[Phil Ander]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Miss DD,

I don't find this "joke" good, clean or Christian.
It's more like bad, dirty and heathen.


More to my taste is the following...


Two Angels are having a slight difference about their value to God. Adora has kept itself in the lofty realms, and flys gracefully with its beautiful wings and worships God 24/7


On the other hand, Philioterra has spent its time urging mankind to be kind to one another. In spreading the message to the world, one of Philoterra's wings is horribly burnt by a volcano.


Philoterra can barely make it back to the Seat of God. The damaged wing is just a stump.


Before the Majesty of God stand two Angels. Adora and Philoterra. God says "I choose Adora as my Favorite Angel", Philoterra says "Why is that, My Lord. Surely I have done Thy work and brought Mankind to reach an everlasting Covenant with You. Adora has done nothing of that."


God answered "It's a matter of a pinion"

[Basilissa]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

How do you get rid of Japanese beetles?

Send a Japanese Mark David Chapman.

Oh? I thought neem oil worked on these little buggers?


So, where do I get that "Japanese Mark David Chapman?" Is it a spray? Do I need to dilute it with water, or spray directly on affected plants?

I'm not sure why did you post this in the jokes section, dear, but if you say that works, I want to try it.

[Isabella White]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Oh? I thought neem oil worked on these little buggers?


So, where do I get that "Japanese Mark David Chapman?" Is it a spray? Do I need to dilute it with water, or spray directly on affected plants?

I'm not sure why did you post this in the jokes section, dear, but if you say that works, I want to try it.

Oh, Heaven help us all, dear Sister Basilissa; I'm not so sure that I follow Miss Domgaard's "joke", either. Your mention of neem oil reminds me of when I recently asked my gardener to ensure that my prize-winning roses were not suffering from any nasty garden mites. Just to be on the safe side, I sent him off to the gardening supply centre to get some remedies. At no time did Domingo mention this Chapman remedy being recommended, though. One wonder if Miss Domgaard is confused, and if she meant the type of Japanese beetles as shown below?

[Basilissa]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Oh, Heaven help us all, dear Sister Basilissa; I'm not so sure that I follow Miss Domgaard's "joke", either. Your mention of neem oil reminds me of when I recently asked my gardener to ensure that my prize-winning roses were not suffering from any nasty garden mites. Just to be on the safe side, I sent him off to the gardening supply centre to get some remedies. At no time did Domingo mention this Chapman remedy being recommended, though. One wonder if Miss Domgaard is confused, and if she meant the type of Japanese beetles as shown below?

Wow! Aren't these the Three Stooges, though?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

They don't look very happy. I think they need Jesus.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

They don't look very happy. I think they need Jesus.

I found their playlist:

Ruv me Do
Can't Buy me Ruv
Rucy in the Sky
Ret it Be
Penny Rane
Locky Laccoon
Yerrow Submaline

finishing off with a lousing chorus of The Rong and Winding Load.

[William afton]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

***Useless link promoting fornicatory foods removed by your friendly moderator***

[WWJDnow]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A man died and, when he met Jesus to be judged, was told that his faith wasn't quite strong enough for him to be admitted to Heaven, but wasn't so weak that he deserved to go to Hell. So Jesus said, "I'll give you a choice. You can spend one day in Heaven and one day in Hell, then you can decide where you want to spend eternity.

So the man spent a day in Heaven, and it was very pleasant, with harps and singing songs of praise to the Lord. Then he spent a day in Hell, where the weather was perfect and he joined all of his friends on the most amazing golf course he had ever seen, hit a hole in one, and celebrated all night at a magnificent banquet.

When he returned to Jesus for his final judgment, he said,"Heaven was nice, but I have to admit that I prefer Hell. So please send me there." Jesus obliged and damned the man to Hell.

When he got there, the man found that it was miserable. Hellfire was constantly burning him, brimstone filled his nostrils, he didn't see any of his friends, the golf course had been paved over, and the food was terrible. So he went to Satan and asked, "When I was here yesterday, Hell was such a pleasant place. What happened?"

"Well," Satan responded, "yesterday you were a recruit. Today you're an employee."

[Martha Chump]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Oh? I thought neem oil worked on these little buggers?

That nasty beetles joke (I could never think up such crudeness and call it humor) made me think of one.


What do you call it waking up and finding The Beatles in your bed?


The British Invasion of privacy.

[Des]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

That nasty beetles joke (I could never think up such crudeness and call it humor) made me think of one.


What do you call it waking up and finding The Beatles in your bed?


The British Invasion of privacy.

I find nothing funny about the Beatless. Their punk rock turned a generation into long haired Commie homos which caused us to lose in Vietnam.

[Diesel Stanford]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I find nothing funny about the Beatless. Their punk rock turned a generation into long haired Commie homos which caused us to lose in Vietnam.

That perhaps was God's punishment to America for their disobedience. Now luckily we are being blessed by Him thanks to the one and only Donald J. Trump

[Des]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

That perhaps was God's punishment to America for their disobedience. Now luckily we are being blessed by Him thanks to the one and only Donald J. Trump

Friend, considering that the Beatless were making pornographic music and America was allowing that speed metal smut on our radios, I'm inclined to agree.

[Martha Chump]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you call a girl who lived a life of harlotry only to end up with saggy pillows?

An ex-pert.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you call a girl who lived a life of harlotry only to end up with saggy pillows?

An ex-pert.

My mother has so-called "saggy pillows". Are you calling her what I think you said? This is so ridiculous - are there any forum moderators to remove this filth.

[Martha Chump]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

My mother has so-called "saggy pillows". Are you calling her what I think you said? This is so ridiculous - are there any forum moderators to remove this filth.

Good morning, doctor. My sincere apologies if my joke conjured up the memory of your mother. Rest assured, I have full confidence she was not a harlot, therefore does not apply to the joke's context. God bless.