A terrible misunderstanding!

[Faith_Machine]

One week ago, I attended my first meeting of an informal Baptist men's fellowship brotherhood here in Pacifica. The other members ranged in age from 14 to 45, and I really got on famously with them. More importantly, the prayer, Bible study, and discussion I experienced was deeply moving, and I truly felt this group was on fire for the Lord!

Naturally, I went to tonight's meeting practically bursting with enthusiasm, and when I arrived, I attempted to greet each of my brothers in Christ with an holy kiss, as prescribed by the Bible:

1 Corinthians 16:20

20All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.

Unfortunately, when I kissed the 14 year old, his father flew into a rage, grabbed hold of my arms, and threw me rather violently against a wall! I was a bit confused by this, and as he began to rain blows upon my head, I cried, "Stop, please stop! Why are you assaulting me, brother?"

And do you know what he said?

As the other members of the fellowship attempted to restrain him, he accused me of being a "limp-wristed faggot!"

I tried explaining that he'd clearly gotten the wrong idea, and even quoted the following verses, along with the one mentioned above:

1 Thessalonians 5:26

26Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss.

1 Peter 5:14

14Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

All of this was to no avail, and as I hastily retreated on foot, he promised to file a police report against me. I'm just heart sick about this, and am still shaking as I type these words. My car is still parked in front of the place where the fellowship meets, and I'm kind of afraid to go back there and get it. I'm also worried the police will show up here at my home. Goodness only knows what that irate father may have told them.

I guess this just shows the danger of fellowshipping with with people who don't have a good foundation in Biblical knowledge.

[Bible Thumping Billy]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

This truly sickens me. And so many people call themselves "Christians"

Isaiah 54:17 No weapon formed against thee shall prosper! You need not worry brother, these men aren't truly of God. You followed God's word, I am faithful nothing will happen of this.

I am retreating to my prayer closet over this for you, hopefully this evil man will repent of his accusations. (Maybe if we are lucky he will be smitten.)

[Mikail Cliftov]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

Did you notice http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0101/shake.html ?

[Seth Campbell]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

My wife grew up in the fuzzy bunny Baptist world, she became disillusioned when a "pastor" couldn't answer her questions. He even went as far as to tell her that reading her Bible was a sin!

Disgusting how so many can take whiteout to the word of GOD.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

Did you notice http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0101/shake.html ?

Oh my goodness, no, I had not seen that! Men try to shake hands like that, with me, all the time! I had assumed it was some kind of rap music deal or something.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

I have no doubt that True Christianity and the Landmark Baptist Church has little hold on the population of Californication.

Most of the places that say they are "Baptist" are nothing more than social meeting places for those who would put on a thin veneer of Christianity.

The Holy Kiss, especially to a male child, is a sign of the deep love of Christ shared between those of faith. We only need look at M'r:16:5: And entering into the sepulchre, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in a long white garment; and they were affrighted.

Clearly, Jesus had earlier befriended this young, skimpily-dressed, bronzed, fair-haired, blue-eyed boy, much in the way that he wished all children to come to him.

The Greeks had a word for the innocent love of a man for a younger boy... I will see if I can remember it.

[James Hutchins]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

I understand your discomfort and confusion.

Years back, I was volunteering at the Landover Bible Camp and Artillery School.
I was explaining to the young supple boys about how a shell traveled, that when a big gun was loaded and fired, that the trajectory was not a straight line but curved.
During a particularly heated exchange of fireous projectiles, one of the parents of that ethnic boy, Vincent burst upon the scene, just as his son was aiming my barrel. The surprise of seeing his father caused a premature eruption and a subsequent grazing of the mans shoulder. I offered to make good on the mans sport coat but he left in a huff. A few weeks later, I was served with a subpoena to appear in court. Fortunately, Landovers top notch joo lawyers along with their professional whining witnesses came to court with me.

So I understand all too well how people misconstrue episodes, and how things get completely out of hand. You should contact the boys father and see if you can interest him in a laying of the hands to work out and issues.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

That's a very disturbing story, Mr. Hutchins!

The mere thought of an ethnic boy handling a firearm is enough to send me running for cover!

[Good Christian Woman]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

How awful! Clearly, these men haven't read their Bibles.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

Naturally, I went to tonight's meeting practically bursting with enthusiasm, and when I arrived, I attempted to greet each of my brothers in Christ with an holy kiss, as prescribed by the Bible:

May I suggest two things, Brother:

First, start with the adults in the future.
Second, recall that a holy kiss does not require your mouth to be open.

I know it's an easy mistake to make. Why, when I greeted Daisy Mae with a holy kiss on my last visit, Zeke took a swing at me! (I ducked. He hit his Indonesian houseboy, who was waiting for HIS holy kiss. Poor kid.)

[Rapture_Ritual]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

With the papist pedophiles of today, I am not surprised people are so protective. Catholics have ruined something so innocent.

[James Hutchins]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

With the papist pedophiles of today, I am not surprised people are so protective. Catholics have ruined something so innocent.

So very true. You should see the stares I get when I tidy up a mans shirt tails. Excuse me for thinking a man's appearance is important!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A terrible misunderstanding!

So very true. You should see the stares I get when I tidy up a mans shirt tails. Excuse me for thinking a man's appearance is important!

Brother, did I remember to thank you for fixing mine on my last visit? You know you caught me by surprise.

You were absolutely right; tucking into my shorts like that really kept my shirttails from pulling out. I do that all the time now!