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Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
Thank you, Sister. It is my birthday and I am off very shortly to attend a luncheon in my honor. We will be dining on the Chicken Ambassador, which is a recipe that seems to be known to all chefs who cook for luncheons. I have heard a rumor that I will be given a lifetime achievement award for my work among the unsaved, attempting (mostly unsuccessfully, sadly) to bring them to Jesus.God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11 -
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
Happy and Blessed Birthday, Brother in Christ!
Many experts on the immanent issue of the End of Days agree that glorious Nukes will be employed during the Tribulations (Revelation 9-16) that are about to commence as Jesus is fed up with the Sinner Swarm! May you soon bask in the radiant afterglow of God's Weaponry and celebrate your next Birthday with Jesus Christ in Heaven. The Prophet tells us that it will be so!
Isaiah 24:1
Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty, and maketh it waste, and turneth it upside down, and scattereth abroad the inhabitants thereof.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:- Hitler is Alive!
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- Paris Hilton for President and the Hitler connection!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
Have a Blessed Birthday, Brother Alvin!
God created fossils to test our faith.
* * *
My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
Thank you for the birthday wishes. I am returned from my luncheon and I was in fact given a lifetime achievement award by my congregation here in Texas. I arrived just in time to see a fire truck departing and the police taking away the featured speaker. Apparently, he arrived an hour early and in his cups. After being shown into the banquet hall, he removed his clothes, set them on fire, climbed onto a table and gave his speech to the catering crew. I don't know how this happened as Mrs. Arbeiter, the head of the luncheon committee, told me that he had come highly recommended.
However, even this fiasco was unable to derail the festivities. I gave a short speech of acceptance, we all ate the chicken and then I returned to my home.God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
Happy birthday, Brother, and congratulations on the Lifetime Achievement Award. Now that you have that, you can rest on your laurels until Jesus comes to take you to your heavenly reward.
Warmest regards from all the family,
JoannaVaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
A birthday poem for you:
Alvin is so wonderful
He means so much to me
He always gives me good advice
On land and on the sea
He listens to the Lord above
He prays and tithes and worships
He doesn't tolerate sin and stuff
And he prays and tithes and worships
So Happy Birthday Alvin,
The good Lord made you great
And now I'll end my poem
So I can masticate.
I'm hungry.
The End.Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.Amen and AmenComment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
Wishing you the blessings of the Lamb of God on your birthday.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy.gif "Gunsmilie(1)")
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
Happy birthday Brother Alvin. I feel you are one of the closest members to me here.Do not worry: this feeling will pass once the wall is built, then you will as far from me as our brothers in Europistan.1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
Greetings and Happy Birthday from Yankee land Brother Moss.
We're consuming some authentic Chateau de Versailles Marie Antoinette cake here in your honor.Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawnsigpicComment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN MOSS
Many thanks for all the good wishes. Next year in Heaven.God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11Comment
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