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  • Mistress Cookie
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Remember, ladies, that if you usually carry a few spare stones in your purse (as I do), it's important to alternate which hand you carry it in. The weight of the stones can cause a shoulder to droop, or worse...built up one arm bigger than the other

    This is no joke.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    I've just gotten wind of the fact that you guys are planning to have effigies of "Count Chocula" as part of the festivities for the kids. I'd like to warn you off that one. He's a terrifying demon and we don't need Christian kids wetting their pants in the middle of the fun.

    Ronald McDonald, Mario and Harry Potter are fine.

    Leave a comment:


  • Benedict A. Davis
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Does anyone know if I will be able to park my RV In any of the Church Mega-Parking lots? As usual I would be willing to offer a donation above and beyond my normal tithe.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Originally posted by Mrs. P Wintersnow View Post
    To Miss Charli. I am not in Sydney any more. I have relocated to satan's paradise in QLD. There is much sin to tackle here and getting those skanky harlot metermaids off the streets was just a first step.

    I was in Sydney though at Mardi Gras time and had Tea and biscuits with Rev. Fred Nile. He is such a lovely fellow, even if a little open minded in his views.
    God Bless Fred Nile!

    Mrs Wintersnow. Please advise if there is to be a meter maid stoning on the sinful gold coast.

    We would love to join you. Tho Daddy is undecided as to whether we should fly Virgin or QuaintArse.

    He says they are both owned by Lucifer!

    Leave a comment:


  • James Dewitt
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Originally posted by Mrs. P Wintersnow View Post



    But I don't arrive in America until the 18th!! Even though I arrive 20 minutes prior to leaving Australia, (crossing the dateline) I will still be a day late!

    Oh Gosh, please tell me that it is a several day event!

    YIC

    Mrs.P.Wintersnow
    Are your tickets refundable? If not PM me and I will purchase new tickets for you, my treat first class naturally. It is an event that you can not miss. YIC James

    Leave a comment:


  • Phebe Carlyle
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Originally posted by Dirk View Post
    Saturday July 17th is the date that has been set so far. I would like to ask you True Christians™ is you are able to make it. The event starts at 11 AM, because at 10AM we start with a sermon by Pastor Ezekiel and words from Rev. Jim Osborne. After that: It's party time!



    But I don't arrive in America until the 18th!! Even though I arrive 20 minutes prior to leaving Australia, (crossing the dateline) I will still be a day late!

    Oh Gosh, please tell me that it is a several day event!

    YIC

    Mrs.P.Wintersnow

    To Miss Charli. I am not in Sydney any more. I have relocated to satan's paradise in QLD. There is much sin to tackle here and getting those skanky harlot metermaids off the streets was just a first step.

    I was in Sydney though at Mardi Gras time and had Tea and biscuits with Rev. Fred Nile. He is such a lovely fellow, even if a little open minded in his views.

    Leave a comment:


  • James Dewitt
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Originally posted by Justin Z View Post
    I am sure we could use a homosexual. No one likes them. I am sure people would turn a blind eye to that law if they new just another homo was being used. Who doesn't like throwing rocks at them?
    Brother Justin, I do understand you heart felt desire to obey they strict commands of God. God also commands us to follow sickurlaw. That is why it is so very important that the White House and our nation be ran by a Christian. The following scripture show us some of who we can stone. The festival serves two purposes,1 to get your throwing skills honed to a razor sharp level. 2 to show the rest of the nation what they should be doing. 2012 is just around the corner.

    Leviticus 20:2 Again, thou shalt say to the children of Israel, Whosoever he be of the children of Israel, or of the strangers that sojourn in Israel, that giveth any of his seed unto Molech; he shall surely be put to death: the people of the land shall stone him with stones.

    Leviticus 20:27 A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them.

    Leviticus 24:14 Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him.

    Leviticus 24:16 And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the LORD, shall be put to death.

    Leviticus 24:23 And Moses spake to the children of Israel, that they should bring forth him that had cursed out of the camp, and stone him with stones. And the children of Israel did as the LORD commanded Moses.

    Numbers 14:10 But all the congregation bade stone them with stones. And the glory of the LORD appeared in the tabernacle of the congregation before all the children of Israel.

    Numbers 15:35 And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp.
    Numbers 15:36 And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.

    Deuteronomy 13:10 And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

    Deuteronomy 17:5 Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, even that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die.

    Deuteronomy 21:21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

    Deuteronomy 22:21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

    Deuteronomy 22:24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

    Start collecting your stones today, a stone that is not collected is a terrible thing to waste.

