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  • Faith_Machine
    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 10049

    #1

    Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

    Just looking at this made me want to vomit:

    Edible Flying Spaghetti Monster with edible googly eyes

    After more than a year of painstaking directed research by our Experimental Foods Division, we have finally achieved one of our most important longstanding goals: the production of edible googly eyes. Like many other great inventions, it seems almost simple in retrospect, but in this write up we walk through the process and show you how to make your own...




    That's right friends, EDIBLE IDOLATRY. What will the godmockers come up with next, edible porn? Hey, I know, maybe they can print copies of Darwin's "On the Origin of Species" on some type of edible medium.

    Really clever how they package their poison in such novel new ways that are "fun" and "cute," wouldn't you agree?

    I would say that for the average unsaved idiot, ingesting these idolatrous confections would just be one more way of ensuring their everlasting spiritual death.

    A True Christian™, however, would probably be able to eat this poison and suffer no lasting damage, according to Mark:

    Mark 16:18

    They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

    So if Joe Freddie comes around offering yummy little treats to all the boys and girls, I suggest you do those clueless unsaveds a favor, snatch those snacks out of their hands, and gobble them up!
    WARNING:
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  • Zechariah Smyth
    Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
    True Christian™
    • Feb 2011
    • 15251

    #2
    Re: Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

    This truly puts the Pastatardians on a level with the Catlicks, what with their "transubstantiation" nonsense.

    YiC,

    Zech
    sigpic

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    • Faith_Machine
      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2011
      • 10049

      #3
      Re: Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

      Zounds, Zechariah, I hadn't even considered that angle! I was under the impression that Pastafarianism was actually a "joke religion" though, and that its adherents were actually stealth atheists.

      What would be the implications then, if one believed in transubstantiation, but also believed God was non-existent?

      Wouldn't they then believe that the very noodly wafer they were devouring had ceased to exist the moment it was transubstantiated into their non-existent deity?

      Could we test their beliefs, then, by demanding they eat hundreds of those things and then challenging them to eat hundreds more, since, according to their own belief, their bellies shouldn't be even a little bit full?

      Goodness, the very thought of duct-taping one of those idiots to a chair and using a funnel to force-feed him edible Flying Spaghetti Monsters gives me a giddy feeling!

      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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      • Zechariah Smyth
        Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
        True Christian™
        • Feb 2011
        • 15251

        #4
        Re: Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

        Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
        Zounds, Zechariah, I hadn't even considered that angle! I was under the impression that Pastafarianism was actually a "joke religion" though, and that its adherents were actually stealth atheists.

        What would be the implications then, if one believed in transubstantiation, but also believed God was non-existent?

        Wouldn't they then believe that the very noodly wafer they were devouring had ceased to exist the moment it was transubstantiated into their non-existent deity?

        Could we test their beliefs, then, by demanding they eat hundreds of those things and then challenging them to eat hundreds more, since, according to their own belief, their bellies shouldn't be even a little bit full?

        Goodness, the very thought of duct-taping one of those idiots to a chair and using a funnel to force-feed him edible Flying Spaghetti Monsters gives me a giddy feeling!

        Brother Faith, I had never even considered the possibility that the Pasta-Rastas were "faking" it.

        What would be the purpose of such a ruse? Why would anyone put so much effort into a religious pursuit if they didn't truly feel the Hand of God upon them?

        It staggers the imagination.



        YiC.

        Zech
        sigpic

        Comment

        • Faith_Machine
          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Mar 2011
          • 10049

          #5
          Re: Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

          Brother Zechariah, the problem is that you are a rational, sober, sane individual. Naturally, when you try to put yourself in another's shoes and imagine their motives, you assume that their thought processes will make sense to a sane person.

          If Jo Freddie is any indication, I must conclude that these Pastawhatevers are collectively feeding off, and encouraging, each other's insanity.

          Therefore, it may very well be futile to project any sense of logic onto anything they do.
          WARNING:
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          Comment

          • Victor Hatherley
            Unsaved trash
            Under Investigation
            • Oct 2011
            • 3

            #6
            Re: Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

            Pastafarianism is a joke Religion-In other words they're stupid Atheists badly attempting to "Parody" Christianity.
            Ezekiel 23:19-20:
            (19)Yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt (20)and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions.

            Comment

            • Billy Bob Jenkins
              Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
              About as Straight and Manly as you can get
              Hates anal sex. And trees.
              True Christian™
              • May 2010
              • 8337

              #7
              Re: Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

              Originally posted by Victor Hatherley View Post
              Pastafarianism is a joke Religion-In other words they're stupid Atheists badly attempting to "Parody" Christianity.
              What? That's not true. I personally have met Pastafarians who believe in their hearts that worshiping spaghetti is better than stoning homosexuals.

              Besides, Pastafarianism cannot be a parody of Christianity, because the two have nothing in common. One postulates and worships an imaginary entity, while placating the fear of death with wish-thinking about an afterlife; while the other is Christianity.
              The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

              Comment

              • Redeemed Papist
                Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
                True Christian™
                • Jul 2011
                • 10409

                #8
                Re: Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

                Originally posted by Victor Hatherley View Post
                Pastafarianism is a joke Religion-In other words they're stupid Atheists badly attempting to "Parody" Christianity.
                That's just typical. Mocking another supertitious load of old tosh from within your own deluded cult of Armageddon fetishists. The hypocrisy is overwhelming.

                From the standpoint of the great scripture of the Holy Bible it's all too apparent the shortcomings of these fake modern parodies on the greatest story ever told.
                sigpic
                Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                The truth about volcanos
                Sex and debauchery in public schools
                Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

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                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78552

                  #9
                  Re: Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

                  Originally posted by Victor Hatherley View Post
                  Pastafarianism is a joke Religion-In other words they're stupid Atheists badly attempting to "Parody" Christianity.
                  Friend, there is nothing lower in my book than a man who would intentionally parody (or joke in any way about) Christianity. How depraved can they get? What possible good could come out of such a project?
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Faith_Machine
                    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 10049

                    #10
                    Re: Harebrained foodies concoct edible tribute to Jo Freddie's false god.

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    Friend, there is nothing lower in my book than a man who would intentionally parody (or joke in any way about) Christianity. How depraved can they get? What possible good could come out of such a project?
                    Well said Pastor Zeke! But like brother Zechariah, you, in your endearing, beautiful innocence, make the mistake of seeing people as being better than they really are.

                    When you ask, "What possible good could come out of such a project?", you are failing to understand that "good" is something which was never on the Pastafarian agenda. Their only capacity is for hate, and they don't want to build anything or help anybody; they seek only to destroy.
                    WARNING:
                    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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