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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556
    #31
    Re: The joke's over. Own up.

    Originally posted by PhalseProfet View Post
    I want more funny. Just not saying the right things to tease it out of your god-fearing-selves.
    There is nothing funny about God Almighty, Mr. Mocker. Go look for your cheap laughs elsewhere.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Pastor Isaac Peters
        Senior Pastor
        Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
        Always Biblically correct
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 10639
        #32
        Re: The joke's over. Own up.

        Originally posted by PhalseProfet View Post
        I want more funny. Just not saying the right things to tease it out of your god-fearing-selves.
        God will have a big belly laugh for all eternity at your expense:

        Prov. 1:26: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

        Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

        sigpic

          Comment

          • PhalseProfet
            Unsaved Trash God mocker
            Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
            • Jul 2008
            • 10
            #33
            Re: The joke's over. Own up.

            Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
            God will have a big belly laugh for all eternity at your expense:
            Are you calling God fat?

              Comment

              • VictoryOS
                True Christian™ Beauty Queen
                 
                • Dec 2007
                • 5388
                #34
                Re: The joke's over. Own up.

                Originally posted by PhalseProfet View Post
                Are you calling God fat?
                Wow, you really do need "the funny", don't you?
                Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                in 2016

                  Comment

                  • Ebenezer Wright
                    True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Jul 2008
                    • 1021
                    #35
                    Re: The joke's over. Own up.

                    Originally posted by PhalseProfet View Post
                    Are you calling God fat?

                    No! If you read it properly he said that God will have a big belly laugh.

                    Which means he will have a big laugh that comes from deep inside the belly region its caused by seeing something really funny and you can't stop laughing.
                    Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

                    Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

                      Comment

                      • PhalseProfet
                        Unsaved Trash God mocker
                        Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
                        • Jul 2008
                        • 10
                        #36
                        Re: The joke's over. Own up.

                        Stop deleting my posts!
                        Last edited by Pastor Isaac Peters; 07-14-2008, 02:49 PM. Reason: fixed formatting

                          Comment

                          • Get Thee Hence!
                            Forum Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Feb 2008
                            • 137
                            #37
                            Re: The joke's over. Own up.

                            Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
                            God will have a big belly laugh for all eternity at your expense:

                            Prov. 1:26: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
                            Originally posted by PhalseProfet View Post
                            Stop deleting my posts!
                            You have it wrong PhalsePhallis, I ate your posts so as God could have a powernap. Even He grows weary with having to deal with unsaved scum such as yourself.

                            Excuse me, I've got a belly ache .
                            Attached Files

                              Comment

                              • Bobby-Joe
                                Landover Security Superviser
                                Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                                NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                                True Christian™
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 18405
                                #38
                                Re: The joke's over. Own up.

                                Originally posted by PhalseProfet View Post
                                Stop deleting my posts!
                                Then posting pornography to this forum sinner. This is a church forum and that kind of behavior is utterly unacceptable.

                                Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                                Hot Must ReadThreads!


                                Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                                  Comment

                                  • Pastor Isaac Peters
                                    Senior Pastor
                                    Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                                    Always Biblically correct
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Sep 2006
                                    • 10639
                                    #39
                                    Re: The joke's over. Own up.

                                    Originally posted by Ebenezer Wright (emphasis added) View Post
                                    No! If you read it properly he said that God will have a big belly laugh.

                                    Which means he will have a big laugh that comes from deep inside the belly region its caused by seeing something really funny and you can't stop laughing.
                                    Yes, like PhalseProfet bobbing up and down in the lake of fire for eternity.
                                    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                                    Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                                    sigpic

                                      Comment

                                      • JennyD
                                        Honorary True Christian™
                                        Sweet Placid Sister
                                        Forum Member
                                        • Dec 2007
                                        • 9567
                                        #40
                                        Re: The joke's over. Own up.

                                        Originally posted by PhalseProfet View Post
                                        I want more funny. Just not saying the right things to tease it out of your god-fearing-selves.
                                        We're here to show others the Glory of Jesus and His Love, not to provide entertainment.

                                        Try Comedy Central if you want "LULZ"!
                                        www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                                        Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                                        Christian Ladies:
                                        Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                                          Comment

                                          • Brother Enoch
                                            The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                                            True Christian™
                                            • Jun 2008
                                            • 4392
                                            #41
                                            Re: The joke's over. Own up.

                                            Originally posted by PhalseProfet View Post
                                            I abase myself in the fires of hell. Only the demons within this world can show true salvation. There are some crimes that can always be absolved, such as baby killing and sheep worrying.

                                            I reject all the teaching of this fourm with all the power that satan has granted me to get away with said crimes.

                                            Habeas Corpus.
                                            Ah, to be 14 again...

                                              Comment

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