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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
PERSON 1 - my dog has no nose
PERSON 2 - how does it smell?
PERSON 1 - it can't
PERSON 1 - my dog has no nose
PERSON 2 - how does it smell?
PERSON 1 - it can't
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
Q: What do you get when you put two Baptists in a bathtub? A: Clean Christians!
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
Yes well these "jokes" are getting rather strained. Recently I heard a good one though! First you need to become an ex-President confined to a wheelchair. Then during photo ops, wheel yourself over to an attractive woman and whisper in her ear:
Q: Do you want to know who my favourite magician is?
A: David Cop-a-Feel.
Simultaneously you reach around and give her pussy a friendly grab. Ha ha ha!If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
I only know 2 jokes I'm afraid. I left one for Mary, which seemed suitable. Here's the other one..
What is the difference between a flea and a snake?
A snake crawls on its own belly Genesis 3:14
but a flea doesn't care whose belly it crawls onComment
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
How do you make african chicken soup?
First you steal a chicken, , , ,Apò toû hēlíou metástēthiComment
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
What do you call a nigra on a mediveal torture device?
A rack-coon!Comment
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
Father Probes: Today in Sunday School, I shall teach an age-appropriate lesson about the sacrament of sex.
Alter-Boy Billy: What is sex, Father?
Father Probes: It is what I'm doing to you right now, Billy.
The sad part is, this is no joke. This is what the Catholics really do!
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
What's the best men's clothing brand to buy a suit for courting a 14 year old?
Moore's!Comment
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
This one isn't particularly Christian, but I thought of it just now.
Q: What's the name of the Indian game where the dot-heads play golf with a ball of cheese?
A: Par-cheesy!
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
At some time in the distant future, Obama, Hillary and Donald are standing at the Throne of Heaven.
God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in."
God asks Obama first: “What do you believe?"
He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen".
God can’t stomach this hypocrisy and pulls the lever – flames roar and Obama disappears South.
God turns to Trump and says, "And you, Donald, what do you believe?"
Donald replies, “I believe I made America Great Again, I believe I spoke for the ordinary, forgotten people, forced North Korea to talk and I believe that I have left the world a better place.”
And God, almost in tears says, “Donald! Sit between Jesus and Me…”
Then God turns to Hillary and says, "What do you believe?"
Hillary says, "I believe in the Washington bandwagon, changing my mind when it is politically advantageous, and I believe You're in my seat. If You read my new book, it’ll tell You why…."sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
That is no joke Brother Bathfire, it's the sorry truth! Hellery Clinton is a fussy, impatient bag whose self importance leads her to think she is God! Only, God will have the last laugh when the Devil flays her alive and sears her exposed sinew with molten lead!Comment
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
Not really a full joke, but you know how at 3AM or so you always come up with the best snappy come-backs, which you should have said a few hours ago?
See, here's how the conversation should have gone:
"(Ahem) My eyes are up here"
"Yes, but your boobs are right here".Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!Comment
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
What is it called when a person's intestines are illegally harvested?
Organized crime.Comment
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
A Southern Baptist couple gets involved in a car crash on the way to their wedding and both die instantly. Since they were saved, they go to heaven. Arriving their, they ask: "We would like to marry in eternity. Is that possible?" Peter says: "Sure, I'll just go look for a best man."
Two months later the wedding takes place.
However, three years later...
"We don't get along anymore", the wife says. "We would like to have a divorce." "I'm sorry", Peter says. "It was already hard enough to find a best man. But lawyers never arrive there."Ecclesiastes 5:3b "A fool's voice is known by multitude of words."Comment
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes
What do you call Norwegian people with moles?
Normal.Comment
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