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  • Elmer G. White
    Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
    Victim of atheist scientific persecution
     
    • Apr 2014
    • 10274
    #1

    Happy Birthday, Sister Mary Etheldreda!

    Dearest Sister, may you be blessed on this Glorious Birthday of yours and may your Godly Husband be pleased with your baking and cooking today. May you serve him in an utterly un-uttering manner, as Jesus told you to do! You are truly an example among the lesser sex with your skills of actual reading and elementary calculations!

    1 Timothy 2:11
    Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.




    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:
    Tags: None
    • Brother Gonzalez
      Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz"
      True Christian™
       
      • Sep 2016
      • 2087
      #2
      Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Mary Etheldreda!

      Oh, sister, how I envy you, getting so close to die and go to sit next to Jesus.

      I wonder how big is the kitchen in Heaven, and how glorious must be the food in there, with all the TC ladies cooking all day!


      Glory!


      Yic,


      The Gonz
      1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.

        Comment

        • Basilissa
          South of the Border outreach program
          True Christian™
           
          • Mar 2013
          • 12992
          #3
          Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Mary Etheldreda!

          Happy Birthday, Sister! I hope you had a blessed day filled fulfilling orders of your husband and taking care of your children.

          Here's a little cake to sweeten up your day:

          God created fossils to test our faith.

          * * *

          My favorite LBC sermons:
          True Christians are Perfect!
          True Christian™ Love.
          Salvation™ made Easy!
          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
           Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
          God HATES Rational Thinking!
          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

            Comment

            • Mary Etheldreda
              Gushing for Jesus
               
              • Sep 2011
              • 23775
              #4
              Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Mary Etheldreda!

              Thank you friends! I am so honored to serve Christ by having offered up my uterus to bear Soldiers for Christ for one more year. Until He calls me Home the Front Lines of this Spiritual War will be waged in part in the warm recesses of this Mother's Womb.
              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                Comment

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