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Dear, Dear, Brother Bathtowel! Would you Honour (<- Did I do that Right?) us with a few Words on this auspicious occasion?
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Re: Blessed Birthday, EZEKIEL BATHFIRE!
Bathfire, you old dog, you've made it to another birthdy. I hope you get a chance to come to the states so I can treat you to a night of revelry at the Landover Mens Club.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. -
Re: Blessed Birthday, EZEKIEL BATHFIRE!
Oh.my.GOD. Does this mean you Mens are going to have a Dooteronomy Dool? Might we Ladies come to watch? Pretty Please?Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
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Re: Blessed Birthday, EZEKIEL BATHFIRE!
I will be spending the rest of the day in my prayer closet, thinking about the small people who are so less fortunate than I, which, by the way the world is going, is everyone who isn't a True Christian(tm).
Sister SUV, no living woman has ever witness the proceedings of Landover Men's Club. The last (and may be only) one was Patience Bywater who immediately thereafter was committed to the Landover Home for the Terminally Christian Insane.sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: Blessed Birthday, EZEKIEL BATHFIRE!
Dearest, dearest Brother Bathfire:
What a glorious, venerable institution you are, leading the huddled masses yearning to breathe free to the very feet of Christ™ Our™ Lord™, and inspiring all who know and love you with your wisdom and devoted ways.
Your words are purest gold, and your heart as wide and open and loving as our fabled American Plains.
Truly, God™ did so love his Peoples of Landover to send you to us!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Re: Blessed Birthday, EZEKIEL BATHFIRE!
Have a blessed birthday Ezekiel.
Another True Christian™ journeying selflessly toward death, only to be seated at the right hand of the Lord. It shouldn't be long now..Comment
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Re: Blessed Birthday, EZEKIEL BATHFIRE!
Happy birthday, brother. While you're giving thanks to Jesus for not killing you for another year, please enjoy the small gift I sent over.
Just a dram won't hurt.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Blessed Birthday, EZEKIEL BATHFIRE!
Is it your birthday again? Didn't we already do this last year?5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."Comment
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Re: Blessed Birthday, EZEKIEL BATHFIRE!
Brother, my condolences on your birthday. I know you'd hoped to be called Home by Jesus by now.
Soon, Brother. Soon!
I hear she was delusional, accusing the brethren of all manner of bizarre perversions and blasphemies.Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View PostBible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: Blessed Birthday, EZEKIEL BATHFIRE!
Praise Jesus we are blessed with another year of your wisdom Brother. May you have many more to minister to the heathen.
Happy Birthday!
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.Comment
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