Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

THIS kind of idol-worship makes Jesus and I sick. The Bible doesn't say to bow down to cheap, stuffed dolls of a Mary-worshiper!

Pope Mania Sweeps The Philippines Ahead Of Francis' Visit

MANILA, Philippines (AP) -- Well before Pope Francis' plane touches down in this Asian bastion of the Roman Catholic faith, Filipinos have been snapping their selfies beside his life-sized cutout image in churches and malls. His face beams from welcome posters, shirts, cookies, coins, stamps, coffee mugs and all imaginable mementoes.

There's even "Pope Francis, the Musical," in which the pontiff is portrayed singing a little One Direction.

Filipinos have welcomed popes with rock-star intensity since 1970; the late John Paul II visited twice. Pope Francis' Jan. 15-19 trip, following his ongoing Sri Lanka visit, promises to be as big or bigger, in part because the country has many painful reasons to look for hope.

Which brings me to my main point: Why hasn't anyone in my congregation come up with this idea? It's marketing genius! We obviously need some increased tithing unless we can start thinking outside the box, like those papists do. Any decent joo ad executive would JUMP at the chance to mass produce "Pastor Ezekiel Action Figures!"

Think about it.

[Dutch Girl]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

They already exist!

[VictoryOS]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

You're a tramp and a whore! Pastor Flint looks nothing like that.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

A Pastor Ezekiel talking action figure would be a great thing.
We just need to figure out what it is saying.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

If Pastor Zeke had a doll it would look like this:

(Only he would have a KJV Bible in his other hand. )




Then you could be like !

Never Fear - is Here!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

My husband, Mr. Whitford, thinks a Pastor Zeke action figure is a great idea. He's also thinking about the possibility of a life-sized Pastor Zeke doll that people can use in conjunction with recordings of your sermons to use at home. Right now he can't decide what's better, a realistic doll or an inflatable one that be carried around when he's on business trips. He's going to give you a call about it, and will get his R&D department on the case immediately.

[BeaconofTruth]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

Pope Francis says that he doesn't believe atheists will go to hell.

The word of God says in John 3:18 that he who believeth not is condemned already.

Ergo, Pope Francis does not believe the Bible is the word of God.
Ergo, Pope Francis, and all Catholics, are heretics and not truly Christians.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

Pope Francis says that he doesn't believe atheists will go to hell.

The word of God says in John 3:18 that he who believeth not is condemned already.

Ergo, Pope Francis does not believe the Bible is the word of God.
Ergo, Pope Francis, and all Catholics, are heretics and not truly Christians.

Yes, friend; those Romans are the same who hung sweet Jesus from the cross up on Golgotha. Them and the Jews; they did it. Still, these many years later, they still rejoice in their triumph. They bear effigies of Jesus on the cross as a symbol of their hatred. They pray to statues and the bones of saints, in defiance of God's laws. They call themselves Christian to mock Jesus. Yea, truly, they are worshippers of false gods and they are not Christians.

[Walter Van Slyke]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

My husband, Mr. Whitford, thinks a Pastor Zeke action figure is a great idea. He's also thinking about the possibility of a life-sized Pastor Zeke doll that people can use in conjunction with recordings of your sermons to use at home. Right now he can't decide what's better, a realistic doll or an inflatable one that be carried around when he's on business trips. He's going to give you a call about it, and will get his R&D department on the case immediately.

Let's do both! I would love to mount a life-size Pastor Zeke on the wall next to the poster-sized photos I've made of Jesus and a couple other of my LBC brethren (and sistren). And, the inflatable version would be a great consolation as I sit in some barren hotel room, reading my KJV Bible and longing for the companionship of another TrueChristian.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

Dolls are a bit gay, though. Can't we call them action figures?

[Dutch Girl]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

Dolls are a bit gay, though. Can't we call them action figures?

There is NOTHING wrong with being gay!

[Didymus Much]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

I'd buy a Pastor Zeke Funko Pop.

Series 1 would be holding out a collection plate, ofc.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

There is NOTHING wrong with being gay!

Yeah, that's why God tells us to love and accept homosexuals... oh, wait. No he doesn't. He tells us to kill them on the spot and send them to Hell for Him so He can get started on the eternity of torture. Not a fan of the gays, God.


Other than that, I guess it's ok. Well, monkeypox.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

I sometimes like to mix and match my paper doll books.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Pope Gets a Doll, Why Don't I?

[psychobabble]

The answer is Jesus. You must have so many questions; feel free to contact one of The Pastors for information about Salvation and he'll explain about God and how much He loves us.

Perhaps under the circumstances, it would be better not to contact the deaconess.