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  • Elmer G. White
    Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
    Victim of atheist scientific persecution
     
    • Apr 2014
    • 10276
    #1

    Happy Birthday, Sister Handmaiden!

    Have a blessed Birthday, Sister in Christ! May Jesus grant you His Coveted Backpass into Heaven Today! No present could be better than to gain finally the Eternal Happiness frolicking on the meadows of God!



    Luke 1:48
    For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.


    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:
    Tags: happy birthday
    • James Hutchins
      True Christian™
      Just a Regular Nice Guy
       
      • Jun 2009
      • 29453
      #2
      Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Handmaiden!

      Happy birthday, young lady. I'd of gotten you a gift but I have no idea what you ladies want these days, most of the women I know makes their own lace covers for their Bibles.





      Any how, I arranged for a Store Credit at 'Ladies Wear and Sensible Clothing' in the shopping district of Landover. I am sure you know where it is.
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • BrotherLarry
          Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2014
          • 2266
          #3
          Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Handmaiden!

          Dearest Sister in Christ:


          My birthday wish for you is that you receive a visit from our President today. If that doesn't happen, I wish that you receive a visit from Mike Pence!


          If that doesn't happen, well -- I'm free later on.


          BrotherLarry
          Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
          “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

          Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
          Amen and Amen

            Comment

            • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
              True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
               
              • Jul 2014
              • 8419
              #4
              Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Handmaiden!

              Warmest Christian greetings on your birthday, Sister. I pray that this time next year we will all be celebrating with you in Heaven.
              Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                Comment

                • handmaiden
                  Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
                  True Christian™
                  • May 2010
                  • 11523
                  #5
                  Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Handmaiden!

                  Thank you all. my Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

                  I like to count my birthdays by the number of years that I have gone without ess- ee-ex. This reminds me of my purity and willingness to sacrifice for Jesus. . . Not that it is that much of a sacrifice, of course! Godly women are hardly plagued by such urges, but sometimes I imagine it would be nice to hold hands again, or something like that.


                  Excuse me, I need to visit my prayer closet.
                  His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                  Guns For God and the Economy

                    Comment

                    • Basilissa
                      South of the Border outreach program
                      True Christian™
                       
                      • Mar 2013
                      • 12993
                      #6
                      Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Handmaiden!

                      Here is the sweetest cake for the sweetest Sister:

                      God created fossils to test our faith.

                      * * *

                      My favorite LBC sermons:
                      True Christians are Perfect!
                      True Christian™ Love.
                      Salvation™ made Easy!
                      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                       Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                      God HATES Rational Thinking!
                      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                        Comment

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