My Relationship to Jesus Christ

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

God is like the owner of a household. The human is like unto a domestic servant. The owner of the house provides you with a place to live (earth), food to eat (or not), and a job to do (His). Just like in real life, if the domestic help is shiftless and indolent, not bending the to will of the owner of the household, they are guaranteed to get fired (in this case, literally). However, if the domestic help happily agrees to do what is expected of them without a single question or regard to their own safety or relationships, the owner of the household will be happy with them and likely to reward them. I hope this analogy helps simplify the relationship between God and man, so that all of the ignorant sinners can semi-understand what God wants from them. I tried to limit my vocabulary, just for them.

Note: If you think you've seen these before, it's because you have. These are some of my older sermons that I'm reposting to get the opinions of the current members. Thank you.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

Son, you aren't even a True Christian(tm), much less a Pastor. You have no business posting "sermons" at all. This is just more false pride. Maybe you need more time in Quarantine to contemplate the sin of pride.

If you're interested in becoming a True Christian(tm) Pastor someday, THIS thread will give you some sense of what you'll need to study up on.

Frankly, I have my doubts about you,boy. But Jesus has certainly done stranger things.

[Star Finder]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

Xekey,

I don't think there is any hope for this young imposter. He is a parrot repeating words he does not know the meaning of...

and I bet he does not even have a PayPal account.

SF

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

Xekey,

I don't think there is any hope for this young imposter. He is a parrot repeating words he does not know the meaning of...

and I bet he does not even have a PayPal account.

SF

Mr. Finder, you ARE aware that he can make a payment using just a credit card, right?

[PrayerIsFun]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

This young poser needs a good whipping. How dare he mock the great True Christian Pastors of Landover! Hath Hell's Fury Sweep Down and Char Your Torturous Soul!

[Vayhr of the Warhost]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

God is like the owner of a household. The human is like unto a domestic servant. The owner of the house provides you with a place to live (earth), food to eat (or not), and a job to do (His). Just like in real life, if the domestic help is shiftless and indolent, not bending the to will of the owner of the household, they are guaranteed to get fired (in this case, literally). However, if the domestic help happily agrees to do what is expected of them without a single question or regard to their own safety or relationships, the owner of the household will be happy with them and likely to reward them. I hope this analogy helps simplify the relationship between God and man, so that all of the ignorant sinners can semi-understand what God wants from them. I tried to limit my vocabulary, just for them.

That parable represents the relationship between a man's body (house), which belongs to God, and his soul (household cartaker). Jesus pays the water bill (pumps the blood), the electricity bill (runs the nervous system) and the gas bill (regulates breathing). He even pays for trash pickup (defecation). All we have to do in keep His house clean. Defile the Lord's house and he will punish the ungrateful tenant. If that tenant does good by the Lord's house He will reward him with a better house in Heaven.

Jesus would not use a creepy soulless ginger to make a parable. He has plenty of perfectly good parables within His book. You place the value of a human being too high, Red.

[24] Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:
[25] But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.
[26] But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.
[27] So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?
[28] He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?
[29] But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.
[30] Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.

Perhaps prophets and even angels can be equated to a household servant, but not the common man. No, we are merely produce to the Lord which will be harvested when we have ripened. The sodomite, liberal, secular tares will be burned while the god fearing, holy chosen elite will be stored in the barnhouse to be processed into a holy leaven. I hope that my prayers, devotion and unrelenting love for Jesus can continue to serve as a spiritual energy food source for my Lord and Savior for all eternity.

[s@ul77]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

God is like the owner of a household. The human is like unto a domestic servant. The owner of the house provides you with a place to live (earth), food to eat (or not), and a job to do (His). Just like in real life, if the domestic help is shiftless and indolent, not bending the to will of the owner of the household, they are guaranteed to get fired (in this case, literally). However, if the domestic help happily agrees to do what is expected of them without a single question or regard to their own safety or relationships, the owner of the household will be happy with them and likely to reward them. I hope this analogy helps simplify the relationship between God and man, so that all of the ignorant sinners can semi-understand what God wants from them. I tried to limit my vocabulary, just for them.

