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  • Captain_Planet
    Unsaved trash
    • Oct 2010
    • 1
    #1

    Dear christians...

    I am here to convert you all.



    May you all be enlightened in the next 10 seconds.

    By this phrase:

    located at the back of every bible if you squint your eyes

    23:66 "I am your holy father, as satan is your holy mother"

    Discuss this truth.
    Tags: None
    • Lycia The Repentant
      Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord
      Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2010
      • 2019
      #2
      Re: Dear christians...

      I don't generally listen to green-haired men who spend their free time showing young latino boys the power of heart.
      "Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

      An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
      Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
      My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
      Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
      An Open Question to All false christians.

        Comment

        • Titus Templeton
          Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
          Jesus macht frei
          True Christian™
          • Aug 2010
          • 5912
          #3
          Re: Dear christians...

          Hey Captain Homer, your Mom allowed you to use the PC?
          -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
          -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
          -Holocaust Jokes
          -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
          -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
          -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
          -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
          -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

            Comment

            • landoverlover
              Also loves Jesus and America
              True Christian™
              • Jul 2010
              • 828
              #4
              Re: Dear christians...

              Methinks you have been here before under another name and banned by our Godly forum admins. They will deal with you again. I'm not going to waste my time again spanking you with the facts about the poser LaVey.
              Leviticus 13:44 He is a leprous man, he is UNCLEAN: the priest shall pronounce him utterly UNCLEAN; his plague is in his head.

              2 Kings 6:25 And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver.



              King James Bible v1611

              Good Enough For JESUS....Good Enough For Me !!

              sigpic

                Comment

                • Rev. M. Rodimer
                  Honorary True Christian™
                  Forum Member
                  • May 2008
                  • 13996
                  #5
                  Re: Dear christians...

                  Originally posted by Captain_Planet View Post
                  I am here to convert you all.



                  May you all be enlightened in the next 10 seconds.

                  By this phrase:

                  located at the back of every bible if you squint your eyes

                  23:66 "I am your holy father, as satan is your holy mother"

                  Discuss this truth.


                  Boring troll is boring.
                  Bible boring? Nonsense!
                  Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                  You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Isaac Peters
                      Senior Pastor
                      Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                      Always Biblically correct
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 10639
                      #6
                      Re: Dear christians...

                      Wow, what a stunningly original and devastating bit of trolling that was.
                      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                      Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                      sigpic

                        Comment

                        • Brother Temperance
                          Senior Usher
                          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                          A very nice young man
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 15621
                          #7
                          Re: Dear christians...

                          Oddly enough, I'm not converted. Can I have 10 seconds of my life back now, please?
                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Ezekiel
                              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                               
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 78556
                              #8
                              Re: Dear christians...

                              Originally posted by Captain_Planet View Post
                              I am here to convert you all.



                              May you all be enlightened in the next 10 seconds.

                              By this phrase:

                              located at the back of every bible if you squint your eyes

                              23:66 "I am your holy father, as satan is your holy mother"

                              Discuss this truth.
                              Lavey was a joo pimp who died penniless. He's down in hell right now being peeled like a grape.

                              Better read THIS first, godmocker.
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                Comment

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