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  • Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

    Friends, the talking heads in the media are saying it's a foregone conclusion that Mitt Romney will win the nomination and become the Republican party's presidential candidate.

    I know the thought of having a Latter Day Saint president terrifies you just as much as it terrifies me, and the thought of having to choose between your faith and the GOP is surely tearing you apart.

    Well friends, I believe that with prayer and perseverance, all things are possible. I believe that when you place your absolute faith in Jesus Christ, you get to have your cake and eat it to.

    Therefore, I am asking every single one of you to sign the following petition and share it on Facebook, Twitter, and via e-mail with everybody you know:

    Mitt Romney MUST accept Jesus and become a True Christian™

    The Petition

    We the undersigned want to personally and sincerely urge Mitt Romney to accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior and get baptized by a real Baptist pastor before he is sworn in as the 45th president of the United States.

    Romney's current religion is a false Christian cult, and condemned by the Bible (See 2 Corinthians 11:13-15, Matthew 7:15, and Exodus 20:3-6).

    The consequence for Mr. Romney personally if he fails to accept Jesus is that he will spend eternity in Hell. The consequences for America if President Romney is not saved will be too numerous to list here, but will surely include increases in demonism, natural disasters, and economic turmoil.

    Please Mr. Romney, for your sake, for your family's sake, and for your country's sake, renounce your magic underwear and clothe your loins only in God's love!

    God makes it very clear that He does not approve of bad leadership...

    Jeremiah 23:1-4

    1Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! saith the LORD.

    2Therefore thus saith the LORD God of Israel against the pastors that feed my people; Ye have scattered my flock, and driven them away, and have not visited them: behold, I will visit upon you the evil of your doings, saith the LORD.

    3And I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all countries whither I have driven them, and will bring them again to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase.

    4And I will set up shepherds over them which shall feed them: and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall they be lacking, saith the LORD.

    ...and I can think of no worse quality for a leader to have than to reject God.

    Let's all sign this petition and let Mr. Romney know how much Jesus wants him on His team!

    This photo says ask Mitt anything...



    ...so why not ask Mitt to accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior, repent for all the sin in his life, get baptized, and read the 1611 King James Bible from cover to cover?

    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

  • #2
    Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

    Amen, brother!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

      Brother Enoch, I hope you will sign the petition soon!
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

        Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
        Brother Enoch, I hope you will sign the petition soon!
        Signed. I just had to take a minute to compose myself (and get my wife to clean the puke off the walls) when I considered what it would mean to have two cultist presidents in a row.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

          Thank you, Brother Enoch! Do you think it would be a good idea to instruct your wife to sign the petition as well, or might the presence of a woman's signature prevent people from taking the petition seriously?
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

            Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
            Thank you, Brother Enoch! Do you think it would be a good idea to instruct your wife to sign the petition as well, or might the presence of a woman's signature prevent people from taking the petition seriously?
            Sadly, my wife is an Eskimo. Technology frightens and confuses her. When she touches the keyboard and the letter she typed appears on the screen she thinks a tiny demon transported it from her finger to the monitor. Plus, she's illiterate.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

              Oh boy. Do you ever like to have a little fun with her by taking her picture and then telling her the camera has captured her soul?
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

                I've proudly signed the petition, FM.

                You can always count on me for Godly support in ridding the world of heathens.
                The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

                "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

                  Thank you so much, Judge Tannor!
                  WARNING:
                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

                    Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
                    Sadly, my wife is an Eskimo. Technology frightens and confuses her. When she touches the keyboard and the letter she typed appears on the screen she thinks a tiny demon transported it from her finger to the monitor. Plus, she's illiterate.
                    Truly the superstition of savages is always surprising.
                    sigpic
                    Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                    John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                    Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                    The truth about volcanos
                    Sex and debauchery in public schools
                    Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                    God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                    Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

                      Well friends, I heard on the radio that Mitt Romney won in New Hampshire today.

                      Now more than ever, it's crucial that we get this man to renounce Mormonism and become the Baptist God always wanted him to be.

                      Please, brothers and sisters, sign my petition, and urge everybody you know to sign it!
                      WARNING:
                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

                        I will do so right now!

                        Someone should post it on Tea Party Nation, don't you think?

                        Strange. I'd have thought Jo Feddie would have started a petition to get Mitt to worship spaghetti or something.
                        Bible boring? Nonsense!
                        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

                          I'm signed on. Let's pray he accepts.
                          Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

                            Oven! Mitt! Romney!

                            (Eternal thanks to Rev. Rodimer for that!)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Sign my petition urging Mitt Romney to get saved!

                              Thank you, my friends!

                              Rev. Rodimer, I'm not familiar with Tea Party Nation, but if you happen to post it there, please provide a link so I can see what kind of lively discussion ensues!
                              WARNING:
                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                              Comment

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