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  • Rachael Van Helsing
    HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
    • Sep 2006
    • 5131

    #16
    Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

    You're talking about two mythological people here, a father and a son. Not the same person.
    sigpic
    Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

    Comment

    • SalvationSeeker
      True Christian™ Theologian
      Forum Member
      • Sep 2006
      • 3892

      #17
      Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

      Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
      You're talking about two mythological people here, a father and a son. Not the same person.
      Oh, really?
      For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word*, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.
      1 John 5:7

      Great Biblical knowledge you got there, harlot.
      *Son/Jesus
      Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 10-24-2006, 02:16 PM.
      If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
      A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
      Proverbs 9:12-13

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556

        #18
        Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
        You're talking about two mythological people here, a father and a son. Not the same person.
        You are talking about the Saviour of Mankind here, witch! The only thing that is mythological is your intelligence.

        You are also flirting with permanent banishment. Enjoy your new infraction points. I know they'll match the hundreds of old ones you've earned....
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Bobby-Joe
          Landover Security Superviser
          Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
          NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 18405

          #19
          Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

          Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
          Being a bastard is not the same as being fatherless. Being a bastard is when a child is illegitimate ie born out of wedlock as Jesus clearly was. The bible states she was not married at the time, and that she became pregnant.
          Therefore, Jesus was illegitimate (ie a bastard)case closed!
          Rachael,

          You are forgetting what comes latter; Jesus is baptized. In other words Jesus has repented of His depravity and accepted Himself as His personal savior. Therefore any sins He had He forgave Himself of. The other crimes Jesus committed after His baptism He paid for when He temporally died. You see Rachael, all must obey God's law, even God.

          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

          Hot Must ReadThreads!


          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

          Comment

          • Pastor Rune Enoe
            Apostle of the North
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 11680

            #20
            Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
            Being a bastard is not the same as being fatherless. Being a bastard is when a child is illegitimate ie born out of wedlock as Jesus clearly was.
            Nonsense. This is what "bastard" means:

            1) bastard, child of incest, illegitimate child
            a) bastard
            b) mixed population (fig.)
            c) born of a Jewish father and a heathen mother or visa versa

            Being a bastard has nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with miscegenation - the sin of crossing bloodlines with Godless races.

            If a GODLY woman should conceive a child with, say, a Negro, then after 10 generations the child will only be 1/1024 Negro . So God is saying that even if you're only 99.91% white, He'll let you in anyway. That's how much God loves His children.
            A wise man’s heart inclines him to the right, but a fool’s heart to the left. (Ecclesiastes 10:2)

            Comment

            • Pastor Al E Pistle
              Christ's Cōnsiliārius
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 9323

              #21
              Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

              Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
              You're talking about two mythological people here, a father and a son.
              YOU are about to become a mythological person in the manner of LOT's wife if you keep up that sassy tone in this GODLY forum, MISSY!
              Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
              "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
              Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


              Comment

              • Rachael Van Helsing
                HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                • Sep 2006
                • 5131

                #22
                Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

                Originally posted by Prune Danish View Post
                Nonsense. This is what "bastard" means:

                1) bastard, child of incest, illegitimate child
                a) bastard
                b) mixed population (fig.)
                c) born of a Jewish father and a heathen mother or visa versa
                And doesn't that prove my point?
                Look, just pointing out some simple things here.
                Was Jesus Joseph's son? No. I'll pretend for a moment the bible is real. Jesus was 'god's son' was Mary married to god? No, she wasn't, she was to be married to Joseph.
                Therefore, he becomes illegitimate.

                Being a bastard has nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with miscegenation - the sin of crossing bloodlines with Godless races.

                If a GODLY woman should conceive a child with, say, a Negro, then after 10 generations the child will only be 1/1024 Negro . So God is saying that even if you're only 99.91% white, He'll let you in anyway. That's how much God loves His children.
                But what I'm trying to say here is why condemn the rest of humankind for an action which was used to 'beget the savior' supposedly?
                Why do something, then damn it if anyone else does? How is that leading an example?

                Originally posted by Pastor Al
                YOU are about to become a mythological person in the manner of LOT's wife if you keep up that sassy tone in this GODLY forum, MISSY!
                I'm only pointing out very simple things using simple logic. Maybe you should try it sometime, Pastor?
                sigpic
                Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                Comment

                • Pastor Al E Pistle
                  Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 9323

                  #23
                  Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

                  Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                  And doesn't that prove my point?

                  NO!


                  Look, just pointing out some simple things here.
                  Was Jesus Joseph's son? No.

                  OF COURSE HE WAS JOSEPH'S SON! He simply wasn't sired by Joseph.

                  I'll pretend for a moment the bible is real. Jesus was 'god's son' was Mary married to god? No, she wasn't, she was to be married to Joseph. Therefore, he becomes illegitimate.

                  Please keep your illogical nonsense to yourself. The Holy Spirit 'Came upon" Mary, and Joseph was told to like it or else!

                  But what I'm trying to say here is why condemn the rest of humankind for an action which was used to 'beget the savior' supposedly? Why do something, then damn it if anyone else does? How is that leading an example?

                  Because of one simple little fact. Women are damned by GOD and everything they do is wrong unless their husband or father tells them to do it. If it is still wrong, it is the woman's fault.

                  I'm only pointing out very simple things using simple logic. Maybe you should try it sometime, Pastor?
                  Do you know why you get migraines, MISSY? I'll tell you! Because you are trying to think! GOD doesn't want women to think, but merely to bake little soldiers for JESUS.
                  Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                  "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                  Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                  Comment

                  • Mrs. Rogers
                    compassion personified
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 2692

                    #24
                    Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

                    Originally posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
                    Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus.
                    Amen. Joseph waited until Mary had given birth before consumating the marriage - thereby sparing the Holy Fetus an undignified prodding:

                    (Matthew 1:23-25)
                    Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
                    Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:
                    And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.


