[JennyD]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Good news! My Sister in Christ Talitha has graciously volunteered to make sure you don't trip and injure yourself.

Good night, and may God guide you down from your Jesus high into His loving arms.

[Talitha]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Good news! My Sister in Christ Talitha has graciously volunteered to make sure you don't trip and injure yourself.

Good night, and may God guide you down from your Jesus high into His loving arms.

Praise JESUS!!!

Do we have some new potential Soldiers for Christ?

[Patrick1990]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Ahhhhh.....no.
We can pass judgment upon you.

Leviticus 19:15 In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

1 Corinthians 2:15But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.

1 Corinthians 5:12-13 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

1 Corinthians 6:2-3 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?

I am terribly sorry Pastor, but you are taking words way out of context here! These glorious verses indicates that it is not forbidden to judge people - however, only GOD condemns to eternal damnation!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Paddy,
Let me explain it this way: Let's say there was a drunken sinner standing in the middle of the road. Now, I am on the side of the road and I see a large truck approaching at a high rate of speed. So I say to the drunken sinner "If you don't get out of the road, you are going to be killed."

The sinner looks at me and says "What? Why do you want to kill me?" I reply "Get out of the road or you will surely die." The sinner says "You can't tell me what to do!" and sits down. The truck runs him down, splattering his sinning guts over 200 yards of asphalt.

I didn't kill the man, as a matter of fact, I tried to help him. That is what we do here, we try to help. By telling someone they are damned to Hell, we are just pointing out that the sinners who come here are in grave danger of going to Hell. We are not the ones doing the damning, we are just pointing out that God's Holy 18-wheeler is bearng down on all sinners all the time, ready to turn them into a bloody smear on the Highway to Hell.

Does that make it easier to understand Paddy?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

That is a Godly analogy, Captain A. Let's pray this helps Patrick the Starfish understand why it is better to be a vertebrate, and to worship God in order to avoid His Divine Judgment . . . and also that True Christians(tm) are not condemning anyone to Hell, but rather informing them of the inevitable consequences of mocking God.

[JennyD]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Patrick, have you abandoned Jesus already?

I so hoped you would become Saved(c) and join us all in Heaven!

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Pastor, I am insulted blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah!............................................. ..........................blah
.................................................. ................................blah blah
..........blah.............GOD bless!

Wait a minute! Don't run away so fast. I know your spirituality is compromised, but I couldn't help but notice that glorious picture of our Sweet, White, Blond Haired and Blue Eyed Jesus that you posted. There has to be a glimmer of hope for you as you had the wisdom to NOT submit to the notion that Jesus was a scrawny little sand kneegrow, who looked like Obama Bin Laden and didn't use under-arm deodorant or Charmin. For that, I must thank you and add even more proof that Jesus is WHITE.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Lest we forget; people whom consumes Crustacean fish! For it is within God's indisputable will, that eating shell-fish is an abomination unto our Earthly flesh!

Patrick, you obviously seem to want to rest in the bosom of Jesus, but you should curb your enthusiasm for preaching the Word until you have read the whole Bible. God certainly did command us not to eat crustaceans, but Jesus very clearly rescinded that commandment:

...Do ye not perceive, that whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him; Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly, and goeth out into the draught, purging all meats? Mark 7:18-19

Personally, I love nothing better than a good lobster dinner or a church clambake.

you must keep in mind that English is not my mother language as I am from Denmark, which is located in northern Europe!

Northern Europe is about as close to Northern Hell as you can get without dying. There are very few True Christians™ in Europe (Pastor Wide Open is a notable exception), so it will be especially hard for you to find your way to God, but do not give up hope, since nothing is beyond the power of Jesus.

I attend a local church named Faderhuset (The Father House)

Frankly, that sounds a bit gay to me. You need to leave your gay church and ask God for forgiveness. And for Heaven's sake, stop lying about the picture!

[Patrick1990]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Paddy,
Let me explain it this way: Let's say there was a drunken sinner standing in the middle of the road. Now, I am on the side of the road and I see a large truck approaching at a high rate of speed. So I say to the drunken sinner "If you don't get out of the road, you are going to be killed."

The sinner looks at me and says "What? Why do you want to kill me?" I reply "Get out of the road or you will surely die." The sinner says "You can't tell me what to do!" and sits down. The truck runs him down, splattering his sinning guts over 200 yards of asphalt.

I didn't kill the man, as a matter of fact, I tried to help him. That is what we do here, we try to help. By telling someone they are damned to Hell, we are just pointing out that the sinners who come here are in grave danger of going to Hell. We are not the ones doing the damning, we are just pointing out that God's Holy 18-wheeler is bearng down on all sinners all the time, ready to turn them into a bloody smear on the Highway to Hell.