    Leave a comment:


  • Justin Z
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
    Brother Palmer I am sad to have to say this. As you know we must follow sickular law. It is unfortunate that we will not be able(this year) to actually stone someone. Brother Dirk and I are in heavy and heated prayer sessions for and answer. We have a few ideas and are waiting for Jesus to respond.

    I have been working in close consort with the Creation Lab at Landover on just what kind of rocks we should use. Today I will begin testing in my back yard with river rocks ranging in size from a jumbo egg to that of a soft ball.

    Last week I employed the three nigra boys of Lamont Niggleston ( the nigra fella that works at the truck stop) to look for river rocks. I paid the fools little fellas five shinny brand new silver dollars. So far they have collected 1800lbs of stones from the rivers and streams around Freehold.
    Over the next few days and weeks Brother Dirk and I will test others.

    Brother Hutchins I think I will need your trucking firms help. We are going to need a lot of stones. I also would like to build my personal rock pile to around 150 to 200 tons. YIC James Dewitt, True Christian™
    I am sure we could use a homosexual. No one likes them. I am sure people would turn a blind eye to that law if they new just another homo was being used. Who doesn't like throwing rocks at them?

    Leave a comment:


  • James Dewitt
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Originally posted by Palmer C. Eldrich View Post
    Who is going to get stoned, first? Is there a list?
    Brother Palmer I am sad to have to say this. As you know we must follow sickular law. It is unfortunate that we will not be able(this year) to actually stone someone. Brother Dirk and I are in heavy and heated prayer sessions for and answer. We have a few ideas and are waiting for Jesus to respond.

    I have been working in close consort with the Creation Lab at Landover on just what kind of rocks we should use. Today I will begin testing in my back yard with river rocks ranging in size from a jumbo egg to that of a soft ball.

    Last week I employed the three nigra boys of Lamont Niggleston ( the nigra fella that works at the truck stop) to look for river rocks. I paid the fools little fellas five shinny brand new silver dollars. So far they have collected 1800lbs of stones from the rivers and streams around Freehold.
    Over the next few days and weeks Brother Dirk and I will test others.

    Brother Hutchins I think I will need your trucking firms help. We are going to need a lot of stones. I also would like to build my personal rock pile to around 150 to 200 tons. YIC James Dewitt, True Christian(TM)

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    any real "live" stonings happening?

    Leave a comment:


  • Nobar King
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Originally posted by Palmer C. Eldrich View Post
    Who is going to get stoned, first? Is there a list?
    I'm preparing effigies of Saddam Hussein, OBL, Kurt Cobain, and Fred Rogers. The bodies are pretty simple to make with some old clothes, and I just tape a picture of the face to the mannequin. They don't even need feet or hands, but gloves are easy enough to pin on. My special secret is stashing bags of pig's blood inside the head so that a well aimed throw is rewarded with a dramatic show of gore. I can't wait.

    Leave a comment:


  • Palmer C. Eldrich
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Who is going to get stoned, first? Is there a list?

    Leave a comment:


  • Dirk
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Saturday July 17th is the date that has been set so far. I would like to ask you True Christians™ is you are able to make it. The event starts at 11 AM, because at 10AM we start with a sermon by Pastor Ezekiel and words from Rev. Jim Osborne. After that: It's party time!

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Originally posted by Mrs. P Wintersnow View Post
    So, my quandary is; should I just dump the soft smooth river stones and just opt for the razor-sharp stones for "more" impact?
    Mrs Wintersnow,

    I have been following your writings on here with enthusiasm. It is so great to see the work you are doing for Christ in Seedney.

    Please don't discard your excess stones as I am sure they will come in handy at some time as we strive to turn Australia from it's wicked sinful ways to a life of Glory for God.

    Daddy and myself would be happy to fly to Seedney at any time to assist you in stoning the perverse. When is the Oxford St homer Mardi Gras? Maybe that could be our first public stoning for God.

    Kind regards,
    Charli.

    Leave a comment:


  • Nobar King
    replied
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    I'm looking forward to the festival. Stoner's corner is going to be a rip-roaring good time. I'm planning the safety committee. We'll be arranging for complimentary mini hard-hats for children under thirteen. The final meeting of the safety committee will be next week on Thursday to discuss who is going to cut the grass in the field to an appropriate level, and to determine who wants to volunteer for monitoring the bonfires for safety and to ensure that they don't smoke too much.

    Leave a comment:

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