[VictoryOS]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

This is not a clean joke. The point of the joke is that priest #1 molests children.

It's funny because it's true!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!

[pervertforlife]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I have a joke I have a joke!

The Bible.

DAMN THAT WAS FUNNY!

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

The Bible.

DAMN THAT WAS FUNNY!

Yes, bible is also about laughter and joy.

Psalm 2:4-5 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the LORD shall have them in derision. Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.

I can't wait to laugh with Jesus at sinners in hell.

[diablo666]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

That surprises you?

not at all, religious officials are famous for touching little boys

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

not at all, religious officials Catholics are famous for touching little boys

Fixed.

[JWforever]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Why do you always take two Baptists hunting with you?

If you take one, he drinks all your beer. If you take two, they don't drink any

[Zechariah Smyth]

Why do you always take two Baptists hunting with you?

If you take one, he drinks all your beer. If you take two, they don't drink any

In order for a joke to be funny, the premise has to be believable. I simply can't see any chance of going hunting with someone who doesn't believe in Jesus, so that makes the whole joke fall flat.
Posted via Mobile Device

[A Follower]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A muslim, an atheist, an illegal immigrant and a communist walk into a bar.



The bartender asks: "What can I get you Mr. President?"

[ChristianBeliever]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you call a group of Mexicans running down a hill?
A jailbreak.
What do you call two Mexicans fighting?
Juan-on-Juan

[Abner Leopold]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: How do you turn your dishwasher into a sweeper?
A: Buy HER a broom!

[Good Christian Woman]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A priest and a rabbi are in a bar. They both begin to get tired and the rabbi suggests they call it a night.

"Yeah, I think I'll go home and screw an alter boy," says the priest.

"For how much?" says the rabbi.

[Good Christian Woman]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you say to a Negro in a suit?

"Will the defendant please rise..."

[Abner Leopold]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Why do negros only have nightmares?
A: The last one that had a dream got shot.

Q:Why do negros ride all slouched over in their cars?
A: They don't know the mirrors are adjustable.

Q: Why did God give mexicans a nose?
A: So they would have something to pick in the off season.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Why do negros only have nightmares?
A: The last one that had a dream got shot.

Q:Why do negros ride all slouched over in their cars?
A: They don't know the mirrors are adjustable.

Q: Why did God give mexicans a nose?
A: So they would have something to pick in the off season.

I fail to see what these "jokes" have to do with being Christian.