Does that make it easier to understand Paddy?

O noble Capt. Portway! That is exactly what I recently said, nobody but GOD has the authority to condemn anyone to eternal damnation!

Patrick, have you abandoned Jesus already?

I so hoped you would become Saved© and join us all in Heaven!

Hello JennyD! No, I most certainly have not abandoned my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ! I love Jesus sooooo much I'd hold hands with him and take Him out for long walks on the beach during the sunset! Even though our local hate-mongering, ignorant atheist-fanatic groups tells me that Jesus doesn't actually love me, he only wants to get in my pants! HA! Like Jesus would turn out to be such a faggot! Just because he wore a robe and had long hair! I laugh at those mind-wobbling infidels!

Wait a minute! Don't run away so fast. I know your spirituality is compromised, but I couldn't help but notice that glorious picture of our Sweet, White, Blond Haired and Blue Eyed Jesus that you posted. There has to be a glimmer of hope for you as you had the wisdom to NOT submit to the notion that Jesus was a scrawny little sand kneegrow, who looked like Obama Bin Laden and didn't use under-arm deodorant or Charmin. For that, I must thank you and add even more proof that Jesus is WHITE.

Of course Jesus was of pure, aryan descent! Because first of all, orientals doesn't have souls, negroes cannot be associated with anything Holy and/or Godly due to class restrictions, eskimoes are all incestous, inbred bastards, Arabs are terrorist sand-monkeys and Jews are big-nosed, sub-human species.

What's left, you may ask? Latinos and caucasians. Of course, latinos are out of the question seeing as they're border-jumping tequila-sipping fags-in-denial, so that leaves us with a pure, white, blond-haired and blue-eyed babby Jesus.

Patrick, you obviously seem to want to rest in the bosom of Jesus, but you should curb your enthusiasm for preaching the Word until you have read the whole Bible. God certainly did command us not to eat crustaceans, but Jesus very clearly rescinded that commandment:

...Do ye not perceive, that whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him; Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly, and goeth out into the draught, purging all meats? Mark 7:18-19

Personally, I love nothing better than a good lobster dinner or a church clambake.

Why come Jesus contradicts the Word of His Father, our LORD and GOD?

Northern Europe is about as close to Northern Hell as you can get without dying. There are very few True Christians™ in Europe (Pastor Wide Open is a notable exception), so it will be especially hard for you to find your way to God, but do not give up hope, since nothing is beyond the power of Jesus.

You are so very right! This place is literally infested with sinners, homosexuals, atheists, agnostics, false bleeding-heart Christians, fag-enablers, mudslums, jews, and the list of atrocious groups of sheeples continues!

Also, it has been brought to my unfortunate attention that your firs tname is Ahimaaz, which sounds suspiciously a lot like the name of your average muslim suicide-bomber!

GOD bless our terrific fundamentalism!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

You are very enthusiastic son. We may have to work with you a while, to teach you to temper that youthful energy a bit, but you seem like you're on your way to being Saved! Praise!

[s@ul77]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

O noble Capt. Portway! That is exactly what I recently said, nobody but GOD has the authority to condemn anyone to eternal damnation!

Hello JennyD! No, I most certainly have not abandoned my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ! I love Jesus sooooo much I'd hold hands with him and take Him out for long walks on the beach during the sunset! Even though our local hate-mongering, ignorant atheist-fanatic groups tells me that Jesus doesn't actually love me, he only wants to get in my pants! HA! Like Jesus would turn out to be such a faggot! Just because he wore a robe and had long hair! I laugh at those mind-wobbling infidels!

Of course Jesus was of pure, aryan descent! Because first of all, orientals doesn't have souls, negroes cannot be associated with anything Holy and/or Godly due to class restrictions, eskimoes are all incestous, inbred bastards, Arabs are terrorist sand-monkeys and Jews are big-nosed, sub-human species.

What's left, you may ask? Latinos and caucasians. Of course, latinos are out of the question seeing as they're border-jumping tequila-sipping fags-in-denial, so that leaves us with a pure, white, blond-haired and blue-eyed babby Jesus.

Why come Jesus contradicts the Word of His Father, our LORD and GOD?

You are so very right! This place is literally infested with sinners, homosexuals, atheists, agnostics, false bleeding-heart Christians, fag-enablers, mudslums, jews, and the list of atrocious groups of sheeples continues!

