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  • James Dewitt
    #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
    • Jan 2010
    • 6267

    #1

    God Hates Figs!

    Brothers and Sisters whilst shopping today at the Save-A- Lot in Freehold, I was in the market for some apples and maybe some grapes. I looked at all the wonderful bounty that God has provided for us. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a rather queer fruit. I thought to myself Have I ever actually tried a fig? No I have not, then I remembered why, GOD hates them. Sure they are natures candy(at least that is what the package said). But I remember reading in the Holy KJV1611 that God hates them.
    Psalm 105:33

    He smote their vines also and their fig trees; and brake the trees of their coasts.

    Jeremiah 24:2-3
    One basket had very good figs, even like the figs that are first ripe: and the other basket had very naughty figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad.Then said the LORD unto me, What seest thou, Jeremiah? And I said, Figs; the good figs, very good; and the evil, very evil, that cannot be eaten, they are so evil.


    Hosea 2:12

    And I will destroy her vines and her fig trees, whereof she hath said, These are my rewards that my lovers have given me: and I will make them a forest, and the beasts of the field shall eat them.

    Matthew 21:19
    And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.


    Mark 11:13-14,20

    And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet. And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.

    And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots.




    The only reason's that I can come up with is this. For one thing Figs originally come from the Middle East( Muslim country) and we all know how God hates non- believers.
    Deuteronomy 13:6-10
    If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth; Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.



    On the package I noticed that the figs where from California. We all know that California is the land of fruits and fairies. Fruits is another term for homersexurals. So it makes complete sense, God hates figs cause Muslims and Homers eat them! I requested that the super market discontinue carrying that vile figs. I am boycotting the Save-A- Lot until all figs are removed from the premises.

    YIC James Dewitt
  • Felicity
    As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
    True Christian™
    • Apr 2010
    • 4834

    #2
    Re: God Hates Figs!

    I am glad we never eat figs as we only eat meat! #Romans 14:2 #Genesis 1:27-28
    I Jesus!

    Comment

    • Mrs. Mary Whitford
      Ladies of Landover Senior VP
      One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
      Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
      True Christian™
      • Dec 2006
      • 12414

      #3
      Re: God Hates Figs!

      Go fig-ure.

      But seriously, yes, figs are vile and awful and only the scum of the earth would eat them.
      Posted via Prayer

      1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
      Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

      Blogging for CHRIST!
      Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
      All a-Twitter for Salvation!
      Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
      On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
      My Ladies of Landover profile!

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556

        #4
        Re: God Hates Figs!

        Amen brother! I've seen a growing number of street protests on this subject of late.

        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Daisy Mae Johnson
          The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
          Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
          aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15708

          #5
          Re: God Hates Figs!

          AMEN Brother!

          And we all know that the fig leaf is sinful because that is what Adam and Eve used to cover their naughty parts.
          sigpic

          Tweet me Here
          My GODLY Bio Here

          Comment

          • Benedict A. Davis
            Winning Souls in his Winnebago
            True Christian™
            • May 2010
            • 3900

            #6
            Re: God Hates Figs!

            ummmm, can anybody tell me if Fig Newton bars are made with REAL figs and if so would they count as it is a paste in the cookie. I will be in my prayer closet preparing for the anticipated bad news.
            sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
            Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
            Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
            Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

            Comment

            • Nobar King
              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
              Christ's Guardian
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2007
              • 23748

              #7
              Re: God Hates Figs!

              I've always hated eating figs, but I do have to admit to liking the fig newtons. You need to add a bit of cookie and a lot of sugar to make a fig palatable.
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

              Comment

              • Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
                Pastor of Praise and Worship
                A True Christian™ Straight Shooter
                True Christian™
                • Jul 2009
                • 3890

                #8
                Re: God Hates Figs!

                Brother, this is one of the most true things I have ever read.

                God hates figs!
                Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.


                Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com

                Comment

                • James Hutchins
                  True Christian™
                  Just a Regular Nice Guy
                   
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 29457

                  #9
                  Re: God Hates Figs!

                  I am proud to say a fig has never touched my lips, nor passed through my body and out my rectum. That goes for all those strange items. For me it is meat, potatoes, gravy and corn.
                  Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                  Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                  Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                  Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                  Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                  Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                  Comment

                  • James Dewitt
                    #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 6267

                    #10
                    Re: God Hates Figs!

                    Originally posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
                    ummmm, can anybody tell me if Fig Newton bars are made with REAL figs and if so would they count as it is a paste in the cookie. I will be in my prayer closet preparing for the anticipated bad news.
                    Yes they are, figs are dried, ground into a paste then wrapped in a cookie dough. One of the largest sellers is Newman's Own fig newtons. ( Paul Newman) a well known Homersexural. And if I am not mistaken a Catlik.
                    here are a few pictures of a fig one in its fresh state ( take note of its pinkish red interior remind you of anything?) One is in a dried form, how nasty and ugly can a fruit be? Sure its wrapped in a delightful cookie, but that is Satan's way of sucking you in. The other is of Paul Newman, HOMER. Brother Davis dump the Newton's before God Smites you!
                    Attached Files

                    Comment

                    • Ezekiel Bathfire
                      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                      Christ's Rottweiler
                       
                      • Jan 2008
                      • 22912

                      #11
                      Re: God Hates Figs!

