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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
Happy birthday, sweet Sister. May we soon frolick on the Heavenly meadows and pastures with Christ our dear Savior and Redeemer.
John 10:9
I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
Happy Birthday, Sister. I pray that you may find a suitable husband in good time to be Saved.
1 Timothy 2:15
With all good wishes, dear Sister.Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
I was taught to never reference a ladies age. I imagine my wife, Mrs. Hutchins will contact you and send some sort of female gift. I'll look forward to your contribution to the luncheon after Church.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
Blessed Birthday to you, dear Sister in Christ!Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
Dear good sister, it pains me to see that the loving baby Jesus has not taken you to His masculine bosom
I can only assume that that most notorious of blackguards, the Devil is keeping you here, trapped in this filthy, fallen, fornication fascination falsity of a world.
When your immune system fends of a God given flu, the Devil is there.
When the carbon monoxide detector on you boiler works, Satan is there.
When the would be murder/rapist (and I'm not saying he has to be black) is shot and killed on the way to the store Lucifer is in the wings, keeping you stuck in this perverted, perniciously poisonous, painfully penile oriented world.
One day though, hopefully soon, the Devil will slip up and Jesus will call you to His side.
YIC1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
By the Powers Vested in Me, I Hereby Declare this
SISTER BASILLLA DAY
In Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold
MayorIsaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
Happy Birthday, sister B. I hope the special birthday dinner that you cook for your husband isn't burned this time.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
Thank you all for your wishes. I've spent this day praying and praising the Lord - the same as every other day.
Thank you, Sister. Since everything that happens happens because God wants it (Amos 3:6), I know that God has a plan for me. Even if that plan includes me burning in Hell (2 Timothy 1:9) for not having children (1 Timothy 2:15), I will still praise Him from the bottom of the bottomless pit, just as Job has praised God even when God punished him for no other reason but a bet He made with the devil (Job 2:4-6).Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View PostGod created fossils to test our faith.
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My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
I'm thinking that plan for you may involve Young Peter. All the best for your future together.
sigpic
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
Sister B, on this happy day I pray that the Lord will pour you an extra helping of blessings.WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
My Dearest Brother,Originally posted by Jim Farmer View PostI'm thinking that plan for you may involve Young Peter. All the best for your future together.
1. Does Peter has a stable job with a salary higher than $100,000?
2. Does he have have at least two properties (the main one in the suburbs and another one on a lake)?
3. Does he have a hefty life insurance policy?
4. Does he have a life-threatening allergies, or at least some life-threatening (but not infectious) disease?
If the answer to any of these questions is "no," then I'm not interested, thankyouverymuch, Mr. Matchmaker. I have to think of my future, you see.
God created fossils to test our faith.
* * *
My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
Happy Belated Birthday, Sister!And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
My dear Basilissa, It's not a matter of whether you are interested or not. It's a matter of whether your closest living male relative or your pastor want toOriginally posted by Basilissa View PostMy Dearest Brother,
1. Does Peter has a stable job with a salary higher than $100,000?
2. Does he have have at least two properties (the main one in the suburbs and another one on a lake)?
3. Does he have a hefty life insurance policy?
4. Does he have a life-threatening allergies, or at least some life-threatening (but not infectious) disease?
If the answer to any of these questions is "no," then I'm not interested, thankyouverymuch, Mr. Matchmaker. I have to think of my future, you see.sell you.give you the opportunity to be saved through child birth. What sort of an uppity woman are you when you think you have any say in the matter?sigpicComment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Basilissa!
My dearest Brother in Christ: my relatives are on their way toOriginally posted by Jim Farmer View Post
for being unsaved trash, and I believe that my pastor is enjoying the arrangement that we have now enough not to sell me off to some lowlife. (You see, a secluded cottage on the lake Michigan, with a basement large enough to keep a bear, is not something that I could maintain if I were to marry some 99-percenter).
God created fossils to test our faith.
* * *
My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
Comment