[Jared Beacon]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

An atheist, a Christian and a Muslim are sitting in a room. The Christian pulls out a shotgun and blows their heads off.

Gets me every time

[Sister Kitty]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

An atheist, a Christian and a Muslim are sitting in a room. The Christian pulls out a shotgun and blows their heads off.

Gets me every time

Sounds more like something the atheist would do.

[Jared Beacon]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Sounds more like something the atheist would do.

You think an atheist would have the balls to fire a gun?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Sounds more like something the atheist would do.

Amen, Sister.

True Christians(tm) are never violent unless they are wearing a uniform. Even then, they only ever shoot at civilians if they are on deployment, and when they do they use Godly American M-16s and F-16s, not shotguns. Shotguns are for birds.

Muslims can only operate RPGs, AK-47s, and explosives, but they will kill anyone, especially other Muslims and their own daughters.

Atheists are monkeys so they usually just fling feces, but one might get a few rounds off a shotgun with a little luck. Therefore all shotgun murderers are atheists.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

You think an atheist would have the balls to fire a gun?

My friend, this is a thread for Good, Clean Christian Jokes. Your joke was neither good, nor clean, and now you are mentioning male genitalia in a backsass to a True Christian™ Sister, a dear friend of mine.

Please remember your place as Unsaved Trash and carefully watch both your tongue and tone when addressing your betters. This includes all Forum Members, True Christians™ and Pastors.

In Christ

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

You think an atheist would have the balls to fire a gun?

Yes. 250 million dead at the hands of atheists in the last century alone.

[Jared Beacon]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

My friend, this is a thread for Good, Clean Christian Jokes. Your joke was neither good, nor clean, and now you are mentioning male genitalia in a backsass to a True Christian™ Sister, a dear friend of mine.

Please remember your place as Unsaved Trash and carefully watch both your tongue and tone when addressing your betters. This includes all Forum Members, True Christians™ and Pastors.

In Christ

Please forgive me Brother Harold. My joke was neither well thought out or suitable. I watched a Dane Cook DVD, I think his wild on the edge comedy has influenced me.

I will resort to an evening of prayer and bible reading as a cleanser to this truly embarrassing episode.

2 Kings 8:11And he settled his countenance stedfastly, until he was ashamed: and the man of God wept.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Please forgive me Brother Harold. My joke was neither well thought out or suitable. I watched a Dane Cook DVD, I think his wild on the edge comedy has influenced me.

I will resort to an evening of prayer and bible reading as a cleanser to this truly embarrassing episode.

2 Kings 8:11And he settled his countenance stedfastly, until he was ashamed: and the man of God wept.

Of course I forgive you, young man. Jesus Christ commands us to do so:

Matthew 18:21-22 "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."

And welcome to God's favorite forum!

In Christ

[Jared Beacon]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I am humbled by your grace brother Harold , God bless you.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

O'Bummer BS Bingo

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

There’s a Mexican a black and a Puerto Rican in the back seat, who's driving?
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The cop.

[Brother Enoch]

My Dad's experience with a parking cop

My Dad and his wife were vacationing in Sarasota, Florida last week and enjoying a meal at a local restaurant.

When they came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. They went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored them and continued writing the ticket. Dad called him a Nazi turd. He glared at him and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So his wife (my stepmom) called him a ****-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more they abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Finally the cop left and my Dad called a taxi, leaving the car with the Obama bumper-sticker and the tickets all over the windshield behind.

[Nobar King]

Good clean Christian jokes

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. ... The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman... He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate... Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog... Then, it was already 1 P.M. And he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: - Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Please, let us trade back.. Amen!' The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. But you'll have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Good clean Christian jokes

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. ... The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman... He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate... Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog... Then, it was already 1 P.M. And he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: - Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Please, let us trade back.. Amen!' The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. But you'll have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.

That's not funny.. Have you been infested by a feminazi demon, Nobar?

[Nobar King]

Re: Good clean Christian jokes

Usually jokes are funny because they're true. In this case men don't ever get pregnant, so the joke is funny because it's not true. They guy asked God for something he shouldn't have, and he got pregnant. How is that not funny?