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Since Christmas falls on a Sunday this year, I will be conducting an extra-special service and community outreach!
We've put out fliers all over the community inviting families to bring their little ones to "Sit on Santa's Lap" before the church service. The fliers have candy canes and holly and such drawn on them. It's all very festive.
We've decorated one of the classrooms for the "Throne Room". Outside, in the hallway, we have fake snow (cotton batting), and garlands, and tinsel, and giant candy canes. Some of the congregation's teens are dressing up as elves. The younger children made snowflakes to hang on the walls.
Secular holiday tunes about Santa Claus will be playing on loudspeakers, so it's hard to hear what's going on in the Throne Room.
Children will be allowed in to the Throne Room one at a time, accompanied only by one of the Elves. No parents.
It'll be very warm in the room, on account of the multiple space heaters and the alcohol-gel fire logs dispersed throughout the room. Bathed in a red glow, the child will see not Santa, but Satan wearing a Santa suit!
The child will then be placed on Satan's lap, so Satan can tell him how he made up Santa Claus to help children sin on Jesus's birthday. You see, kids today are eager for presents on Christmas, even though it's not even their birthday! How greedy and selfish! Just the sort of children Satan wants, children who will turn on God and one day join Satan in Hell!
Satan claws at the child with his . . . well, his claws, and wonders aloud whether maybe he should just eat the child right then instead of just stealing another soul from Jesus.
Just as the child has reached the greatest moment of hysterics, an angel swoops in (from behind the large throne, of course) and snatches the child away, rescuing him from the evil Satan and taking him through a side door into another room.
The other room is decorated like Heaven, and there's beautiful harp music playing. The child is calmed down and given a tasty angel cookie and juice, and told all about the real gift of Christmas -- Jesus! And wouldn't he like to learn more, by going to the church service today? Of course he would, and he should tell his mommy and daddy! And they should return his presents and give the money to Jesus, by way of the church. It's Jesus's birthday, after all!
The angel tells the child not to tell his parents what he's seen in the rooms, since they wouldn't believe him anyway. He should just tell them he learned about the real meaning of Christmas, and that he doesn't want to go to Hell. If the parents don't want to go to the service, he can ask them why they hate him and want him to suffer with Satan forever.
Finally, the elf guides the child back out to the hallway, where he rejoins his parents and demands that they go to the church service!
The service is geared toward children and families, giving them a nice 'introduction' to Christianity. Members of the congregation, knowing what's coming, all will take part in ooo-ing and aah-ing over the Christmas story.
I have no doubt it will be a joyous morning!
We've put out fliers all over the community inviting families to bring their little ones to "Sit on Santa's Lap" before the church service. The fliers have candy canes and holly and such drawn on them. It's all very festive.
We've decorated one of the classrooms for the "Throne Room". Outside, in the hallway, we have fake snow (cotton batting), and garlands, and tinsel, and giant candy canes. Some of the congregation's teens are dressing up as elves. The younger children made snowflakes to hang on the walls.
Secular holiday tunes about Santa Claus will be playing on loudspeakers, so it's hard to hear what's going on in the Throne Room.
Children will be allowed in to the Throne Room one at a time, accompanied only by one of the Elves. No parents.
It'll be very warm in the room, on account of the multiple space heaters and the alcohol-gel fire logs dispersed throughout the room. Bathed in a red glow, the child will see not Santa, but Satan wearing a Santa suit!
The child will then be placed on Satan's lap, so Satan can tell him how he made up Santa Claus to help children sin on Jesus's birthday. You see, kids today are eager for presents on Christmas, even though it's not even their birthday! How greedy and selfish! Just the sort of children Satan wants, children who will turn on God and one day join Satan in Hell!
Satan claws at the child with his . . . well, his claws, and wonders aloud whether maybe he should just eat the child right then instead of just stealing another soul from Jesus.
Just as the child has reached the greatest moment of hysterics, an angel swoops in (from behind the large throne, of course) and snatches the child away, rescuing him from the evil Satan and taking him through a side door into another room.
The other room is decorated like Heaven, and there's beautiful harp music playing. The child is calmed down and given a tasty angel cookie and juice, and told all about the real gift of Christmas -- Jesus! And wouldn't he like to learn more, by going to the church service today? Of course he would, and he should tell his mommy and daddy! And they should return his presents and give the money to Jesus, by way of the church. It's Jesus's birthday, after all!
The angel tells the child not to tell his parents what he's seen in the rooms, since they wouldn't believe him anyway. He should just tell them he learned about the real meaning of Christmas, and that he doesn't want to go to Hell. If the parents don't want to go to the service, he can ask them why they hate him and want him to suffer with Satan forever.
Finally, the elf guides the child back out to the hallway, where he rejoins his parents and demands that they go to the church service!
The service is geared toward children and families, giving them a nice 'introduction' to Christianity. Members of the congregation, knowing what's coming, all will take part in ooo-ing and aah-ing over the Christmas story.
I have no doubt it will be a joyous morning!
And just what are you doing for Christmas that's so much better? 
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