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Birthday!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Godfly!
Happy birthday, brother Fly. Praise Jesus for not smiting you for another year.
Don't forget to send over your generous birthday love offering today. Jesus needs a new pair of shoes.
Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!! -
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Godfly!
Happy birthday, young man! Another year, another son was born. I am sure you thank Jesus each time your wife becomes with child and you live another year to perform your responsibility.
Hopefully, you'll be at the Landover Men's Club this week. I'd love to buy you some dinner and play a game of 'Kneelling for Jesus'. I hear you are very good at it. Hehe, ny lips are chapped from His Love®.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Godfly!
A most Blessed Birthday to you!Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Godfly!
Yet another day closer to that wonderful day when loving Jesus will scoop you up in His muscular, turgid arms and bring him to His side.
He died on the cross in agony only to be reborn after a couple of days. You will be in Heaven singing His praises.
I'm sure that you no doubt will relish the agony of a lingering death as tribute to our Beautific Lord but what if you die in your sleep?
What kind of tribute would that be?
Far better for you to show your devotion Him by dying slowly, day be day, living in this sin filled world, feeling God kill your body year by year as you organs slowly degenerate and you thoughts loose their clarity.
Then that special day will come when you body succumbs to Jesus's bountiful love, you undergo systematic orang failure, your bowels open of their own accord as you mind spirals into dissolution and as you die in the agony and filth of your own effluence you can still feel the shame of this being as nothing to Jesus' temporary death.
Glory!1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Godfly!
Brother Godfly,
May our Lord and Savior draw you close to His completely toned and tanned body, wrap His exceptionally chiseled and strong arms about you, and provide you with the satisfaction of the most wonderful birthday you've even experienced.
I made a Godfly Pie just for you. Sweet, warm, and inviting, it has just the slightest hint of savory, intertwined with satisfying juices of cherry. You'll love it! I sent it in care of Pastor Ezekiel, so hurry on over and start lapping it up.
NRL1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Godfly!
LOL.Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
I can't beleive no one gets what your doing!A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Godfly!
Everyone gets what she's doing. She gives birthday pie to every True Christian man in Freehold. The women can make there own.Originally posted by FreeFromBrains View PostLeviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Godfly!
Happy Birthday, Dearest Brother Godfly!
I hope you are enjoying the birthday cake I sent you.
God created fossils to test our faith.
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My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Godfly!
Happy Birthday, Brother Godfly!
Proverbs 20:29 (1611 King James Bible)
The glory of yong men is their strength: and the beautie of old men is the gray head.I suppose the concept of pie as a loving gift rather than something swiped from a windowsill eludes you, huh boy?Originally posted by FreeFromBrains View Post
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I Kings 7:23
And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.
New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?
Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.
Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.
Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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