                      Figs have a disturbing effect on the bowels and that is never good.



                      Nu:5:22: And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen.

                      It is God's way of telling us to leave them alone.
                      sigpic


                      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                      Author of such illuminating essays as,
                      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                      Comment

                      • Benedict A. Davis
                        Winning Souls in his Winnebago
                        True Christian™
                        • May 2010
                        • 3900

                        #12
                        Re: God Hates Figs!

                        Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                        Yes they are, figs are dried, ground into a paste then wrapped in a cookie dough. One of the largest sellers is Newman's Own fig newtons. ( Paul Newman) a well known Homersexural. And if I am not mistaken a Catlik.
                        here are a few pictures of a fig one in its fresh state ( take note of its pinkish red interior remind you of anything?) One is in a dried form, how nasty and ugly can a fruit be? Sure its wrapped in a delightful cookie, but that is Satan's way of sucking you in. The other is of Paul Newman, HOMER. Brother Davis dump the Newton's before God Smites you!
                        Oh Sweet Lord, Please forgive me my past indiscretions, as I look at those pictures,a beautiful juicy fruit and its pleasant production the Fig Newton Bar, I understand how Satan chose his temptations well.From this day forth I must commit myself to live my life in a figless world!Obviously this is how our lord wanted it. If giving up this temptation is standing between me and my chance of an eternity bathing in the nothingness of God's sweet love so be it.How can earthly temptation stand up to the promise of heaven!
                        1 Corinthians 2:9 (King James Version)


                        9But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
                        sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
                        Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
                        Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
                        Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

                        Comment

                        • Bible Student
                          Master of Biblical Study and Ancient Languages
                          With Jesus now.
                          True Christian™
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 2474

                          #13
                          Re: God Hates Figs!

                          Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                          Brothers and Sisters whilst shopping today at the Save-A- Lot in Freehold, I was in the market for some apples and maybe some grapes. I looked at all the wonderful bounty that God has provided for us. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a rather queer fruit. I thought to myself Have I ever actually tried a fig? No I have not, then I remembered why, GOD hates them. Sure they are natures candy(at least that is what the package said). But I remember reading in the Holy KJV1611 that God hates them.
                          Psalm 105:33

                          He smote their vines also and their fig trees; and brake the trees of their coasts.

                          Jeremiah 24:2-3
                          One basket had very good figs, even like the figs that are first ripe: and the other basket had very naughty figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad.Then said the LORD unto me, What seest thou, Jeremiah? And I said, Figs; the good figs, very good; and the evil, very evil, that cannot be eaten, they are so evil.


                          Hosea 2:12

                          And I will destroy her vines and her fig trees, whereof she hath said, These are my rewards that my lovers have given me: and I will make them a forest, and the beasts of the field shall eat them.

                          Matthew 21:19
                          And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.


                          Mark 11:13-14,20

                          And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet. And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.

                          And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots.




                          The only reason's that I can come up with is this. For one thing Figs originally come from the Middle East( Muslim country) and we all know how God hates non- believers.
                          Deuteronomy 13:6-10
                          If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth; Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.



                          On the package I noticed that the figs where from California. We all know that California is the land of fruits and fairies. Fruits is another term for homersexurals. So it makes complete sense, God hates figs cause Muslims and Homers eat them! I requested that the super market discontinue carrying that vile figs. I am boycotting the Save-A- Lot until all figs are removed from the premises.

                          YIC James Dewitt
                          Is it any coincidence that fruitcake has figs in it?
                          YiJC, BS

                          II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

                          Comment

                          • María Gálvez-Villalobos
                            Claims not to be a dago slut
                            Unintelligible motor-mouthed Spaniardess; earplugs advised
                            • Mar 2011
                            • 1307

                            #14
                            Re: God Hates Figs!

                            Oh my God and made mía do this mean that the figs are no good for cristians people for eat because my grandfather he have a orchard whit lots of fig trees and he sell them in the market when is the season and we alway have fig for after lunch desert and is very popular here in the fiestas and in cristmas time holidays and I like the figs too.

                            This mean I must to stop of eat this fruit, or is alright for me to contiñue eat its ¿no?


                            Is pity because I very like.
                            Ex JW and quiet, shy, timid girl who wants to be a True Cristian Lady.
                            My favorite verse from the Bible is:
                            - A true WITNESSE deliuereth soules: but a deceitfull WITNESSE speaketh lyes.

                            Comment

                            • Cursed
                              Recovering Bastard
                              Head of Landover Glee Club
                              True Christian™
                              • Jan 2011
                              • 1363

                              #15
                              Re: God Hates Figs!

                              Originally posted by Sister Mari Juana View Post
                              Oh my God and made mía do this mean that the figs are no good for cristians people for eat because my grandfather he have a orchard whit lots of fig trees and he sell them in the market when is the season and we alway have fig for after lunch desert and is very popular here in the fiestas and in cristmas time holidays and I like the figs too.

                              This mean I must to stop of eat this fruit, or is alright for me to contiñue eat its ¿no?


                              Is pity because I very like.
                              Hey, if I have to quit whoremongering, you damn well better quit figs.
                              The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12

                              Comment

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