Also, it has been brought to my unfortunate attention that your firs tname is Ahimaaz, which sounds suspiciously a lot like the name of your average muslim suicide-bomber!

GOD bless our terrific fundamentalism!

Oh dear, have you not learned anything from The Bible, what does Jesus say:

Matthew 22:35 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Since anyone can be your neighbour then you should love all people regardless of their faults, it is our job to bring those people to God. Notice how Jesus did not say love only your next door neighbour. Jesus would talk in Parables as only those that really want to find Jesus would understand what he is saying, so if you wish to hate others then do not expect to find Jesus, you will find what you want to find

[JennyD]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Hello JennyD! No, I most certainly have not abandoned my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ! I love Jesus sooooo much I'd hold hands with him and take Him out for long walks on the beach during the sunset! Even though our local hate-mongering, ignorant atheist-fanatic groups tells me that Jesus doesn't actually love me, he only wants to get in my pants! HA! Like Jesus would turn out to be such a faggot! Just because he wore a robe and had long hair! I laugh at those mind-wobbling infidels!

Once again, I see you have ignored God's Word for the images presented by homosexuality-promoting Renaissance sodomites.

Kindly show us in the Bible where it describes Jesus as having long hair, which God describes as "a shame" for a man to have?

Of course Jesus was of pure, aryan descent! Because first of all, orientals doesn't have souls, negroes cannot be associated with anything Holy and/or Godly due to class restrictions, eskimoes are all incestous, inbred bastards, Arabs are terrorist sand-monkeys and Jews are big-nosed, sub-human species.

Wrong, again.

Do you even know what "Aryan" means?

Jesus is GOD. He is not of any human race's descent.

Why are you mocking Jesus by claiming He is anything other than God? I have half a mind to give you some infraction points, but will let it slide due to your enthusiasm, even in error.

Why come Jesus contradicts the Word of His Father, our LORD and GOD?

Jesus IS God. He can change His mind if He so chooses.

Also, it has been brought to my unfortunate attention that your first name is Ahimaaz, which sounds suspiciously a lot like the name of your average muslim suicide-bomber!

You're questioning one of our Verified, Saved© True Christian™ brothers, Patrick. Not a good choice. And further proof that you do not know God's Word, or you'd know the origin of his name, given to three different men in the Bible.

Oh dear, have you not learned anything from The Bible, what does Jesus say:

Matthew 22:35 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Since anyone can be your neighbour

Yes, Saul, anyone can be my neighbour, should he choose to be, but not everyone is.

Who is my neighbour? Let's ask Jesus!

25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

[s@ul77]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

Yes, Saul, anyone can be my neighbour, should he choose to be, but not everyone is.

Who is my neighbour? Let's ask Jesus!

What would you do if you cam across a black/homosexual man in need of help, would you do as the priest did or as the Samaritan did. Anyone can say Lord, but can you follow in his footsteps and do the things he asks us to do?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

What would you do if you cam across a black/homosexual man in need of help, would you do as the priest did or as the Samaritan did. Anyone can say Lord, but can you follow in his footsteps and do the things he asks us to do?

Firstly I think it is unlikely that a True Christian™ would come across a nigra homer.

Secondly, I think a bit of common sense here is in order, you’re not much good to anyone if you catch AIDS from him – he’s going to be pushing up daisies soon enough, you’ve got a wife and family to whom you have a Godly duty.

Thirdly, you seem awful generous with Jesus’ Love - it isn't cheap just because it's not your own you know! You know what Luke 19:27 says? How do we know if this darkie queer is a True Christian™? If he is not, it seems clear that he is no neighbor, and at the 2nd Coming, he’ll be shouting like a stuck pig.

I think that I’d leave the idea of help to Jesus – if I heard His voice saying it’s OK, I’d go for it, otherwise Matthew 8:22 But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead. seems appropriate.

[JennyD]

Re: It's A Miracle, I've Found Christ!

What would you do if you cam across a black/homosexual man in need of help, would you do as the priest did or as the Samaritan did. Anyone can say Lord, but can you follow in his footsteps and do the things he asks us to do?

Your hypothetical situation is not relevant to this discussion.

I showed you how Jesus defines our neighbor. It is NOT everybody, but those who show mercy to us. That is whom Jesus commanded the lawyer to love.

If you bother to read the Bible, you will see that neighbor is defined by context as either:

One who shows mercy to you
One who lives in proximity to you
One who is of your people

That's it. Nowhere does the Bible tell us that "everybody" is our neighbor. That is part of your modern, anti-Bible, hippie love approach to religion . . . which has little or nothing to do with Christianity.