[Dennis Lukes]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

This is preposterous. And annoying. Do you realize that if this incompetent fundraising won't improve I'll have to dig into my own Swiss saving accounts to purchase the damn jet!

Mr. Pastor Ezekiel Flint,


I am just a humble motel proprietor (the Blood of Christ Motel just outside Podunk, Nebraska, True Christians™ welcome) but I would like to make a modest contribution to your Godly cause. I don't pay taxes unless all three branches are under Republican control, so once the government un-shuts down again I'll have some extra going-to-town money.


However, I don't trust global Jewry to handle my assets, so I refuse to put my hard earned cash into a bank. I won't have Shlomo or Bernie or Griphook spilling his seed upon it and then placing it in my hand to infect me with the Tay-Sachs! For similar reasons, I also do not use credit cards. I ONLY transact business in cold, hard cash with "In God We Trust" on it. Would you like to receive an envelope of cash through the US Postal Service or should I send a package via UPS or FedEx? Which delivery service is the most Godly?


If none of these choices is acceptable, I could always drop it off at your church in person. Podunk is only about a three and a half hour drive from Freehold, according to Jewgle Maps.

[Basilissa]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Mr. Pastor Ezekiel Flint,


I am just a humble motel proprietor (the Blood of Christ Motel just outside Podunk, Nebraska, True Christians™ welcome) but I would like to make a modest contribution to your Godly cause. I don't pay taxes unless all three branches are under Republican control, so once the government un-shuts down again I'll have some extra going-to-town money.


However, I don't trust global Jewry to handle my assets, so I refuse to put my hard earned cash into a bank. I won't have Shlomo or Bernie or Griphook spilling his seed upon it and then placing it in my hand to infect me with the Tay-Sachs! For similar reasons, I also do not use credit cards. I ONLY transact business in cold, hard cash with "In God We Trust" on it. Would you like to receive an envelope of cash through the US Postal Service or should I send a package via UPS or FedEx? Which delivery service is the most Godly?


If none of these choices is acceptable, I could always drop it off at your church in person. Podunk is only about a three and a half hour drive from Freehold, according to Jewgle Maps.

Dear, Landover Baptist accepts all sorts of payment types (cash, credit card, money order, check, gold, diamonds, you get the idea), however, we have a policy of not receiving money from people who haven't been screened by our Department of Faith - we wouldn't want to suddenly discover that we have been involved in some shady money laundering. Panama papers were enough trouble, we don't want that to happen again.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

The Committee for Pastor Zeke's new aircraft meets regularly. Recently we were presented with a new development we want to share with the Congregation.

As you recall, your generous donations allowed us to almost take in the sum we needed for the giant Airbus Pastor Zeke prefers. Then, the Trump campaign asked us for a large loan to be paid back after his election which we felt obligated to accommodate. Unfortunately, the campaign has never paid us back. We still expect repayment because President Trump is a man of his word.

Now there is a new opportunity for us to earn interest on the remaining balance. All of you know the evangelist, Ernie Angley. Ernie's Boeing 747 is grounded needing a new landing gear. It has been sitting in an airline bone yard for a year and a half waiting to be repaired.

Ernie's people have asked us for a two million dollar loan so they can get the 747 back in the air. They tell us that once Ernie has the plane operating he can resume full time evangelism and pay us back shortly.

Frankly, I'm torn on this request. I think we should do what God wants us to do. If the 747 brings Ernie back out doing events and saving souls I think God might be pleased.

But, if we are not paid back, as in the Trump loan, we have set back Pastor Zeke's time table for bring Jesus to millions with his new giant Airbus. And I have other concerns. Ernie is now 97 years old and I'm wondering if his staff is realistic about his stamina. There are also resolved lawsuits of sexual matters with the usual harlots that pursue evangelists.

The Committee would appreciate any thoughts on this loan request.

https://www.christianpost.com/church-ministries/televangelist-ernest-angley-reportedly-cannot-pay-to-fix-grounded-ministry-jet.html

[James Hutchins]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

The Committee for Pastor Zeke's new aircraft meets regularly. Recently we were presented with a new development we want to share with the Congregation.

As you recall, your generous donations allowed us to almost take in the sum we needed for the giant Airbus Pastor Zeke prefers. Then, the Trump campaign asked us for a large loan to be paid back after his election which we felt obligated to accommodate. Unfortunately, the campaign has never paid us back. We still expect repayment because President Trump is a man of his word.

Now there is a new opportunity for us to earn interest on the remaining balance. All of you know the evangelist, Ernie Angley. Ernie's Boeing 747 is grounded needing a new landing gear. It has been sitting in an airline bone yard for a year and a half waiting to be repaired.