Absolute nonsense, you make God sound like a dictator, if the Father was one, you would have no free will, when you understand God`s love, he is truly loving, just like a good Father that he is.

[JennyD]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

Absolute nonsense, you make God sound like a dictator, if the Father was one, you would have no free will, when you understand God`s love, he is truly loving, just like a good Father that he is.

Could you demonstrate for us, using Scripture, where you get your apparent belief that God does not cast all who refuse His will into eternal torment?

[s@ul77]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

Could you demonstrate for us, using Scripture, where you get your apparent belief that God does not cast all who refuse His will into eternal torment?

Where did i say that those who turn away from God will not escape eternal torment. God gives us free will and yes we make mistakes, take John Newton for example, he was a slave master until one night he asked for God`s help, God answered and saved him from death.

• He campianed against slavery and wrote most of the song "Amazing Grace", which was about God`s grace.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

Where did i say that those who turn away from God will not escape eternal torment. God gives us free will and yes we make mistakes, take John Newton for example, he was a slave master until one night he asked for God`s help, God answered and saved him from death.

• He campianed against slavery and wrote most of the song "Amazing Grace", which was about God`s grace.

Son, what have you got against slavery? God prescribes it in the Holy Bible, so it's good enough for me!

How old are you boy? Does your teacher let you use such awful grammar and spelling?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

[…] take John Newton for example, he was a slave master until one night he asked for God`s help, God answered and saved him from death.

• He campianed against slavery and wrote most of the song Amazing Grace, which was about God`s grace.

Let me tell you about John Newton: he was a non-conformist, or as we say, a false Christian. He understood God’s approval of the slave trade, as laid out in the Bible, where slaves are abundant.

Despite God taking pity on him and the rest of the crew by not having them drowned in a storm, he never thanked God properly and remained a false Christian and continued with the slave trade by serving on board many more slave vessels (and rightly so too.)

He was cursed by God with a stroke (probably for being a false Christian) and that sent him looking for a job with the church of England (more false Christians) and any other denomination (of false Christians) that would take him.

It was 24 years after leaving the slave trade that he decided to become an abolitionist, so there was no connection between the two.

The hymns he wrote were actually mainly the work of William Cowper the poet.

All in all an unremarkable man who upset God who cursed him. If you were taught anything else, they were telling lies to you.

[s@ul77]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

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Let me tell you about John Newton: he was a non-conformist, or as we say, a false Christian. He understood God’s approval of the slave trade, as laid out in the Bible, where slaves are abundant.

Despite God taking pity on him and the rest of the crew by not having them drowned in a storm, he never thanked God properly and remained a false Christian and continued with the slave trade by serving on board many more slave vessels (and rightly so too.)

He was cursed by God with a stroke (probably for being a false Christian) and that sent him looking for a job with the church of England (more false Christians) and any other denomination (of false Christians) that would take him.

It was 24 years after leaving the slave trade that he decided to become an abolitionist, so there was no connection between the two.

The hymns he wrote were actually mainly the work of William Cowper the poet.

All in all an unremarkable man who upset God who cursed him. If you were taught anything else, they were telling lies to you.

I would like to see factual evidence to support that view above.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: My Relationship to Jesus Christ

I would like to see factual evidence to support that view above.

Yes, that's right, never bother doing your own research, just spout off what bits you can remember of what you think you were told.

Ol' Bathfire will make sure that you never have to lift a finger to live a worthwhile life. Why, just drop me a PM and I'll make sure you never need work again!

Get off your ass and do some work!!!

Remember, Google is your friend*.


(*Except on all matters concerning morals, ethics, life, the afterlife, crime and punishment, sexual orientation, male and female roles, bringing up children, resurrection, death, belief of any sort, sin and blessings, etc. in which case consult KJV1611)