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  • Elmer G. White
    Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
    Victim of atheist scientific persecution
     
    • Apr 2014
    • 10274

    #1

    Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

    Happy Birthday, Brother. I'm positive that next year we'll celebrate your birthday in our permanent Home in heaven!



    Matthew 16:19

    And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.


    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:
  • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
    True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
     
    • Jul 2014
    • 8418

    #2
    Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

    Warmest good wishes on your birthday, Brother. May it be your last, but in the meantime

    Numbers 6:24-26

    The bless thee, and keep thee:
    The make His face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
    The lift up His countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.
    Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

    Comment

    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775

      #3
      Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

      A Blessed Birthday to you.

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • James Hutchins
        True Christian™
        Just a Regular Nice Guy
         
        • Jun 2009
        • 29453

        #4
        Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

        Happy birthday young man!

        I missed seeing you at the retreat last month in Napa Valley. I had gotten you a case of the nicest Cabernet but I cannot find it now.

        I look forward to seeing you at the Club next week at the bimonthly 'Chips for Jesus' card game.
        Attached Files
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • Granny June
          Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
          Forum Member
          • Jan 2015
          • 74

          #5
          Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

          From the Desk of
          GRANNY JUNE
          Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

          Dearest brother Jim

          I have made you a cake....i am sorry it is late, but the first 2 attempts would not come out of the mold at all. But here at last, Ta Da!



          I hope you will come over for a piece after church. I am working on the frosting now

          Happy Birtghday
          .
          .
          .


          Comment

          • VictoryOS
            True Christian™ Beauty Queen
             
            • Dec 2007
            • 5388

            #6
            Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

            Happiest birthday wishes, Brother Jim! May Baby Jesus shower you in His Golden Love today and take you home at the next convenience!
            Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
            in 2016

            Comment

            • Witch Hammer
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 1717

              #7
              Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

              Mmmm....scrambled pancakes!

              Happy birthday, Brother!

              Comment

              • Basilissa
                South of the Border outreach program
                True Christian™
                 
                • Mar 2013
                • 12992

                #8
                Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

                Happy Birthday, dearest Brother.

                Please enjoy this modest birthday cake which I have baked especially for you:



                (Be sure to politely refuse the cake-like goo made by you-know-who. I know for a fact that you-know-who used dishwasher detergent instead of flour. Which, uh, helps to explain how bad the effects of her experiments look, if you know what I mean.)
                God created fossils to test our faith.

                * * *

                My favorite LBC sermons:
                True Christians are Perfect!
                True Christian™ Love.
                Salvation™ made Easy!
                You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                God HATES Rational Thinking!
                True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                Comment

                • Marko Loimaan-Aho
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • May 2014
                  • 709

                  #9
                  Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

                  Happy Birthday, Sir Farmer

                  My wife made these tasty pies to You.
                  Everybody nearby love her pies, I am sure You find them tasteful too.

                  PRAISE THE LORD ALMIGHTY!
                  Revelation 21:8

                  Animal Rights - A Christian Perspective
                  Satan’s new technology – Black is even darker than before

                  Comment

                  • Esther B.
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Sep 2012
                    • 575

                    #10
                    Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

                    Happy birthday, Brother!
                    And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
                    Deuteronomy 6.5

                    Comment

                    • Jim Farmer
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2014
                      • 2293

                      #11
                      Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

                      Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                      Happy birthday young man!

                      I missed seeing you at the retreat last month in Napa Valley. I had gotten you a case of the nicest Cabernet but I cannot find it now.

                      I look forward to seeing you at the Club next week at the bimonthly 'Chips for Jesus' card game.
                      I was there, Brother James! Maybe you can dig out that case and bring it to the card game?

                      Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                      Happy Birthday, dearest Brother.

                      Please enjoy this modest birthday cake which I have baked especially for you:



                      (Be sure to politely refuse the cake-like goo made by you-know-who. I know for a fact that you-know-who used dishwasher detergent instead of flour. Which, uh, helps to explain how bad the effects of her experiments look, if you know what I mean.)
                      I'll feed that goo cake to the nigro help. If they die, they die. If they live, they should be grateful for the extra rations.
                      Your cake though, is for me only

                      Originally posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho View Post
                      Happy Birthday, Sir Farmer

                      My wife made these tasty pies to You.
                      Everybody nearby love her pies, I am sure You find them tasteful too.

                      Thank you Brother Marko. Those pies are for me, and me alone too. They look very lickable. I won't even let my wife see them, for fear that she may react contrary to Romans 1:26.
                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
                        Forum Member
                        Forum Member
                        • Jun 2014
                        • 1330

                        #12
                        Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

                        I sent you another few meat pies -- one was venison, another was bacon, and another one was ham. I hope you enjoy them!
                        "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78556

                          #13
                          Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

                          Happy birthday, brother. Don't forget to send over your Birthday Tithe.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • Jim Farmer
                            True Christian™
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2014
                            • 2293

                            #14
                            Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                            Happy birthday, brother. Don't forget to send over your Birthday Tithe.
                            Have you not received it? I left it with Granny July. Don't tell me ....................
                            sigpic

                            Comment

                            • Jim Farmer
                              True Christian™
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2014
                              • 2293

                              #15
                              Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Farmer!

                              Originally posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
                              I sent you another few meat pies -- one was venison, another was bacon, and another one was ham. I hope you enjoy them!
                              Thank you Sister Elizabeth. You remembered that I like meat pies
                              sigpic

                              Comment

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