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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22912

    #1

    Witchcraft in Freehold!

    A month or so back, I did some gardening, mainly pruning of trees. I piled them up to dry out and burn later and yesterday, I did just that.

    Imagine my horror when, this morning, I saw this work of the Devil!

    Clearly, this is the torso of Jesus! Who knows what happened to the head and arms – probably torn off to symbolically prevent Him from seeing sin or taking the Faithful into his arms.

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    It is obvious that, sometime, over the last month, and by night, a witch has carefully crafted this blasphemy and placed it in my fire. The Lord knows that I am innocent but it is a disturbing sign of the times. Halloween, Satan’s Celebration, is not far away and the Forces of Darkness are gathering strength.

    I have buried the manikin with many prayers and am confident that Jesus will protect me and my family from this evil.

    We are suffering witches to live amongst us! I have noted several old and/or ugly women who wander the streets, apparently innocently, but with evil in their hearts. The Landover Witch Hunt cannot come soon enough!
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
  • Godfly
    Descended from Rapes
    True Christian™
    • Jan 2010
    • 1552

    #2
    Re: Witchcraft in Freehold!

    There have been more gypsies than usuall in the RV park. It's been a bother keeping them contained to their own area. The gypsie/Mexican area (set up for their own comfort) is several miles away from the main park on land donated by Mayor Hold's waste management company.

    If your looking for witches I would start and finish there.
    Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.

    Comment

    • Johny Joe Hold
      Mayor of Freehold
       
      • Feb 2010
      • 12946

      #3
      Re: Witchcraft in Freehold!

      Brother Bathfire--You have done us all a service by burning that obvious witch.

      Officer Richards and I were visiting about witches just yesterday. There are reports of growing witch worship group, not only among the Gypsies at the RV park mentioned by Brother Godfly, but among a new and growing group call Burning Man who will be holding their annual gathering in the desert soon, all 50,000 of them.

      We stepping up our search and destroy project now and monitoring any local people who might sneak off the the pagan Burning Man festival.

      I hope anyone else finding witches on their property will report them immediately.

      Burning Man is not a festival. It is a global cultural movement created by YOU. Learn about Black Rock City, Burning Man tickets, Burning Man Project, and more.
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

      Comment

      • EmmaLee
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • Jun 2012
        • 45

        #4
        Re: Witchcraft in Freehold!

        Sweet Jesus! I think a witch hunt is in order. It's time to round of the congregation and capture these heathens. Someone better get the gallows and burning stake ready!

        Comment

        • Faith_Machine
          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Mar 2011
          • 10050

          #5
          Re: Witchcraft in Freehold!

          I know it's very unbecoming of me to seem bitter or jealous, but do you all have any idea how envious I feel when I hear that you folks live some place where witchcraft is not commonplace?

          Here in the SF Bay area, I'm actually surprised if a whole day goes by without some witch leaving a manikin or fetish or some such on my property.

          I hope you folks appreciate how lucky you are, and I pray that you will be forever vigilant in defending and protecting what you have.
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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