Bastards and Eunichs Unwelcome!

[TC Patriot]

Dt.23:1 He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
Dt.23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
I have spoken with our church elders about having a short arms inspection or all of our Landover male members.

Our head Deacon has contacted Officer Don Richards to do background checks on the linage of some of our new members to find out if any of them or their parents were born out of wedlock.

If you are missing your family jewels, tallywacker or you were born a bastard FESS UP!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Bastards and Eunichs Unwelcome!

I'm glad Officer Richards is on this. From the stand point of marketing, I do not want Freehold to be just like other cities. I want it to stand out as the Shining City on the Hill.

Maintaining a high standard for the people allowed to live here is a big part of its success.

JJH

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Bastards and Eunichs Unwelcome!

Our head Deacon has contacted Officer Don Richards to do background checks on the linage of some of our new members to find out if any of them or their parents were born out of wedlock.

How is wedlock defined in your special book?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Bastards and Eunichs Unwelcome!

There is nothing wrong with eunuchs. Several True Christian(tm) ex-Gays have become eunuchs for Jesus.

There is a difference between being castrated to avoid temptation and having wounded stones.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Bastards and Eunichs Unwelcome!

I am happy to oblige, anything to make Freehold a little better.

So far my rigorous investigation hasn't turned up any members whose parents were born out of wedlock, but we have only gone back one generation. There is much more digging to do.

As far as checking for eunuchs, that has been a little bit more tricky. A quick peak is all it takes, and so far nobody except some of our ex-gays has turned up missing anything, but as long as they have a signed note from a Christian doctor saying the parts were removed in accordance with Matthew 19:12, we have no issue.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Bastards and Eunichs Unwelcome!

Exactly what Reverend Rodimer said. Eunuchs are celebrated by Jesus!

Matthew 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from [their] mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.