[JonathanClement]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

God is a fierce killer. If God was a woman then the whole Bible would be about recipe's. Stop being so stupid.

She told me to tell you that the bible is a lie written by men to control others and that she's tired of being accused of writing the accursed text.

[Deaner]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

She told me to tell you that the bible is a lie written by men to control others.

Oh, I see. You're one of those guys. So let me get this straight; some crazy invisible woman in the sky told you that?

[Thomas Hubbard]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

Enjoy hell.

[JonathanClement]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

Oh, I see. You're one of those guys. So let me get this straight; some crazy invisible woman in the sky told you that?

SHE'S NOT CRAZY! SHE'S GOD!!! And she's not invisible! She directly manifested herself through one of the only 7 dimensional portals on earth, one of which happens to be in my basement! And she wants me to write the TRUE scriptures about what ACTUALLY happened and how to REALLY live! Doubting her is forbidden!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

(Seriously, I'm not here to troll. I just want to make a few friends here with people who hate christianity with the same passion that I do.)

What an odd thing to say. "I hate Christianity, and I want to make friends with people who also hate Christianity. I know! I'll go to a Christian message board!" I knew atheists lack in logic, but I had no idea how completely lacking in logic they are. So if I want to find people who share the same love for Jesus I do, I should go to an atheist board? Absurd!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

So what do you think John, The Holy Spirit used a Turkey Baster on Mary to begot Jesus? Let's be logical here, God is male, just like Pastor Decon Fred.

[JonathanClement]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

So what do you think John, The Holy Spirit used a Turkey Baster on Mary to begot Jesus? Let's be logical here, God is male, just like Pastor Decon Fred.

My, friend, YOU are the one being illogical! It simply didn't happen like that! Now doesn't it make WAY more sense?

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

SHE'S NOT CRAZY! SHE'S GOD!!! And she's not invisible! She directly manifested herself through one of the only 7 dimensional portals on earth, one of which happens to be in my basement! And she wants me to write the TRUE scriptures about what ACTUALLY happened and how to REALLY live! Doubting her is forbidden!

Hey, wacko, may I suggest you go to the Landover Home for the Demonically Possessed? For you are clearly deranged. You seem to be terribly obsessed with sex, maybe this link can help you. Now, stop this nonsense, and after you become Saved(TM) (and tithe), join us in a prayer to the Almighty Father, so he can exorcize that she-demon that seems to be talking to you.

[JonathanClement]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

Hey, wacko, may I suggest you go to the Landover Home for the Demonically Possessed? For you are clearly deranged. You seem to be terribly obsessed with sex, maybe this link can help you. Now, stop this nonsense, and after you become Saved™ (and tithe), join us in a prayer to the Almighty Father, so he can exorcize that she-demon that seems to be talking to you.

Be careful. Don't blaspheme her. She's going to throw you in the pit of 1000 years of @$$-rape if you don't stop. 1000 years isn't just gone in a flash, you know. Are you sure you want to bet that you won't be judged?

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

Be careful. Don't blaspheme her. She's going to throw you in the pit of 1000 years of @$$-rape if you don't stop. 1000 years isn't just gone in a flash, you know. Are you sure you want to bet that you won't be judged?

I am completely sure, for the Lord is my Shepherd, and my Rock, besides, I've contributed a lot of my filthy drug-lord money to the True Church©, so I have a seat in this forum, keep talking like that, and maybe Jesus or one of his pastors will throw your buttocks right into Satan's big, hard, red, throbbing talliwacker... And believe, me, you won't like that.

[Deaner]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

She's going to throw you in the pit of 1000 years of @$$-rape if you don't stop.

Holy smokes!! You're even trying to sissify punishment!! With Jesus you get an eternity of ass-rape and more!

You're obvious leaning towards a feminine God reveals your need to be given permission to cry and have somebody hug you. Go to hell you weirdo. Visit your local bathouse and ask for Miguel.

[JonathanClement]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

I am completely sure, for the Lord is my Shepherd, and my Rock, besides, I've contributed a lot of my filthy drug-lord money to the True Church©, so I have a seat in this forum, keep talking like that, and maybe Jesus or one of his pastors will throw your buttocks right into Satan's big, hard, red, throbbing talliwacker... And believe, me, you won't like that.

Can you prove it? If you can't, it means you're in trouble because I can prove God! She moved a mountain, so that PROVES she's God! She even resurrected the dead! All these miracles and you STILL won't believe?! What do you want from her?!

[JonathanClement]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

Holy smokes!! You're even trying to sissify punishment!! With Jesus you get an eternity of ass-rape and more!

You're obvious leaning towards a feminine God reveals your need to be given permission to cry and have somebody hug you. Go to hell you weirdo. Visit your local bathouse and ask for Miguel.

Who are you the question God? As mere mortals, we cannot understand her infinite glory! Besides, at least it's finite punishment for finite sins! You wanna go for 2000 years? Remember, all who oppress women shall have their part in the pit! And the muslims shall have the virgins they so desperately want, but to their horror, they shall be men.

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

Can you prove it? If you can't, it means you're in trouble because I can prove God! She moved a mountain, so that PROVES she's God! She even resurrected the dead! All these miracles and you STILL won't believe?! What do you want from her?!

I can prove He exists, for He has given me the patience to deal with such lame subject, just because He wants you to be Saved(TM) (and tithe, don't forget to tithe). You want some friends here, chump? Read the KJV, embrace it, TITHE, and join your fellow True Christians(TM) here, unless of course you are a negro, or a wetback, or European, or Aussie, then you have to pass a cleaning process, and might get a seat in four years or so... did I mention the tithe?

[JonathanClement]

Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

I can prove He exists, for He has given me the patience to deal with such lame subject, just because He wants you to be Saved™ (and tithe, don't forget to tithe). You want some friends here, chump? Read the KJV, embrace it, TITHE, and join your fellow True Christians™ here, unless of course you are a negro, or a wetback, or European, or Aussie, then you have to pass a cleaning process, and might get a seat in four years or so... did I mention the tithe?

But she was revealed to me in her infinite wisdom that you are not patient, but frightened of the imaginary concept of hell! GLORY TO HER! You are so afraid of hell, that you dare not do ANYTHING that might make you risk going there! Well, I suggest you fear the pit, for it is REAL and if you continue on this path, you will know for sure ONLY when it's too late!

And as for the tithing, all scammers shall have their part in the pit! They will reap what they sow!