[Free Market Fred]

Re: Colonic Demons?

I recently had a video conference with my good friend and favorite corporate mouthpiece, Rush Limbaugh. We were discussing a new topic for his show (convincing conservative voters that selling their teenage daughters is God's will).

Anyway, I brought up the topic of how to exploit the "colonic demons" theme. He mentioned that colonic demons were a great concern down in the Dominican Republic. Since Rush and a contingent of GOP congressmen and senators regularly visit the Dominican Republic for weekend fact-finding tours, it's important to buy protection from the demons.


Colonic Demon protection

Brother Rush emphasized that you should buy the demon protection in the USA before departure. Although such demon protection can be purchased in the Dominican Republic, it appears to be unreliable.


Yet another reason to oppose recycling

I neglected to tell Rush that many of the "Made in USA" condoms were actually being made in China. Only the condoms' cardboard boxes are made in the USA. Well actually, the boxes are made in China too, but from 100% American wood, so that qualifies for the "Made-in-USA" label under the new loosely-interpreted-and-rarely-enforced free-trade regulations that we lobbied for.


Show your patriotism

[Child_Lover]

Re: Colonic Demons?

May these demons that try to get in our anuses burn in hell!

[Kristin Marlow]

Re: Colonic Demons?

May these demons that try to get in our anuses burn in hell!

Please introduce yourself in the Introduction Forum here.

[Buddhist_]

Re: Colonic Demons?

F- uck your shit.


Quite literally.

I brought a special guest aswell:

[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Re: Colonic Demons?

F- uck your shit.


Quite literally.

I brought a special guest aswell:

Dear unsaved trash,

Please introduce yourself here.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Colonic Demons?

F- uck your shit.


Quite literally.

I brought a special guest aswell:

Well so much for the rumor that buddhists are loving, peaceful people.

[repentant* sinner]

Re: Colonic Demons?

Amen Brother Eddie! I can't tell you how many hours I have spent cleaning demons out of nubile young men's rectums! From the boy brothels of Bombay to the sin salons of Singapore, I've called upon the Holy Ghost to keep my resolve ROCK HARD in the saddle. It's a tough, sweaty job but someone's got to do it.

Shout GLORY!

How do you actually clean demons????

[planeman09]

Re: Colonic Demons?

Is this a joke? or should I really be worried about demons in my butt?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Colonic Demons?

Is this a joke? or should I really be worried about demons in my butt?

You should absolutely be worried about demons in your butt. Especially the likes of you.

[jcwst1]

Re: Colonic Demons?

Well, I am certain that I do not have colonic demons (I do an annual liver flush, Hulda Clark method). However, it is probable that I DO have pecker demons. FORTUNATELY, I know just how to get them out ... thank you so much for your website ...

[appletree]

Re: Colonic Demons?

Where are these Colonic Demons mentioned in the bible?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Colonic Demons?

Idiot child! Have you any idea how many places a demon could hide? A list would take up a lot of God's bandwidth in His Holy Book and thus other bits, important to salvation, would have to have been missed out.

Read this:
M'r:5:2: And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,
M'r:5:3: Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:
M'r:5:4: Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.
M'r:5:5: And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones. [edit: this man was suffering from demons of Emo-ism - you can still see people possessed like that today!]
M'r:5:6: But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him,
M'r:5:7: And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not.
M'r:5:8: For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit.
M'r:5:9: And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many. [edit: see! there were thousands of them! They were everywhere!]
M'r:5:10: And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the country.
M'r:5:11: Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding.
M'r:5:12: And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them.
M'r:5:13: And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand and were choked in the sea.
M'r:5:14: And they that fed the swine fled, and told it in the city, and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that was done.
M'r:5:15: And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.
M'r:5:16: And they that saw it told them how it befell to him that was possessed with the devil, and also concerning the swine.

[dumbass a.k.a Francis]

Re: Colonic Demons?

If you've ever read a Harry Potter Book, YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
-Childish
If you've ever played a Video game YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
-Bad gammer or loser
If you have ever masturbated YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
-if never tried, u might be less frustrated after
If you own a Prius YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
-true belive in god to save the planet instead of being green
If you ever voted Democrat YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
-will talk politics on judgement day? really?
If you ever listened to Celine Dion or Barry Manilow YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
-Really??? Barry manillow maybe... Celine?? ask her husband if he saw her demon???
If you are Canadian YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
-that one takes the cake tho.... you call yourselves belive in god, and act like stupid retarded racists??
and the list goes on??? where can i find the rest of the list?

[dumbass a.k.a Francis]

Re: Colonic Demons?

its true sweety, must be a damn hard job to save souls by thrusting their asses.... btw u can call me a child as much as you want, cant wait to hear what youll become when you grow up... after being homeschooled on who ever's lap listning to his "big"stories... Continue to believe that crap and baking apple pies... youll go far in life my little virgin christian... I wonder how many times you've been spanked by the bible??
if im a child, i cant wait to see you in the "real" world wich by the way is round not flat... but you would have learned that at school not on naughty daddys lap...

enjoy baking!!!!

[ExGay Alex]

Re: Colonic Demons?

its true sweety, must be a damn hard job to save souls by thrusting their asses.... btw u can call me a child as much as you want, cant wait to hear what youll become when you grow up... after being homeschooled on who ever's lap listning to his "big"stories... Continue to believe that crap and baking apple pies... youll go far in life my little virgin christian... I wonder how many times you've been spanked by the bible??
if im a child, i cant wait to see you in the "real" world wich by the way is round not flat... but you would have learned that at school not on naughty daddys lap...

enjoy baking!!!!

*it's
*can't
*whoever's
*listening
*you'll
*i'm
*can't
*which
*daddy's

Perhaps if you had a better education, you would see the Bible answers everything, including the proof of rectal demons.