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  • #76
    Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

    Originally posted by The Adversary View Post
    See, it's simplicity itself, and wouldn't even offend the most taciturn Puritan!
    We have something similar to this written up as a hand out for the pastors to give to newlyweds. Sadly there have been some challenges. There have so far been a serious accidents involving a light socket, electric toaster, along with several ear and eye injuries.

    After this tragedy that happened during the honeymoon of one of our brethren in England

    http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21611691-2,00.html


    The pastors are thinking of banning electric blenders and steak knives as wedding gifts.

    Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

    Hot Must ReadThreads!


    Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

    Comment

    • #77
      Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

      Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post

      After this tragedy that happened during the honeymoon of one of our brethren in England

      http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21611691-2,00.html


      The pastors are thinking of banning electric blenders and steak knives as wedding gifts.
      Oh great, now McDonald's are going to introduce a hot dog value meal called the McMahon. They jump on every bandwagon these days...
      Isaiah 45:6-7:
      "...I am the LORD and there is none else. I form the light and create darkness. I make peace an create evil. I the LORD do all these things." (KJV)

      Comment

      • #78
        Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

        Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
        For posting perversions in God's Favorite Forum, I am issuing you 42 infraction points!

        This is not acceptable behavior. Future insistence upon posting filth will result in your posting privileges being suspended.

        I hope this is clear.
        Clear as the blue sky, skipper! This IS an education thread however, and Mother Glynndie's original diagram doesn't seem quite complete.

        What inoffensive names can we use for Part D? It's important for True Christians™ to warn others of the punishments that await sinners in the afterlife, and this seems to be an vital point.
        Isaiah 45:6-7:
        "...I am the LORD and there is none else. I form the light and create darkness. I make peace an create evil. I the LORD do all these things." (KJV)

        Comment

        • #79
          Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

          Originally posted by The Adversary View Post
          Clear as the blue sky, skipper! This IS an education thread however, and Mother Glynndie's original diagram doesn't seem quite complete.

          What inoffensive names can we use for Part D? It's important for True Christians™ to warn others of the punishments that await sinners in the afterlife, and this seems to be an vital point.
          If you can try to recall that Part D is not a part to be used for relations (nor is Part B, mister! That's still sodomy!), then I see no reason not to try to give it a proper name.

          Perhaps SUV can help, what with her fondness for her Ezekiel 4:12 Dungbread?

          Comment

          • #80
            Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

            Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
            Perhaps SUV can help, what with her fondness for her Ezekiel 4:12 Dungbread?
            ......................NO!!!!
            sigpic
            Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

            Comment

            • #81
              Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

              Originally posted by Phoenix Risen View Post
              You could always tell him that you don't like those names and insist that he use the correct ones.
              Wait a second. You're seriously saying that Glendora - who is a woman, remember - should backsass her husband? And expect him to listen to her? You sinners crack me up.
              Originally posted by Phoenix Risen View Post
              May I ask why? You don't eat only one kind of food, do you? Different foods offer different nutrients to your body. Different faiths offer different nutrients to your spirit.
              Just as I could not physically survive for long if I fed my body only pork chops, I could not spiritually survive for long if I only fed my spirit from ony one faith tradition.
              That's one of the most inspiredly idiotic things I've ever seen. It's like a symphony of stupidity. There are many differences between God and pork chops, but one of the most important is that pork chops do not tell you to fear them and that you shall have no other food before them. GOD does. I wonder how long you'll "spiritually survive" for in the Lake of Fire?
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

              Comment

              • #82
                Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

                Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                Wait a second. You're seriously saying that Glendora - who is a woman, remember - should backsass her husband? And expect him to listen to her?
                Actually, she doesn't have to say a word. Just refuse to respond when he uses words she doesn't like for parts of her body, until he uses ones that she finds acceptable.

                Comment

                • #83
                  Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

                  Originally posted by Phoenix Risen View Post
                  Actually, she doesn't have to say a word. Just refuse to respond when he uses words she doesn't like for parts of her body, until he uses ones that she finds acceptable.
                  If I know Elmer, she'll start responding when he takes off his belt!

                  Perhaps you haven't read the Bible, Missy, but God demands that wives submit to their husbands!

                  Comment

                  • #84
                    Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

                    Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                    Wait a second. You're seriously saying that Glendora - who is a woman, remember - should backsass her husband? And expect him to listen to her? You sinners crack me up.
                    That's one of the most inspiredly idiotic things I've ever seen. It's like a symphony of stupidity. There are many differences between God and pork chops, but one of the most important is that pork chops do not tell you to fear them and that you shall have no other food before them. GOD does. I wonder how long you'll "spiritually survive" for in the Lake of Fire?
                    You know, I usualy am in quite a discussion with Brother Temperance. But I must say, hes so unbelievibly right here!

                    Good job Brother!
                    I will never surrender to false beliefs!

                    Comment

                    • #85
                      Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

                      Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
                      If I know Elmer, she'll start responding when he takes off his belt!

                      Perhaps you haven't read the Bible, Missy, but God demands that wives submit to their husbands!

                      If God wanted women to be Stepford wives, he should have programmed them that way.

                      Comment

                      • #86
                        Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

                        Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
                        If I know Elmer, she'll start responding when he takes off his belt!

                        Perhaps you haven't read the Bible, Missy, but God demands that wives submit to their husbands!

                        I'd respond to my husband taking off his belt by taking off the safety....

                        Comment

                        • #87
                          Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

                          Originally posted by Phoenix Risen View Post
                          Actually, she doesn't have to say a word. Just refuse to respond when he uses words she doesn't like for parts of her body, until he uses ones that she finds acceptable.
                          Wait a second. You're suggesting that women should stop talking... as a punishment for their husbands? You think that, if his wife stopped talking, a man would be upset by that?

                          Originally posted by Phoenix Risen View Post
                          I'd respond to my husband taking off his belt by taking off the safety....
                          And once again, we see that you liberal/communist types see violence as the first resort in any situation.
                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                          Comment

                          • #88
                            Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

                            Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                            Wait a second. You're suggesting that women should stop talking... as a punishment for their husbands? You think that, if his wife stopped talking, a man would be upset by that?



                            I meant to stop responding to him in any way whatsoever.

                            And once again, we see that you liberal/communist types see violence as the first resort in any situation.
                            If a man is taking off his belt with the intention of hitting me with it, HE has started the violence. If I am treated with violence, I will defend myself with violence.

                            Comment

                            • #89
                              Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

                              Originally posted by Phoenix Risen View Post
                              If a man is taking off his belt with the intention of hitting me with it, HE has started the violence. If I am treated with violence, I will defend myself with violence.
                              You genuinely can't tell the difference between violence and an expression of love, can you? You poor, twisted freak.
                              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                              Comment

                              • #90
                                Re: SEX EDUCATION - Naughty Parts???

                                Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                                You genuinely can't tell the difference between violence and an expression of love, can you? You poor, twisted freak.

                                Sure I can. Hitting someone is violence. Kissing someone is an expression of love.

                                Comment

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