[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

We might need you again soon Sir Nye. We are on the brink of a civil war, and it's going to get ugly. I've depicted the scene in attachment.

I thought those things were french. Should we be calling them "Belgy Fries" at McDonalds?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

I thought those things were french. Should we be calling them "Belgy Fries" at McDonalds?

Personally, I would call them American Fries. They only exist because people like sir Nye (almost) liberated us. If not for that, we'd be eating Kartoffelnsalade. That, or Borsht.

Uppity Belgiums will tell you that it is based on a misunderstanding. They'd say that he US troops first ate fries during the Battle of the Bulge. Since most local people in that area speak French (well, kinda, sorta), the soldiers thought they were a "French" recepy.

Don't believe them for a minute. I know the people here, and they lie through their teeth.

Incidently, I always wondered if Leviticus predicted fries.

Leviticus 7:9
And all the meat offering that is baken in the oven, and all that is dressed in the fryingpan, and in the pan, shall be the priest's that offereth it.

Can any Pastor help me out here?

[Azriel]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

I realize that Belgicans are practically French, and the men and women are very difficult to tell apart, but still . . .

French women are actually very beautiful:

[Wide-Open]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

French women are actually very beautiful:
<picture of surrender monkey deleted>

Friend, what is that got to do with the topic at hand? Is she a Mormon? Is she a frie?

She's not French, I see no white flag in that picture. Stop lying friend, or you will get a wad of infraction points!

I'll attach a picture of a real French woman for your education. Don't watch it if you are of the squeemish type. This is what you look like after eating frogs and garlic daily.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

French women are actually very beautiful:

Is that not that uppity commie Jose Bove?

[Azriel]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

She's actually a French model, but then why should I expect you boys to have any taste (or knowledge about women). All you care about in a woman is whether she's gonna let you walk all over her or not.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

All you care about in a woman is whether she's gonna let you walk all over her or not.

No, all I care about in a woman is whether she's prepared to let Jesus walk all over her heart and soul.

[Azriel]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

Surely that's not what Jesus taught though. Didn't he say 'love thy neighbour as I have loved you.' Doesn't that mean nobody walks on anybody else?

[JennyD]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

French women are actually very beautiful:

My dear, that is very clearly a French MAN.

Note the lack of facial and body hair.

French women are far more furry, like the picture posted by Brother W-O.

Surely that's not what Jesus taught though. Didn't he say 'love thy neighbour as I have loved you.' Doesn't that mean nobody walks on anybody else?

We are commanded to love our neighbors (other True Christians(tm)) as we love ourselves.

Nowhere did Jesus tell us to love others as He has loved us; however, if you so desire, we could establish our own Hell on Earth and condemn all those who Unsaved who do not follow Jesus to it, just as Jesus shows His love for us by doing the same.

Perhaps you missed the article I posted recently, where some would-be Christians on the Oregon coast attempted exactly that. Here's the link.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

Surely that's not what Jesus taught though. Didn't he say 'love thy neighbour as I have loved you.' Doesn't that mean nobody walks on anybody else?

They key point is the word neighbor Azriel. If you read the full chapter were that quote comes from it is very clear Christ means for Christians to separate themselves from non-Christians. If everyone in the community is a Christian , like we have in Freehold, then yes, nobody “walks on someone else”.

[Azriel]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

John 15:9-12
"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

If I may:

Jesus spoke these words to His disciples--i.e., His true followers--at the Last Supper:

John 13

1Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.
2And supper being ended, the devil having now put into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him;
3Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God;
4He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself.
5After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.
6Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet?
7Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.
8Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.
9Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head.
10Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all.
11For he knew who should betray him; therefore said he, Ye are not all clean.
12So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you?
13Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.
14If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet.
15For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.
16Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.
17If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.
18I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted up his heel against me.
19Now I tell you before it come, that, when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I am he.
20Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me; and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.
21When Jesus had thus said, he was troubled in spirit, and testified, and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me.
22Then the disciples looked one on another, doubting of whom he spake.
23Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.
24Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, that he should ask who it should be of whom he spake.
25He then lying on Jesus' breast saith unto him, Lord, who is it?
26Jesus answered, He it is, to whom I shall give a sop, when I have dipped it. And when he had dipped the sop, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon.
27And after the sop Satan entered into him. Then said Jesus unto him, That thou doest, do quickly.
28Now no man at the table knew for what intent he spake this unto him.
29For some of them thought, because Judas had the bag, that Jesus had said unto him, Buy those things that we have need of against the feast; or, that he should give something to the poor.
30He then having received the sop went immediately out: and it was night.
31Therefore, when he was gone out, Jesus said, Now is the Son of man glorified, and God is glorified in him.
32If God be glorified in him, God shall also glorify him in himself, and shall straightway glorify him.
33Little children, yet a little while I am with you. Ye shall seek me: and as I said unto the Jews, Whither I go, ye cannot come; so now I say to you.
34A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
35By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

He did not speak them to the peasantry, cripples, and general riff-raff who followed Him around. In other words, He was not addressing Unsaved Trash(c) such as yourself.

We at Landover Baptist Church understand and apply these words of our Lord's in exactly the way He intended them: to other True Christians(tm), our spiritual brothers and sisters.

I hope this clarifies matters for you.

[Azriel]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

When he said that they couldn't come he meant that he was going to die and at that specific moment in time they could not follow him, as they had followed him in life. This is why he gives them the commandment to love one another as he has loved them. I actually have a bible beside me as I write this. If you bothered to read on your post would have then read (Jesus is still talking with the poor and such at this point) John 13:33 'By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.' As such you, at Landover who choose to hate with such passion are not (in Jesus' own words) God's disciples. He also says John 13:36 'Where I am going you cannot follow me now; but you shall follow afterward.'

No where in that entire passage does it say that the people he is speaking with may not enter heaven after him. After all that wouldn't make sense would it? Didn't Jesus open the gates of heaven for every man who seek the Lord's forgiveness.

One more thing, which parts of the bible do you follow? Since the old testament and the new testament teach different things.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

One more thing, which parts of the bible do you follow?

The whole thing, right down to the last jot and tittle.

Since the old testament and the new testament teach different things.

No ma'am, they do not teach different things. The message is consistent from Genesis to The Revelation.

Perhaps you could try reading the Bible for yourself instead of relying on hearsay from your unsaved buddies.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Azriel]

Re: Get to know your Mormon neighbors!

¬.¬ Okay, I'm not even going to honour that with a witticism of my own.

I was forced to read the bible, everyday until I got out of school as I was sent to a religious school where they were almost as strict about their bible following as you lot are.

I will admit that most of my friends are what you consider 'unsaved trash' but you know what, I'd rather have friends who are going to go to hell than live a sheltered existence.