Jesus hates Mingers

[Talitha]

Are you ugly?


* Were you hit in the face with the ugly stick at Birth?
* Are you so ugly, your mate won't have to worry about birth control...your face will do just fine?
* When you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you?
* Can you remember when you stuck your head out of the car window and got arrested for mooning?

Why would Jesus™ want a load of ugly people running around spoiling the view in Heaven?
Let's face it, If you are ugly, Jesus™ just doesn't want you and you are looking at spending the rest of Eternity in Hell.

Biblical Proof

Leviticus 21:16 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
:17 Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.
:18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
:19 Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
:20 Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
:21 No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.

There is only one form of help available to you.
Contact your nearest Pastor today and speak to him about your problem. Have your Credit Card in hand, and I'm sure he can arrange for his entire Congregation to Pray for your Soul.
.

[SUV]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

Word, Sister Talitha! WORD!!!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

Truthful words sister, the wise have long said that beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes strait to the bone.

[bridging-the-gap]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

that is so harsh!

Are you ugly?
[ATTACH]170[/ATTACH][ATTACH]171[/ATTACH][ATTACH]172[/ATTACH]

* Were you hit in the face with the ugly stick at Birth?
* Are you so ugly, your mate won't have to worry about birth control...your face will do just fine?
* When you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you?
* Can you remember when you stuck your head out of the car window and got arrested for mooning?

Why would Jesus™ want a load of ugly people running around spoiling the view in Heaven?
Let's face it, If you are ugly, Jesus™ just doesn't want you and you are looking at spending the rest of Eternity in Hell.

Biblical Proof

Leviticus 21:16 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
:17 Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.
:18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
:19 Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
:20 Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
:21 No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.

There is only one form of help available to you.
Contact your nearest Pastor today and speak to him about your problem. Have your Credit Card in hand, and I'm sure he can arrange for his entire Congregation to Pray for your Soul.

.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

Daaaaaang Sister Tali,

The least you could have done is put a disclaimer on the title....something like "don't look if you have a weak stomach" or such.

I wasn't expecting my eyeballs to be so horribly offended.

Now I have to look at my favorite angel to get those images out of my mind.

Those people could make blind people cry.

:::Shudder:::::: Sister Thumper

[Talitha]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

that is so harsh!

I know, and I apologise for posting this Thread without a warning.

Sorry Sister Thumper.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

Sweet merciful crawdads, by the bible's standards, if there were a heaven, there are probably only about 200 people who would make it in!

And what about those amongst the landover congregation who are unfortunate looking? Does that mean they then require plastic surgery??

[lilith]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

Sweet merciful crawdads, by the bible's standards, if there were a heaven, there are probably only about 200 people who would make it in!

And what about those amongst the landover congregation who are unfortunate looking? Does that mean they then require plastic surgery??

No need of that Rachael.
By an amazing coincidence,the more money they have,the better looking they become.
Even a man who could only be described as the back end of a bus will be handsome as David - just as long as his bank balance is big enough to provide a distraction from his face.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

And what about those amongst the landover congregation who are unfortunate looking? Does that mean they then require plastic surgery??

I beg your pardon? There are no "unfortunate looking" people in this church, Mrs. Van Hellsagging - I dare you to name just one. One!

Even a man who could only be described as the back end of a bus will be handsome as David - just as long as his bank balance is big enough to provide a distraction from his face.

Cynicism = crows feet; the murder of lines etched around your bloodshot eyes proves that, a crinkled cautionary tale for ladies everywhere.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

I beg your pardon? There are no "unfortunate looking" people in this church, Mrs. Van Hellsagging - I dare you to name just one. One!

That's not fair, I have to pick just ONE?

[Talitha]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

Sweet merciful crawdads, by the bible's standards, if there were a heaven, there are probably only about 200 people who would make it in!

And what about those amongst the landover congregation who are unfortunate looking? Does that mean they then require plastic surgery??

Listen Strumpet!
There are no Mingers within the walled gardens of Freehold. jesus nor the Pastor's will allow then any where near this sacred place.
We have no need of Plastic Surgeons here at Landover.

Oh, just as a further apology to those affected by my earlier pictures, here is Sister Thumpers favourite Angel again.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

While I may disagree with you on many things, I must agree Sister T's favorite angel is quite nice on the eyes after those mingers.

Those poor unfortunate mingers. You should be ashamed of yourselves!

[Talitha]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

While I may disagree with you on many things, I must agree Sister T's favorite angel is quite nice on the eyes after those mingers.

Those poor unfortunate mingers. You should be ashamed of yourselves!

I can understand why you feel so bitter about my telling "How it is". Looking at your picture I think maybe I should have used it as one of my examples at the start of this Thread.
Listen, Helminger; God states it quite clearly that ugly people, and that includes deformities, will not be allowed into The Kingdom of Heaven. I cannot feel ashamed for telling The Truth™.

YIC
Talitha

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

I can understand why you feel so bitter about my telling "How it is". Looking at your picture I think maybe I should have used it as one of my examples at the start of this Thread.
Listen, Helminger; God states it quite clearly that ugly people, and that includes deformities, will not be allowed into The Kingdom of Heaven. I cannot feel ashamed for telling The Truth™.

YIC
Talitha

Oh I agree.
Your beliefs do support everything you've said here.
Which is another reason why christianity should be as extinct as the dinosaurs.

[SUV]

Re: Jesus hates Mingers

So I take it no one's going to post a picture of Li'l Davey/BRIAN PEPPERS/Carnie Guy in this thread?

SUV