I did it. I wish I hadn't, because now I feel really bad about it.

                We did other stuff too, and even went all the way a few times. I've been praying really hard ever since I found Jesus that he will not punish me for waht I used to do.

                If I got killed like right now, do you think I would go to Hell?


                Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to?
                Reverend Jim Osborne can help!



                sigpic

                He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4

                Comment

                • Johnnyboy
                  True Christian™ fisherman
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 801

                  #68
                  Re: Help, my gramma is masterbating!

                  Originally posted by TheLordSavedMe View Post
                  I don't know if it is OK for me to say this, but before I found Jesus, I had a different boy friend. He told me he did it to himself and that it was Ok to touch myself, so I did it. I wish I hadn't, because now I feel really bad about it.

                  We did other stuff too, and even went all the way a few times. I've been praying really hard ever since I found Jesus that he will not punish me for waht I used to do.

                  If I got killed like right now, do you think I would go to Hell?
                  In order to determine your state of Damnation, please describe in detail how you touched yourself.

                  God Bless

                  Comment

                  • Ofc. Don W. Richards
                    True Christian™ Officer of THE Law
                    True Christian™
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 491

                    #69
                    Re: Help, my gramma is masterbating!

                    I'm not sure what's going on in this thread, I didn't bother to read it, but it better stop right now. As an Officer of the Law, I don't have to understand it to know it's bad. I'd arrest all the potty-mouths in this thread if I knew where you lived.
                    Latest Headlines From Sheriff's Office:

                    Sheriff Richards Rescues Wayward Wife from the Influence of Evil Neighbor Kids


                    Sheriff Richards Busts Up Satanic Cult Operating out of local Haunted House


                    Sheriff Richards a Hero for saving Dying Man


                    Sheriff Richards Schools the Amish in Scripture


                    7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way


                    Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop


                    Sheriff Richards busts Arch Nemesis, Shane!


                    FPD to Enforce the No-Lifeguard-But-Jesus Ordinance


                    Sheriff Don W. Richards Cleans Up County Roads

                    Comment

                    • Nobar King
                      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                      Christ's Guardian
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2007
                      • 23748

                      #70
                      I'm not masturbating

                      Something strange is going on here.
                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                      Comment

                      • Johnnyboy
                        True Christian™ fisherman
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 801

                        #71
                        Re: I'm not masturbating

                        Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                        Something strange is going on here.
                        No Brother King. Nothing strange. The young lady was just wondering if she would be punished for her sin. I merely uh asked for a better desciption of the uh sin in question. That way I could uh give her a better answer. Yessir

                        Comment

                        • James Hutchins
                          True Christian™
                          Just a Regular Nice Guy
                           
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 29453

                          #72
                          Re: Help, my gramma is masterbating!

                          Originally posted by TheLordSavedMe View Post
                          I don't know if it is OK for me to say this, but before I found Jesus, I had a different boy friend. He told me he did it to himself and that it was Ok to touch myself, so I did it. I wish I hadn't, because now I feel really bad about it.
                          Originally posted by TheLordSavedMe View Post

                          We did other stuff too, and even went all the way a few times. I've been praying really hard ever since I found Jesus that he will not punish me for waht I used to do.

                          If I got killed like right now, do you think I would go to Hell?


                          Tammi, perhaps you would be more comfortable talking to one of the Ladies Of Landover (LOL)Talitha, Jenny D or April maybe. We do not want some of the younger more impressionable boys whacking himself into a frenzy later as you describe things like creamy flesh glistening in the light or heaving chests and hot breath.

                          I think it is important to spread everything out, expose your wickedness as soon as possible. If you wait, you are doomed to a everlasting damnation in Hell.
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                          Comment

                          • danmar
                            Confirmed Enemy of God
                            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 1

                            #73
                            Re: Help, my grammar is masterbating!

                            Originally posted by PalinHuckabee4Prez View Post
                            My 12 year old son Peter has taken up the sick hobby of masterbation. I've tried to tell him that it's a sick perversion that Jesus hates, and watches intensely. But he always comes .
                            perhaps the idea of jesus watching turns him on

                            Comment

                            • TheLordSavedMe
                              A young lady servicing the Lord
                              True Christian™
                              • Jun 2009
                              • 579

                              #74
                              Re: Help, my grammar is masterbating!

                              I can't talk about it, no way! It's way to embarassing and it makes me feel gross and slutty just thniking about it. I know it it was wrong, and I think I knew it was wrong when I did it (both to myself and with my boyfriend) but I did not know as much about Jesus then i guess.

                              I just don't want to go to Hell, so I guess I'll just be really, really careful so I don't get killed or anything.

                              Do I have to have a baby with a True Christian man before I can get to go to Heaven when I die?


                              Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to?
                              Reverend Jim Osborne can help!



                              sigpic

                              He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4

                              Comment

                              • James Hutchins
                                True Christian™
                                Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                 
                                • Jun 2009
                                • 29453

                                #75
                                Re: Help, my grammar is masterbating!

                                Originally posted by TheLordSavedMe View Post
                                I can't talk about it, no way! It's way to embarassing and it makes me feel gross and slutty just thniking about it. I know it it was wrong, and I think I knew it was wrong when I did it (both to myself and with my boyfriend) but I did not know as much about Jesus then i guess.

                                I just don't want to go to Hell, so I guess I'll just be really, really careful so I don't get killed or anything.

                                Do I have to have a baby with a True Christian man before I can get to go to Heaven when I die?
                                Well, knowing it was terribly wrong is half the resolution. Now that you are giving yourself to Jesus, closing your legs of sin, you will not have to go to Hell today.
                                Depending on how you live your life will tell where you go in the end. Do not forget, you cannot have a baby with a True Christian man unless he agrees to marry you. The more soldiers you make for God, the better your chances of going to heaven are.
                                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                Comment

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