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  • James Hutchins
    True Christian™
    Just a Regular Nice Guy
     
    • Jun 2009
    • 29453
    #1

    Happy Birthday, Mrs. M. Whitford

    Happy Birthday Mrs. Whitford!

    No doubt you have something special planned for Mr. Whitford. I imagine you are going to spend the day baking his favorite treats and polishing his boots to a mirror shine in the hopes he notices you.
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ed Lowman
      Southern Hospitality Exemplified
      Always kind and loving
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2011
      • 1838
      #2
      Re: Happy Birthday, Mrs. M. Whitford

      Happy birthday, Mrs. Whitford.

      If your virtue were measured in bouquets, you'd be the Garden of Eden made over.

      Pastor Ed

        Comment

        • Cranky Old Man
          Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
          You kids get off his lawn!
           
          • Jan 2010
          • 22379
          #3
          Re: Happy Birthday, Mrs. M. Whitford

          For some reason my wife baked you a pie. So I suppose I have to say Happy Birthday now.
          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10050
              #4
              Re: Happy Birthday, Mrs. M. Whitford

              Happy Birthday, Mrs. Whitford!

              I'm curious, if you don't mind my asking, how does a woman such as yourself, who is so far beyond her childbearing years, find meaning in her life?

              I'm guessing you probably just immerse yourself in scripture and try not to think about your bygone fertility?

              Anyway, I sent you this lovely, sterling silver replica of The Holy Temple:



              I pray that it will give you joy, and not make you sad thinking about how the temple of your womb has been dessicated by age.
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment

                • Ezekiel Bathfire
                  Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                  Christ's Rottweiler
                   
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 22902
                  #5
                  Re: Happy Birthday, Mrs. M. Whitford

                  Happy birthday to the only True Christian™ woman I know who still abides by
                  J'g:11:39: d: And it was a custom in Israel,
                  J'g:11:40: That the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in a year.

                  Your endless wailing and gnashing of teeth have been an inspiration to many.
                  sigpic


                  “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                  Author of such illuminating essays as,
                  Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                    Comment

                    • Daisy Mae Johnson
                      The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                      Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                      aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 15708
                      #6
                      Re: Happy Birthday, Mrs. M. Whitford

                      HAPPY
                      BIRTHDAY!

                      sigpic

                      Tweet me Here
                      My GODLY Bio Here

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