[Witch Hammer]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: How can you tell if a lesbean is bulldyke?

A: She rolls her own tampons and kick-starts her vibrator.

[Des]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q. What do you call a homer in a wheelchair?

A. Rolaids.

[ExGay Alex]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Good point, Brother Jim. Those 2 lines should read

"Peter points out Pastor Ezekiel Flint's clock.

“His clock has never moved since the day he was born,” said Peter. “And there’s Billy Graham’s clock. It hardly ever moves a tick.”"

Then, of course we have the whole problem of Peter.

I can testify that this is true about Pastor Zeke's clock. I was in his office once, and I remarked that I bet he has a really big clock, and he whipped it out. I asked it I could touch it and he let me. I had to hold it in both hands, due its massive weight and girth. And it's true, what they say. It hardly moved, just twitched a bit.

In fact, I have pictures of Pastor Ezekiel's beautiful, well-formed clock, a true treat if you want to see it.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Thank you Brother Alex. Please PM it to me. I can't wait to lay my eyes on it. I've often lain awake at night thinking about it - just how big it might be.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Rather than pretending they're Christians, papists should start worshipping these 'souls' that miraculously appear in Italian food. Especially because stingrays can have virgin births.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A black muslim who's on Obamacare goes to the doctor and says "I feel terrible."

The doctor examines him and then says:

"You need to pee and put your bowel movements in a bucket for a week, then throw in a dead fish and some rotten cabbage. Put a towel over your head and inhale the vapors for three days."

The black muslim does this and goes back to the doctor 3 days later and says "I feel wonderful! what was wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "You were homesick."

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Which planet in the solar system is kosher?
A: Jew-piter.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What's better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Counting Nuts

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence . One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree , out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me . . . . ."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you call someone who dedicates his life to saving homosexuals from the ravages of AIDS and the torment of unquenchable, everlasting Hellfire, so they can instead spend eternity in the loving arms of Christ?

A homophobic bigot.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

[Mike Miller]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A priest and a rabbi see a young boy.

The priest says, "Man, I would love to screw that boy."

The rabbi says, "I already screwed him out of $5 yesterday."

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Someone sent this to me the other day, and it gave me a chuckle.