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  • Basilissa
    South of the Border outreach program
    True Christian™
     
    • Mar 2013
    • 12986
    #1

    Happy Birthday Brother Gonzalez!

    Let me be the first to wish you a very happy birthday!

    Here is a cake for you - I know how much you like soccer (that fake football of yours), but the green turf there is as a reminder of your true calling, that is gardening.



    God created fossils to test our faith.

    * * *

    My favorite LBC sermons:
    True Christians are Perfect!
    True Christian™ Love.
    Salvation™ made Easy!
    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
     Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
    God HATES Rational Thinking!
    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
    Tags: happy birthday wishes
    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775
      #2
      Re: Happy Birthday Brother Gonzalez!

      Happy Birthday, brother in Christ!
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • Elmer G. White
          Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
          Victim of atheist scientific persecution
           
          • Apr 2014
          • 10273
          #3
          Re: Happy Birthday Brother Gonzalez!

          Happy Birthday, Brother in Christ!

          It seems that your magnificent example in the Mexican lands is finally paying off big time! You may have noticed that Jesus Himself appeared recently in some timber in you sorry excuse for a country! Glory! While it is certainly a warning for the Papist Swarm, it is also a Glorious Promise of Jesus entering you and you entering Him in Heaven!

          Revelation 22:14
          Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.

          It is certainly possible that the tree depicted in the sweet picture below is the Tree of Life itself! Praise Jesus!






          Yours in Christ,

          Elmer
          2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



          PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
          Check out our Research in Creation Science:

            Comment

            • James Hutchins
              True Christian™
              Just a Regular Nice Guy
               
              • Jun 2009
              • 29453
              #4
              Re: Happy Birthday Brother Gonzalez!

              Happy birthday young man. When you finish mowing, have a pop on me. Just be sure to turn in the bottle for the five cents and tithe it.
              You know, if you give up your mary worshiping ways and give your self to Jesus and not some pervert priest, you may still have a shot at True Salvation™. You should stop by the back door of the LBC Church and request a Tithe schedule and a Form for Salvation© to get you started. I'll put a call in to let the office ladies know you will be there and that they do not have to call security. We do get a lot of messicans lurking, I am sure you completely understand.
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                Comment

                • GaleWhoring the Boring
                  Unsaved trash, probably hopeless sinner
                  • Sep 2017
                  • 256
                  #5
                  Re: Happy Birthday Brother Gonzalez!

                  Happy Birthday Gonzalez! If you ever need a pinata for your fiesta, I'm you're gal.

                    Comment

                    • Brother Gonzalez
                      Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz"
                      True Christian™
                       
                      • Sep 2016
                      • 2087
                      #6
                      Re: Happy Birthday Brother Gonzalez!

                      Thanks everyone except the Unsaved Trash speaking nonsense.

                      As this is my first Birthday as a True Christian, it was really different from other Birthdays I had.


                      I still think that you have to spend this day with your beloved ones. I used to spend this day with my family, but since Jesus commands us to hate them (Luke 14:26) I spent my day alone with the Bible.


                      I still feel the joy of being "my" day, but now I have some sadness in me because it is another year that the Lord did not call me to his side.


                      I expect that is because He needs me on Earth, He has a mission for me! The wall is taking longer than expected and the grass keeps growing everywhere, so there it is!
                      1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.

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