                    Which was, of course, the righteous thing to do, seeing as sex should only be for the purposes of procreation; if one's wife is with child, there should be NO grubbing about between the sheets for the duration of the pregnancy.

                    Originally posted by Prune Danish View Post
                    Being a bastard has nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with miscegenation - the sin of crossing bloodlines with Godless races.
                    So Mrs. Van HellOnWheels is saying that The LORD is a negro ... or worse, a curry-muncher?! What a ghastly woman!
                    True Christians are Perfect!

                    Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                    Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                    For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

                    Comment

                    • Rachael Van Helsing
                      HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 5131

                      #25
                      Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

                      Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                      NO!
                      How doesn't it? I think it does.

                      OF COURSE HE WAS JOSEPH'S SON! He simply wasn't sired by Joseph.

                      He was Jospeh's step-son. Correct me if I'm wrong, but in order for someone to be someone's father, they need to have planted their seed into the woman's womb. Jesus was not born of Joseph's seed. Therefore, he was not his son.

                      Please keep your illogical nonsense to yourself. The Holy Spirit 'Came upon" Mary, and Joseph was told to like it or else!

                      It isn't illogical. You're being illogical. I'm simply pointing out simple facts that even a child could see!

                      Because of one simple little fact. Women are damned by GOD and everything they do is wrong unless their husband or father tells them to do it. If it is still wrong, it is the woman's fault.

                      And how is that right, or fair?
                      In other religions besides the abrhamaic ones, deities are beings to look up to, to aspire to, that have virtuous/admirable characteristics. The god you worship happily seems to do in the bible all the things he then condemns others for doing and then goes on to say how unforgivable they are! Is that a deity to look up to, to aspire to?

                      Do you know why you get migraines, MISSY? I'll tell you! Because you are trying to think! GOD doesn't want women to think, but merely to bake little soldiers for JESUS.

                      I'd really rather not get pregnant again, Pastor, and seeing as I was born with a brain, I might as well put it to some use.
                      sigpic
                      Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Rune Enoe
                        Apostle of the North
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 11680

                        #26
                        Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

                        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                        was Mary married to god? No, she wasn't, she was to be married to Joseph.
                        All True Christians™ are married to God:

                        Matthew 9:15 And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.

                        Luke 5:34 And he said unto them, Can ye make the children of the bridechamber fast, while the bridegroom is with them?
                        Luke 5:35 But the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then shall they fast in those days.

                        Revelation 21:2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

                        Of course, you wouldn't know about this, since you're a wicker who go a whoring after your FALSE gods.
                        A wise man’s heart inclines him to the right, but a fool’s heart to the left. (Ecclesiastes 10:2)

                        Comment

                        • lilith
                          Night Hag
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 1232

                          #27
                          Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

                          Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                          It is not. I've done nothing but point out what is in the bible. The same bible which YOU follow to the letter!


                          Being a bastard is not the same as being fatherless. Being a bastard is when a child is illegitimate ie born out of wedlock as Jesus clearly was. The bible states she was not married at the time, and that she became pregnant.
                          Therefore, Jesus was illegitimate (ie a bastard)case closed!


                          Quit fantasizing about punching me already.


                          He wouldn't have found her to be one!
                          And it would have been up to her to publicly disgrace her, or to deal with her family. Clearly, he did not wish to publically disgrace her, as is in Matthew:

                          Matthew 1: 18-19 18Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
                          19Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.

                          My what an interesting discussion...so Mary wasn't a virgin when she married Joseph & JC was in fact a bastard.

                          So...you lot worship these people because...?

                          Fine upstanding moral characters?
                          In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Al E Pistle
                            Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 9323

                            #28
                            Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

                            Originally posted by lilith View Post
                            My what an interesting discussion...so Mary wasn't a virgin when she married Joseph & JC was in fact a bastard.

                            Not at all! Mary was a virgin before and after JESUS' miraculous birth, which is what makes it a miracle. After JESUS grew up he naturally had nothing to do with the old JOO.

                            So...you lot worship these people because...?

                            Because it's ridiculous to try and run a Christian Ministry if one doesn't. Who would send us money?

                            Fine upstanding moral characters?
                            There was nothing immoral about it. The Holy Ghost told Mary how lucky she was and 'came upon' her. You can do that if you are GOD!
                            Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                            "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                            Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                            Comment

                            • Rachael Van Helsing
                              HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 5131

                              #29
                              Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

                              Originally posted by Prune Danish View Post
                              All True Christians™ are married to God:

                              Matthew 9:15 And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.

                              Luke 5:34 And he said unto them, Can ye make the children of the bridechamber fast, while the bridegroom is with them?
                              Luke 5:35 But the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then shall they fast in those days.

                              Revelation 21:2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

                              Your god is male, right? So then if that were the case, if all True Christians™ are married to god would that make all the male True Christians™ 'homers'?

                              Of course, you wouldn't know about this, since you're a wicker who go a whoring after your FALSE gods.
                              Who told you?? I mean. How silly. Of course I don't. I revere, I don't 'go a-whoring'.
                              sigpic
                              Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                              Comment

                              • SalvationSeeker
                                True Christian™ Theologian
                                Forum Member
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 3892

                                #30
                                Re: Would even Jesus get into heaven?

                                Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                                [/color]
                                I revere, I don't 'go a-whoring'.
                                I suppose that's what you call it when you're 'serving' all those strange men at greyhound bus-stops too?
                                You only 'revere' them, just like Fishy reveres his local priest after communion?
                                If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                                A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                                Proverbs 9:12-13

                                Comment

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