Ernie's people have asked us for a two million dollar loan so they can get the 747 back in the air. They tell us that once Ernie has the plane operating he can resume full time evangelism and pay us back shortly.

Frankly, I'm torn on this request. I think we should do what God wants us to do. If the 747 brings Ernie back out doing events and saving souls I think God might be pleased.

But, if we are not paid back, as in the Trump loan, we have set back Pastor Zeke's time table for bring Jesus to millions with his new giant Airbus. And I have other concerns. Ernie is now 97 years old and I'm wondering if his staff is realistic about his stamina. There are also resolved lawsuits of sexual matters with the usual harlots that pursue evangelists.

The Committee would appreciate any thoughts on this loan request.

https://www.christianpost.com/church-ministries/televangelist-ernest-angley-reportedly-cannot-pay-to-fix-grounded-ministry-jet.html

As much as it is the Christian thing to help others in need, what is the point of giving away your last meal only to be starving yourself. Our own, humble and self defecating Pastor Ezekiel Flint has been making do with so much of last years supplies that I can see he is visibly embarrassed. What does it say about us when our own congregation cannot afford the basic necessities of life for our generous leaders? A simple Pastor cannot make vintage wine out of water, it must be selected at the vineyard, carefully transported and stocked in abundance.

I think of all the people around the world, those nameless and faceless people that the Good Pastor has drug from the depths of depravity to lead Christian lives. All the young boys he has Touched(r) and will never tell of it. Should this stop just because another person has squandered Gods Gift's?
If the LBC Financial Committee decides to invest (where is the next meeting, South Africa? I need to see if I can be there in person and not just call in.) I think we need some sort of ironclad agreement in place, a sort of UCC-1 filing on the soul of Rev. Angley.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brother Mr Mayor, Sir, my husband has instructed me to respond to this on his behalf. The italics are Matthew's words.

Ernie's people have asked us for a two million dollar loan so they can get the 747 back in the air. They tell us that once Ernie has the plane operating he can resume full time evangelism and pay us back shortly.

How shortly is shortly?

There are also resolved lawsuits of sexual matters with the usual harlots that pursue evangelists.

I guess you mean unresolved? Whatever - our Joo lawyers can step in on his behalf if necessary. Are they cheap harlots, or is this likely to cost him serious money?

All we need to know here is how much Ernie's jet is worth. If it's less than - say - $4 million in its current (unrepaired) state, then forget it. But if the collateral's there, and the interest rate's more than appropriate, then why not? We just need to ensure that we have a first charge on it and that at the first sign of default (or death) the jet's ours to sell.
See you at the witch hunt, Johny Joe.
Matt

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Thank you, Sister, for passing along Matt's thoughts on this issue. He said the plane must have a value of $4 million so we would have that collateral in case we needed to sell the airplane in order to recoup our loan money.

According the what I read, the plane is only worth about $1 million. It was beaten up even before the Pastor acquired it. If the 747 were saving thousands of souls from hell it still might be a good loan. Those saved would surely tithe and we would be repaid.

Frankly, I just don't know if Ernie can save enough souls to allow repayment of this loan. His staff tells me he is up to it, but maybe we need to think about this some more.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Landover Baptist Church is against homosexuality, right?


While we love the homosexual, we hate the sin, right? But if the sinner happens to be someone purporting to be a Christian, doesn't that make the sinner not only a hypocrite but an untrustworthy companion on our journey to Jesus, right? I mean, I don't think I could tolerate someone saying they are on the side of Jesus but secretly they are practicing the sin of sodomy and gomorrahmy. It just curdles my blood as a young, handsome, well built and intelligent equine gnathologist and as a dedicated follower of Jesus. So I said all that to remind you of this:


Not that long ago Ernest Angley was accused of sexual sin. HOMOSEXUAL SIN. Men came forward exposing Angley's private "counseling" with them which was done in the nude and with spiritual massage (in other words, the sin of Onan) often involved. These allegations were never proven false. I do not think a loan to this man should even be considered. BUT: there IS good news.


Before he was eaten by cannibals in New Guinea - a horrid way to go - my dear friend Michael Hezekiah, a Joo turned to Jesus and a fine lawyer, obtained the FULL amount of Landover's loan to the Trump Campaign through Trump's Joo son-in-law, since they both went to the same temple in NYC (when Mike was still alive).


A check is now in a trust account for the full amount of the loan plus interest. There is a stipulation about release of this money. It must be done through ME and it has to go DIRECTLY to the plane manufacturer, used for no other reason than Pastor Zeke's new airplane. Without my signature, the check is just a piece of paper. Of course, a lawsuit could probably get the funds in your hands, too, but I just can't imagine you would do that when it costs a lot of money and will take more time to get the airplane.


