X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    Happy Birthday, Brother Faith Machine

    Have a blessed Birthday, out webcam prophet! May you perish swiftly and soon gain the passwords to Jesus's intra! Here's the new bestseller based on your adventures.



    Galatians 6:10
    As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.


    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:
    Tags: happy birthday
  • #2
    Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Faith Machine

    Happy Birthday, dear Brother in Christ. I pray that this year you will not be led into Temptation and that we may meet soon in Heaven, permanently delivered from the Evil that has so sorely beset you in recent years.

    Numbers 6:24-26 - The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.
    Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Faith Machine

      I'm new here at the LBC forums and I've never met this fella, but Happy Birthday from all of us here a t the Blood of Christ Motel! If you happen to be near Podunk, Nebraska anytime soon, stop in for a night's rest! Mention this post and get a 10% discount off your first night (not compatible with the 20% discount for True Christians).
      I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
      Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
      But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
      From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Faith Machine

        Salutations, Brother FM, while I'd single you out with a special gift, I think it could be construed as insensitive, given this week is all about Jesus.
        Soon, with any grace, you will be having dinner sitting on the right hand of God. With luck, He will cut your steak.
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Faith Machine

          Thank you sci much, my dear friends!

          Elmer, could you please PM me? I have some concerns about what might or might not be included in this book about me.
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Faith Machine

            Happy belated birthday, Brother!



            God created fossils to test our faith.

            * * *

            My favorite LBC sermons:
            True Christians are Perfect!
            True Christian™ Love.
            Salvation™ made Easy!
            You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
            Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
            Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
             Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
            Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
            The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
            Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
            God HATES Rational Thinking!
            True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

            Comment

            Previous template Next
            Working...
            X