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  • WWJDnow
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Aug 2009
    • 6311

    #1

    Happy 400th Birthday, Landover Baptist Church!

    On this date 400 years ago, the Rev. John Smith and John Carver formed the Landover Baptist Church. Pastor Bathfire was kind enough to open the Church archives to me for some historical research on the origin of the Church, and I'm happy to be the first to publish the story here, illuminating certain points in early American history along the way.

    On November 18, 1620, Mayflower passengers the Rev. John Smyth (an ancestor of Landover's Pastor Deacon Smith) and John Carver (an ancestor of Pastor Ezekiel Flint, though admittedly through the lesser female line) caught Carver's maidservant Dorothy spreading the vile heresy that Jesus was crucified using four nails, when all good people know that the Romans used only three. To keep this vicious lie from spreading and thereby endangering the souls of all members of the venture, Smyth and Carver tied Dorothy to the mainmast and lit a bonfire beneath her to drive the Devil out.

    Unfortunately, Myles Standish and Captain Christopher Jones intervened, extinguishing the flames before Dorothy's soul departed her body, thus ensuring that the devilry would continue in the midst of the flock. (This led to no end of trouble around seventy years later.) Nevertheless, Smyth and Carver on that day pledged to form a new Christian church to fight infernal influence in the New World, spreading the good news of the gospel the "whole land over." Thus the Land Over Baptist Church compact was formed. And their church--our church--has been blessed by the Lord ever since.

    Due to some fire damage to the ship, Captain Jones declared that they would have to make landfall for repairs over the winter if the company were to survive. Moved by the prayers of Smyth and Carver, God relocated the North American Continent several hundred miles eastward, and the crew of the Mayflower spotted Cape Cod the very next day. The Pilgrims made landfall in Massachusetts, establishing their colony there rather than at the originally planned Virginia location.

    One year later, the Pilgrims invited their new neighbors to a grand feast of Thanksgiving to celebrate the anniversary of their new church.
    The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!
  • Cranky Old Man
    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
    You kids get off his lawn!
     
    • Jan 2010
    • 22362

    #2
    Re: Happy 400th Birthday, Landover Baptist Church!

    Amen!

    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

    Comment

    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22869

      #3
      Re: Happy 400th Birthday, Landover Baptist Church!

      There is a little background that I can add to the incidence of Dorothy and her antitriclavianism. The log of the Speedwell mentions a Dorothy Flaxen, spinster, of Mildenhall in the county of Norfolk and this seems to be the lady in question. Parish records show her to have been christened there on Feb 23rd 1594.

      Landover is fortunate enough to have a diary kept by one Bartholomew King, a member of the Landover congregation of 1690, in which he recalled the story that his grandfather had told him.

      It appears that Dorothy Flaxen was not the comeliest of young women and the Speedwell Captain Reynolds had seen her with a black cat whilst the vessel was in Delfshaven. He had prohibited her from taking the cat aboard and she, in turn had taken against him. Not long out of Delfshaven, the Reynolds noticed that water was seeping into the Speedwell. He mentioned this to his first officer within the hearing of Dorothy Flaxen who was then heard to remark “We are alive – is my cat? You will see.”

      The story continues, and includes the famous incident of the goat and the loofah, but we take this up as the Speedwell, seeming curse with a leak, has returned and Dorothy Flaxen now attempts to change vessels and board the Mayflower with another – or perhaps the same – black cat. This time it was Captain Jones, sensing something unhealthy, who forbade her bring the beast aboard.

      Five days out of Plymouth, England, the Rev. John Smyth noticed two things: Dorothy Flaxen was seen in the lee of the fo’castle with what appeared to be an open Bible and engaged in teaching a group of children of the passengers of the Speedwell. There was a cat on the Mayflower – a black cat to which Dorothy Flaxen seemed unnaturally attached, often sleeping with the creature at her bosom. Rev. John Smyth mentioned this in passing to Capt. Jones. Captain Jones forthwith caught the cat and, in the sight of Dorothy Flaxen, threw the creature overboard.

      It was then that the weather turned. All aboard called it the Work of Satan: A mighty wave threw the cat back onto the deck of the Mayflower no more than 3 feet from the foot of the captain. Captain Jones, a brave man, was visibly shaken and he retired to his cabin and copy of KJV1611.

      Rev. John Smyth was of greater Faith and instantly summoned John Carver to convene a trial for witchcraft and/or popery. The book used by Dorothy Flaxen was seized and found to be a copy of the Papist Bible written in Latin. This was opened at various pages by an unnamed passenger who claimed he had been versed in the language of popery, but it was discovered that various words phrases and verses were incomprehensible to him and were thus “some species of spell”. The evidence was taken from the children was the most damning:

      It appears that they had been taught a “song” by Dorothy Flaxen:

      Click image for larger version

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      The case is watertight. Antitriclavianism at its worst. The rest is as you say.
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • MitzaLizalor
        Completely CRAZY for the Lord
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2010
        • 14238

        #4
        Re: Happy 400th Birthday, Landover Baptist Church!

        Would this be an appropriate time to mention that the palette competition is still open with just two entries to go!



        Bible verses sought for |2.vii| and |3.i| with a lovely prize† as yet unclaimed.





        acknowledging God's Perfect Love, not celebrating the lucky winner.

        Comment

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