So fellas: let me know if you're interested. Michael has set this up so I can cash the check tonight if I want to. I have sent a copy of the legal transaction details, certified by the Circuit Court of the District of New York #239.


Hope to hear from you soon. It's a lot of bucks, boys. Would you rather trust ME or a homosexual?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

My thinking is still evolving but here is what I'm going to propose to the Committee. I want Ernie's staff to lease a bus and driver, put 97 year old Ernie on with some musicians and go on tour. He can do some preaching, healing and alter calls. Benny Hinn still sells out sells out the house with his healing ministry. If it goes well, that is it turns a nice profit, we can look at the 747 issue again. That way we have not turned our backs on his Boeing problem but we have not put Pastor Zeke's Airbus at risk either.

[Dana723]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Don't you think has suffered long enough waiting for his jet? He's such a fine upstanding and handsome Christian man and I believe he has waited long enough. I will speak to my husband. We have some money socked away for our sons but perhaps we could contribute something.

[Basilissa]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

We have some money socked away for our sons but perhaps we could contribute something.

Dear, for the sake of transparency, Pastor Zeke does not accept money from just anywhere, only from the church members. Let's just say, that he became much more careful after the whole Panama Papers thing blew up in his face. It was a lot of fuss over nothing, if you ask me, but the IRS started snooping around, LBC secretary very conveniently disappeared, and we still have some unresolved questions left.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I just saw they flew Prime Minister Johnson back from the UN summit in Joo York to Godless Britain in a military Voyager aircraft and it got me thinking. I don't know what the price comparison is, but might a Voyager work for our beloved Pastor? It's a little shorter than the giant Airbus, but the attraction, in terms of safety, is clear:

Alternatively, it can operate as a passenger aircraft in much the same way as a civilian airliner, but delivering personnel safely into theatre thanks to its defensive aids suite.

(I'm assuming that's aids as in things that help, not as in the AIDS.)

It would be reassuring to know that if Pastor Zeke came under attack from heathens, he would be able to retaliate.

[James Hutchins]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

My thinking is still evolving but here is what I'm going to propose to the Committee. I want Ernie's staff to lease a bus and driver, put 97 year old Ernie on with some musicians and go on tour. He can do some preaching, healing and alter calls. Benny Hinn still sells out sells out the house with his healing ministry. If it goes well, that is it turns a nice profit, we can look at the 747 issue again. That way we have not turned our backs on his Boeing problem but we have not put Pastor Zeke's Airbus at risk either.

Sounds to me like a sensible approach. I have a 19" flat screen with a built in DVD player I'd like to contribute. I'll need a receipt ($600 should be about right) for tax purposes.
I hear Nickel Back is popular with the kids. The name feels some how appropriate too.

[James Hutchins]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I just saw they flew Prime Minister Johnson back from the UN summit in Joo York to Godless Britain in a military Voyager aircraft and it got me thinking. I don't know what the price comparison is, but might a Voyager work for our beloved Pastor? It's a little shorter than the giant Airbus, but the attraction, in terms of safety, is clear:

(I'm assuming that's aids as in things that help, not as in the AIDS.)

It would be reassuring to know that if Pastor Zeke came under attack from heathens, he would be able to retaliate.

Is there room for a lap pool in it? Pastor Flint needs a lap pool to retain his chiseled physique, especially so close to his impending nuptials to Miss Daisy (I hear June 2020 might be a magical month).

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Is there room for a lap pool in it? Pastor Flint needs a lap pool to retain his chiseled physique, especially so close to his impending nuptials to Miss Daisy (I hear June 2020 might be a magical month).

Well, Brother Hutchins, I'm going to come right out and admit I don't have the answer to that. But as it's an air-to-air refueling craft, there must be a load of tank space that won't be needed and could maybe be re-purposed?

My husband is away at the moment, as a guest of some bigwig - or big towel - in Qatar. (Apparently there's an athletics championship going on in 110 degrees. Matthew says it's hilarious.) But there's bound to be someone from the Emirates military there - the UAE's only next door - so I'll ask him to check it out and get back to you privately.

A glass-bottomed pool in the plane's belly would be spectacular, wouldn't it! I wonder if it would be safe at altitude, though I dare say Jesus would ensure it was. It would be so lovely if Pastor and his beautiful bride could have the new craft, whatever it may be, available in time for their honeymoon mission.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Greetings!

I was thinking that my white Baptist friends would want to know that there is a fine selection of used jet airplanes for sale just now in Jamaica which is my home. Since the people in Babylon have made the ganja legal to smoke there is less use for them and they could possibly be had at a good price. Perhaps you could purchase two or more at a discount. It may be advantageous to investigate this matter soon before the Colombians find out and buy them all up.

Jah Guide!
Trevor